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 Jan 2017 Jenny Cerna
storm siren
I listen to our song
When nobody's home.
I play it loud
And sing every word
Until I feel better.
Until I don't miss you so much.

I threw on your hoodie
This morning
After washing my hair
In cold sink water.
It smelled like fire.
Now it just smells like you.

I'm bundled in our blankets,
Holding your bathrobe close in my arms.
Because being away from you
Is much more painful
And much more emotional
Than I had thought.

I'm fixing dinner
And it feels lonely
Only cooking for one person.
It feels sad
Only making enough soup
For myself.

I listen to our song
On repeat as I drift off to sleep.
I play it loud,
And hum every word
Until I feel better.
Until I don't miss you so much.

I still miss you
So much.
 Jun 2016 Jenny Cerna
mk
5w
 Jun 2016 Jenny Cerna
mk
5w
"don't become who hurt you"*

*-the five words that changed my life
I've forgotten what you sound like
If you were near
What you smelled like
Would be unfamiliar
I can hardly remember what you look like
No calls
Or text
But the silence I like the best
Happy Father's Day
To a father who was never here
Your on a path to conquer my heart
But the ground has been ***** trapped with land mines since the start
Buried so you couldn't see
This trail has been long closed
The warning sign
Has grown fragile
And infected with mold  
But like an idiot you venture forth
Driven by feelings you just can't control
They send you on a surge to try and claim this path
I wish I could tell you it was just the land mines trying to keep you back
If you shall make it past
You will find yourself standing before a forest
With barbed wire hanging from the branches instead of leaves
And this isn't the end
If the other two didn't stop you before
This definitely will put a stop to you
Beyond the tress you will find an oasis
But don't fooled by its beauty
Or you will find yourself in the mouth of quick sand
I advise you turn and walk away
Because you never had a chance
How close to this line can I get
One more stop and that's it
So close to hating you
I can taste it when I sweat
The thought of leaving you Is so tempting
I lust for it
Like a pervert
Imagining breast
But what's holding me back
My feelings for you are at rest
My heart doesn't beat for you in my chest
How far from this line can i get
It's to late I've already stepped over
I'm not the type of guy who cares
If you come to me with complaints of guys wondering eyes
You'll just get a blank stare
From two dead eyes
That pierce you
And behind them
You can't see
The trapped anger
Banging from behind my retinas
Wanting desperately to be set free
Desensitized
Not much of a friendly guy
Friends I once had
Never last
I hate people
Like a white racists
Talking about how much he adores the black race
Desensitized from the comforting I've never had
But I'm glad
Who wants to feel
When people aim at your emotions
With the intent to ****
Mine are being kept in a styrofoam box
With a three gage lock
And there they will rot
You can't comfort me like her
I dash into her grasp when she's near
In her presence I feel most safe
I can detect her love radiating from off the pages
I whisper what plagues me in her ear
Behind your back I confess my love to her boldly
When I'm with you I'm wishing she could hold me
When I'm broken
Shes the mechanic that fixes me
My tears full of ink
Morphed into written words
I disclose my pain to her
In each line
Addicted to her like a fein
When I say goodnight to you
I lay with her and dream
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