Dull orbs of green
Stare back from reflective material
Once vibrant fire cascaded down
Now lackluster

Once carefree and bright smiles
Replaced by emptiness and frowns
Darkness lurking in recesses
Springs forth covering everything

Thoughts trapped behind shutters to the soul
As lids lift allowing a stagnant light to glimpse
Dark and cold are blankets of warmth
Vibrant color so drab

Voices, smiles, laughter, light
Silent, empty, tears, pain
Arms reach out
Attempting to break through

Feeling the vice grip
Slivers of feeling enter
Screams bounce off just below the skull
Anguish read in the sea of green

Wanting desperately to break free
She can feel the anguish smothering
Sleep the escape
Wakened to more agony

Pills said to be the answer
Day in day out
More added to the regimen
No change in the mirror

Dreams the escape
Life the prison
Tell me how you feel
Visions of blades gauging flesh

Red floods the scene
Such warmth surrounds briefly
Suddenly very cold
No one thought to understand

Pills withdrawn
Voices no more
Lying in the poppies
Eyes dull and lifeless

Feelings gone
Peaceful rest at last
The fight long gone
Stark white sheet beneath
the cold black bag

One I trust
Apart from the rest
Held in esteem
Never uncomfortable

There is a type
I should have recognized
Acting like the elite
Oddly separated

Starts with help
Coming to you
As you expect
You knew I would

Quiet, that's me
Shy
Dependent on praise
Lifts up my day

Take it slow
Tickles your brain
Knowing to fast
Will show your hand

Praises daily
Addicting to me
Depending more
Using less of me

Influence is drastic
Friends try to intervene
Blow them off
Keep listening

Day after day
Time after time
I fall
You catch

Pace quicknes
Growing need
The opening arrives
Move in, breath held

Hair rises on nape of neck
Ignore it you croon
Immersed in your world now
Friends alienated

Classes missed
None notice
Weeks gone
Mail piles up

Semester ends
No sign I exist
Missing person
Name on a poster

Tears fall down cheeks
Eyes dull
Just what thrills you
Conquests, dolls

Poster fades
Rips and disappears
Trapped even now
So gullible

Tiring of the look
I cringe
Wondering at the days
Darkness blissful

Fresh posters hung
Face full of life
Whispers abundant
Body found, remember her

If only they had reported
Even now they are the key
He is a predator
The worst kind

My killer was my mentor
Friend to the School
The rich task master
Jollies in blood

A new poster
Hangs beside mine
Another is missing
Soon another body they will find

Teach your young early
Keep them vigilant
Make them depend on themselves
This kills his type


Written by Niyah Love
All rights reserved

Air carresses porcelain skin
His firm lips press eagerly to every nook
Hands graze over pert *******
Goosebumps appear as nails dig lightly

Teeth sink ever so slightly into pouty full lips
Lithe figure squirms beneath him
Brilliant twinkling blues stare at the dent in the lip
Leaning forward svelte tongue drags across

Tasting
Teasing
Suckling

Finally sinking pearly whites into the dent
Ears perk as a hard moan escapes from deep within her
Releasing the lip leaves that wondrous mouth to catch
The sound that drives every lover wild

Gasping
Grinding
Groaning

Her body like an instrument
To be stroked, trimmed, plucked
Until that magnificent all consuming music plays out
With tender strokes, pads lightly pluck taut rose buds

Body leans back over the arm
Ample spheres of beauty push out as the back arches
Flames of spun silk kiss the floor
Aqueous tongue traces a path up the center
Veering right at the last second
Drenching tightly drawn peaks by suckling with the inferno
Inside his mouth

Insides quiver almost tossing her over ecstacy's edge
Feeling his phallus hard against trembling thigh
Blood races to the pleasure center pulsating where his rod presses
Crying out passionately, followed by begs

"Please"
"Please what?"  He asks.
Each word sending lava to her core
"I don'don't know!"  She screams frustrated

He chuckles further infuriating and confusing her
Knowing what is wanted he continues to tease
Pulling her forward with hands pinned behind her back
An exasperated sounds emits from swollen lips

"Tsk Tsk"  He admonishes
Subtlety grinding the tip of his staff against that hidden pearl
She struggles, yanking at her arms
Unable to escape the torment, trying to block it

Suddenly a door opens a soft mew fills his ears
Soft plush pillows caressed by firm ones
Mouths open as tongues greet eagerly,

Twisting
Turning
Dancing
Caressing

He feels the change the point of no return
Lush curves push against muscles
Bare mound begins to move up and down his thigh
Moisture soaking through his jeans

A fierce cry permeates the air as his teeth sink into her neck
Replaced by tongue stabbing over, suckling hard
Yet biting again
He feels her pace pick up as she grinds deeper and faster

