Instead of speaking up,
I usually speak down
Unless I get excited and
I share ideas like a clown
With my arms flailing
Physically because I’m enthused
And metaphorically grasping
For someone else to not lose
More interest in me
Even though I deviate a lot
From the societal norms
That confine many in a little box
**** that little box
People talk a lot without sharing
But I’m the key to the lock
So I’m freaking out without caring
Until I turn the lights out
And my phone buzzes for Candy Crush
But there’s nobody’s messages on that list
Because I didn’t barter love
The products I offer
Are insufficient for my needs
So obviously I need some lessons
On how to calm down; smoke ****,
Don’t read books, don’t
Develop imagination
Watch tv, scroll Facebook,
Be patient and wait for your whole life
For something around the corner
Until you’re waiting and your impulses
Drive you into lonely streets
Lamenting your losses
Looking for stimulation
Constantly checking the phone
Until I stop and look around
I’m lost, I don’t know how I’ve grown