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 Feb 2018 Jesha
Em
Bloody & Verbose
 Feb 2018 Jesha
Em
Do you bleed when you write?
When your fingertips
get sore and your muscles
get tight
Do you bleed?
From your heart?
With each beat comes a new
line
and you hope that it sounds like something
that doesn't quite rhyme
But it sounds good in time.
It'll sound good in time.
Just keep writing.


Keep bleeding.
Don't give up on this. The pen was made for your hand and your hand only. I swear.
 Feb 2018 Jesha
Nuna
As a poet
I am expected to romanticize the **** out of you
spill my heart out on paper write about the way you drink your tea so calmly and how it reminds me of the sun going down
sliding my fingers through your messy hair is like running through a field of sunflowers, I'd write
none of this really fits though
after all, I'm a poet

when you sleep
I'll admire the peace and beauty that lie within your precious, resting face

I'll write about the shades of green your eyes hold
and go in detail about how different they are from each other

I'll fall asleep next to you and hold you tight when you're not sleeping right

I'll be the breeze in the summer
not the disturbing type that ruins your hair
but the type you crave when the hat is running down your neck, spine
(everything will be fine)

I'll kiss you
wait, no
I'll gently press my lower lip against yours
breathing in the air I've been missing out on
placing my thumbs on your cheeks, carefully
I'll kiss you like my life depended on it

As delicate as a poets soul may be, my soul

I'll be the first sip of coffee that burns your tongue
the insomnia sweeping into your bed at 3am
baby please stay up with me
I'll be the discomfort in silence, the wrong color that ruins a painting
(pardon my screaming I can't hear myself with all these voices in my head)


call me a poet
 Feb 2018 Jesha
z
the truth about happiness
is that is never lasts
not really

happiness is fleeting
like a balloon
after you’ve filled it up to fly
tied it and all
but the tie was loose
and so
eventually
it would fall

the oxygen escapes the balloon
like happiness escapes us
little by little
we become the least bit unhappier

when i fell in love with him
it was as if i received a balloon for a very first time
how happy he made me
gave me a high like no other
but again
the tie was loose
our happiness wouldn’t last forever

soon there was a day
where the euphoria wore off
the balloon left for the skies
and he followed
so i was left
to drown
in my own sadness
in the ocean
of my doubt

happiness is fleeting
quick
taken for granted
it feels like a once-in-a-lifetime thing
and you just missed it

but life waits for no one
so i kept walking
and there, i found you

and my dear,
i would find out
that you made the world a little less bleak
gave me a little hope
made me a little happy
when i did not think i could feel happiness again.

there were still days
where i fell back into the darkness
and my happiness dissapeared
but you stayed
and each time
you taught me a new form
of “happy”

and you told me
that to be really
truly
happy
more than loving you
i needed to love me

for if one day
you could not walk the same path as i
then my smile would not wither
like the flowers you gave me
or die out
like the love i gave in return
— and they did

so the truth about happiness
i was right the first time
it doesn’t last
not really
not with someone else

the only way to achieve “eternal happiness”
is to find that happiness
within yourself
— love yourself,
for you’re all you’ve got
 Dec 2017 Jesha
kas
this is how it happens
it's the last day the temperature will be
above thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit
until February
you're not looking at the date
it's just the end of November
the middle of the night in the middle of a road
at the end of November
the hum of this small town hurts your ears
you're stuck in a dream where everything you see
turns into a weapon
this is how it happens
you knocked back sharp, amber liquid
to make this place feel a little more okay
and it only worked halfway
no matter how soft the edges are
you bruise your hips when you
run into them in the dark
you're ******* on your fourth cigarette when
a police officer pulls over and asks
how you're doing today
in the too-bright white of the headlights
the sick taste of Red Stag sticks to
the roof of your mouth
the mouth that you're moving into a smile
the mouth exhaling plumes of smoke at the ground
you're okay
"i'm okay."
you don't tell him what you're really doing
you're really taking all of your
thoughts about stopping your pulse for a walk
you don't tell him you've been
chasing ambulances all night long
please, officer don't leave me alone, you don't say
he tells you to have a good night and drives away
and this is how it happens
the moon smiles at you with every single one
of its tiny, sharp teeth
nobody but your cat finds you in that bathtub
nobody but your cat watches you rise from red water
watches it drip drip drip
from every chasm carved in your left arm
nobody but your cat saw the soft animal of your soul
shiver from the cold that day
it's the first day the temperature
dropped below
thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit inside your chest
based on true events
 Oct 2017 Jesha
avalon
loss
 Oct 2017 Jesha
avalon
grief is fingernails in your palm
when you're standing in a public restroom
wondering why everything feels wrong.