Pain equals pleasure
Pleasure is pain
He begins to crank up the heat
Nipping the ear lobe as fingers grip and pull on tight *******

Her body responds like a well played guitar
Cries and moans spur him on
Bites become harder
Pinches become twists

The pale silk flesh suddenly covered in red welts
Mews turn to groans
Groans turn to cries
Cries turn to screams

As the screams start his thigh is flooded with her ***
Moans escape his lips in time for her kiss to catch them
His member is pulsating, he needs to take her soon
Ruby lips are devouring his

Teeth smash together
Lips split and bleed
The salty taste the only clue
He feels her lips pressing against his neck

Licking
Kissing
Nibbling
Biting

Feeling her teeth press deep into his neck is his undoing
Growling loudly as his body reacts
**** jumps up with steady spasms
Yanking the buttons off the fly

Fully engorged mushroom springs forward at the tip of
9 sleek thick inches
"Ahhhhhh" relief as the beast is let out
Unpinning her hands they immediately go for his shaft
Gripping tight

Air ***** hard like a kick to the stomach
Lips meet again
Twirling, suckling, dancing fervently
Hands everywhere no part left untouched

He slides a finger deep between silky folds
Pulling forth the sweetest nectar
Leaning forward tongue delves out suckling the heated sweetness
Her breath hot in his ear as ******* dip deep
Filling, stretching, pushing, adding a third elicits a guttural moan

Fingers curl up pressing against the soft ledge
Mouths crash together again
Hand grabs a fist of flames pulling back
Deep emeralds flash such fire stare back

Watching as her last effort to undo me occurs
Tongue glides slowly tracing her mouth lips
Fingers ease out replaced by the sword
Placing digits between her lips leaning in tasting her *** upon her lips
As his hard length slams home plundering Her tight volcanic well deep

Pushing
Pulling out
Ramming to the hilt

Mouth swallowing every sound
Allowing it to fuel musical movements
In, out, up, down
Sliding, pumping
Biting, pinching

Flesh hitting flesh the clapping sound oblivious to us
Her heated well ******* his clock deeper
Hips lifting, gyrating meeting each ******
Opening to him like no other

Sweat covers naked flesh
Bodies collide over and over
Neither giving less than the other
Feeling her vice grip upon his shaft it begins to quiver
He increases the pinching, biting, and suckling

Rocking to and fro harder, faster
Gasping as his clock twitches
Her hand reaches between them making a circle around the base
Gripping tight as he pumps in, tighter still on withdrawal

Ahhhs,  Ohhs, yeesssses!
Fill the room
Her emerald greens gaze deep into his striking blues
Arching hard her body beneath  his
Her ***** having such a grip he can't breathe
His ***** tense as he feels his own ecstasy approaching

Trying to move but wanting to hold on just a moment longer
The redhead leans up tracing his lips with her tongue
Slamming home three more times
Sacs draw up and he feels the release as it flies through his staff
Spewing deep into her red hot well

Her walls tremble, gripping and releasing after her own body
Explodes, her juices spurting forward mixing with his as spasms rock their world

Afterwards is calm and warm
Looking at her sweet flesh now a wreck, marks from his teeth, fingers and lips evidence of how hot things became

Lips meet once more in an almost chaste kiss
Bodies intertwined as they fall asleep
Each dreaming about the hours before.
Sleeping in blissful contentment

I feel it moving within
Not sure what it is yet
My heart flutters then beats harder
The fine hair upon alabaster flesh rises

I pace back and forth across the room
Nothing heard but the thump of my heartbeat in my ear
I don't understand what is going on
With every pace I get edgier

Devilish green eyes sparkle beneath scarlett lashes
Suddenly noise breaks through
Dishes breaking, pans clanking
The yelling overtaking it all

Heart pounds faster as my pace increases
I feel like I might break into a run
Each scream makes me cringe
Fists clench

Looking down blood coats my palms
Realizing my nails broke through the skin
Images flash through my mind
Fire, explosions, screams,

I run from the noise below
Feet hit the stairs faster and faster
My blood feels hot
Skin flushed, film of sweat across my brow

I try the calming exercises
Singing between bursts of pacing again
Deep breaths in slow out
Trying to fight it

Yet the fuel feeds the monster
Redheaded monster as I call it
Parents continue their tirade
They don't care what it does to me

I feel it surging forward
Reaching my inner sanctum
Pinching my thigh hard trying to fight it off
Knowing it is futile to fight

Inhaling a deep breath
It surges through me
Blood boils
A noise escapes parted lips

Guttural, filled with pain, resignation, and pure RAGE!
Hands grasp anything they can
Ripping, pulling, tearing
Kicking, stomping, jumping

Screams fill the room as the rage continues to unleash
Why do they do this?
They know it sets me off
Unglues me

