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 Nov 2017 Just Jess
harlon rivers
Maybe it's been written
somewhere in the constitution
     of the waning moon

                                         ― When somebody loves you,
                                               you can never be lonely ―

But, appearances
  to the contrary,
the moon is sometimes blue;

counting stars alone
in a sky full of stars

is just about as lonely
as 'once in a blue moon'
                              can be ―

Like when the night is yours alone
                  or feeling alone
               in a crowded room

hearing Hank Williams moan within your silence
       "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry"

                                         ― When it's hard to say
                                               you love someone,..
                                               but it's harder to say
                                               when you don't ―

                • • •

A coyote's pleading howl
breaks the silent twilight engulfing trance
cast by the dappled moonlight;
like there's some kind of lonely madness
    swallowing him whole,..

    these two hollow eyes
                 gaze out through
                                     the chilly,
                                                   Autumn air
                                                             ­    spilling
                                                                ­  in through
                                                            the open window,

                                                        ­           counting stars ― alone
                                                           ­             in a sky full of stars

                                                       ­             the crackle of the fireplace
                                                       ­            echoes, startling the silence
                                                         ­                of a feigned warmth
                                                                ­          from the other side
                                                                ­ of an otherwise hollow room

and i feel frayed as a hole in an empty pocket with nothing left to lose

the impending dark winter nights are lonesome
            and  linger longer than before ...
seeing the empty space beside me
   I remember how it really really aches to just be ...

                                                            *­lonesome as a blue moon ― *

                   ✩                        ✩                                       ­ 
                ✩                                       ✩                           
✩          ­                                                      ✩
         ­                                                                 ­                                

moonless ― rivers ... 2017

Lonesome as a Blue Moon
Written by:  h.a. rivers
 Sep 2017 Just Jess
They say,
It will fix all of your problems,
All your broken,
All your pain,
Will take that all away,
All I can honestly say to that,
Is how can you put that kind of pressure on someone?

heal me
fix me
save me

Because "you're all I have"
Or "I'm lost without you"
Will fix everything wrong with me
Don't care if it makes everything wrong with you.

Someone told me,
That love,
Is a lie,
And that we only think we need it,
Because everyone tells us we do,
And we do,
But not from her,
And definitely not from you,
We need love
Because society convinces young girls,
That it will fix everything
And it will.
But its not the kind of love
That is taking over 13 year old girls,
The love,
From another human being
Isn't what's gonna fix you,
you have to,
Because yes,
Love will fix everything,
If you love you.

And believe me,
This is something that I wish I knew long ago,
Because I went so long,
Hating myself,
And wanting love from someone else,
When all the healing I needed to do,
Was inside of me,
When I figured out,
That love for yourself is beautiful,
It makes everything clearer,
Makes sense,
My love,
Your love,
Is what'll fix you,
That's not something I can do.
Said love so much, it doesn't even sound like a word anymore
 Sep 2017 Just Jess
The Willow
To you,
I probably still sound like silence,
Words coating my throat as I hold them back,
Afraid they aren't what you want to hear.

Are you aware of the pages and pages
And pages
I've scraped and coughed and saved
From my throat

The thought of you made me gag and
Out came poetry, far enough away for you
To not hear, but close enough to find
If you care enough to look.

— The End —