grief is not having worn mascara for four months
because streaked ink-black cheeks isn't a look
you want to be known for.

grief is dancing on the verge of tears
in a math class, because your mind wanders
too often and death looms too large to avoid.
i can't write anymore
 Aug 2017 Jesha
Samantha Marie
When it hits me
It comes in stages
Everything will be fine
Then the thoughts flood my mind
They take over me
I start to get numb in the chest
I then lose focus
Only thinking of the thoughts it has brought
There is no way to avoid it
Pain
Trauma
Sadness
It fills my body till there is no actual life left
10/13/2016
An invisible tidal wave
That drowns me with thoughts
 Aug 2017 Jesha
Lora Lee
ravenous
 Aug 2017 Jesha
Lora Lee
sitting here but not
my insides
       in a twist
my organs blooming,
their flower landscapes
rising in my solar plexus
like poetry expanding
its cellular shapes
into
        light frequencies
I need way more.
I need the pulling off
      and stripping down
of souls
I need to meet in
a depth of falling
I need to be pushed off
the silent gates of madness
into endless sea
no looking back
senses piqued
from slightest brush
of oral butter pouring
on hot cream
my mouth, a searing
crimson wound
oscillates in
contraction radar pulses
ripe for intense
tongue exploration
         aching to be filled up with
your distinct flavor
My essence molecular is
overflowing with fluid
giving me life
in throbbing, raw
electric vibes
whipped organic, in
                 rolling tides
Somewhere, out there
                  our volcanic impulses
                          meet in steamy ebbs
                     and send energyflow
to a new and ancient universe,
magnetic
and I am
a raging heaven's child
      wrapped in
           a tight little
              tourniquet
     blood pumping
through these veins
             my longing for
                 dark stretches
   of intimate caresses
to soothe
  the spikes
      of snaking pain
Give me
those airwaves that
let me breathe freedom
into the fields of our skin
Let me run like wild herds
of the animal within

and as I find myself
hanging off
my
      own
  edges
my many-braided loops
         in zigzag split,
a-fray
my skin rips open,
parting fibers
that expose my
very
      DNA
helix swivel
     undulation
hips grinding into
                     soul
reaching in to
pull out
fresh rebirth
from between my folds
O help me to allay
this tender affliction
undo me, already
so I lose control
one little shove
and I am over the cliff
deep into ocean
**** over spliff
I am beyond ready
so grind it to the hilt
Give me your
tender-ripped heart,
spill your honeycomb milk

I am here, ravenous
in the pan
uncooked yet ripe
saliva and breath
steaming my own innards
flushing out strife
I am piquant hot pepper
ready to be broiled
my blood is already
                             boiling
my tender meat oiled
mull me over
in your oral cavity
like sacred wine
until I drip
through your bones
and down your spine
Just meld with me
                        and flow
into that light tunnel
of dark time and space
so I can stake out
my rhythms
and claim
      my
new
sacred
      place
Thank you, everyone, for all the love. Right back at you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lG8l6JyQb0A
 Aug 2017 Jesha
Nat Lipstadt
for Alyssa Underwood
~~~

my poems do not trend, go viral,
Fast and Furious!


yet, they do not die


they lay in plain sight pebbles scattered,
smoothed by time,
upon the surface of the
green earth waiting patient, virtuous,
purposed for itinerants bards
to trip over one
one some someday

somehow they accrete a readership,
slow stepping and steady from,
|the seekers and the stumblers,
the droplet drinkers,
meanderers of the tomes and tombs of prior years,
miners for nuggets in the poem pools that form
beneath the alluvial streaming
of the waterfall crescendo
of words

I like this

when another traveler sends me a like,
a petite amuse-bouche bite of appreciation,
for a long ago, barely recalled, writ,
allowing them to carve their initials upon the
external, visible roots of my tree trunk,
invading me, by darkening a prior tree internal ring,
forcing me to look down,
look back,
take measure of myself,
accepting myself as not wanting,
nor lacking in other's acceptance

these statements are neither  boastful or illusory,
yet still joyous, like caramel pleasures,
slow to chew, fast to the taste,

reminding me of old friendships,
well valued,
though no longer fully employed,
their uncovering is my own refreshed exposure,
their discovery is my own re-discovery,
exposing flaws and fallacies,
even fallow,
mostly shallow facts
about me

all of them,
a sundae of truths and lies, sharing a happy laugh
with and at
me,
when I think to myself,

"****, did I write that?"

copyright 2015 by Nat Lipstadt
all true.
sometimes I type in the search mode a word unusual, offbeat,
of my own choosing,
and let it lead me to the older nuggets of others,
familiar and unfamiliar,
from under the trees of their forest...

Oct. 7, 2015
4:21am
Manhattan Island
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