Luckily this room is filled with things that are meant for this
My explosions had come less frequent but more volatile
I knew I had to get control
Right now wasn't going to happen

Rage consumes me
Surging like a tidal wave
When triggered I explode
Just like a nuclear bomb

My arms and legs tire
I am weak from the tirade
Falling to the bed
Cool sheets soothe heated flesh

Heartbeat slows
Breathing grows softer
The tiny hairs settle down
I hear the very faint hint of soothing music

Lids fall softly blanketing glistening green orbs
Moisture dries upon cheeks
Body relaxes as all the fire escapes
Leaving behind a beautiful, sleeping form

The sun is shining
I wait with anticipation
Remembering the day we met
After a time
I went down on one knee
Asked you to be mine
Your eyes glistened with tears
As you said yes yes oh yes!

The music starts
All eyes look to the back
A vision in white, all sparkles and light
My eyes drink in the vision of you
Heart pounding, I could not breathe
So beautiful my love
I am the luckiest man alive
With you as my bride

You arrive at my side
I take your soft hands into mine
The preacher blesses us
Vows are said
"In sickness and in health"
"Until death do us part"

I lift that circle of infinity
My hand shakes as I slide that circle
Upon your slender finger
I feel the tremble in your hand
As you do the same to mine
"You may kiss your bride"
My lips press hard to yours
Sealing our commitment before all

We never know what our future brings
Time flies by as husband and wife
Our life together is full and complete
We have a child a blessing for certain
Years of bliss continue one after another
Suddenly a cloud arrives in our bliss
The doctors involved explain
It will be a fight for your life

I watch as you struggle
Fighting so hard
Not wanting to leave us or this world
Another blessing we are given
Oh thank God all is clear
Once again our life is sailing smoothly
Happiness surrounds us

A new cloud arrives over our heads
We do all the right things
But our hearts fill with dread
The doctors news fills our world with darkness
No sunlight in view
I watch you fight again
Harder this time

He says there is nothing to be done
I am supposed to just watch you drift away
Everyone we know sends us prayers every day
A miracle is wanted, no it is needed
Twenty seven years is just not enough
Watching you grow sicker
Yet always smiling for me
Hanging on to give us more time

After a spell you finally say
It is time my love
Til death do us part has finally come
My world is shattered, my heart broken
Our love is so pure, strong, and enduring
Asking God to spare you once more

I remember the day I made you mine
Placing that beautiful circle upon your finger
You do the same to mine
Now you sleep like an angel
Though this time you will not awake again
Tears flow freely as my heart breaks in pieces

Looking down on you
As you are in your final bed
So beautiful as always
I take that circle you gave me
Never had it been removed
Once again taking your hand into mine

"Til death do us part" has come
Slipping my ring upon your finger
Once again I cannot even breathe
Wanting you to keep our symbol with you
Knowing when I join you
One day in the distance
You will give it back to me again
Joining us in eternal bliss

I don't know how I will go forward
Move on day to day
All I feel is emptiness
A weight drowning my heart
I feel the sun shining upon my face
Clouds try to smother it to dark

The warmth touches my cheek
A whistle of air flows through the trees
Knowing you are there watching over me
As you wait for your groom to join you
I will be there one day my love
Meanwhile just watch over me

Til death do us part
Truer words have never been spoken


Witten by Jennifer Humphrey all rights reserved 2014

He lived in darkness
Never to see the light of day
Nothing of his choosing
But here he would stay

Walking at night was his thing
As daylight would **** him dead
Out of the corner of his eye
A vision of purity blinded body, heart, and soul

"Who was this vision he had seen?"
"Wherest had she come from?"
"Were tricks being played?"
"Another thing to torture him more?"

Blending in dark as night he followed
The click of her shoes did little to silence
That tell tale drumbeat of her heart
Inhaling deeply an intoxicating scent

Hissing softly as every part of him began to burn
He disliked the human world
Having found nothing but pain and for
Much rather keep to the night

Living in the shadows
Feeding from low life
She, the female was different
He could smell the innocence

"You want her you know."
  "Shut up!  I do not."
"Oh I know you want her."
  "No."

Laughter fills his ears
Driving him insane
Hating that voice, that thing inside him
It was the evil inside his darkness

Usually he had a handle
Could keep it at bay
Yet when his desire rash hot
Darkness knew and found him vulnerable

The fight had gone on for years
Always able to keep that evil locked up
Rearing it's nasty head only when good happened by
He did want her, Oh blessed he wanted her

He could not go near never
To do so would doom them both
Her heart so pure called to his so black
Laughter echoed in his brain

She pulled the cloak tighter around her
Feeling the dark night surrounding
Like a beautiful lover's embrace
Someone was following

A look over the shoulder
Sparkling greens caught a shadow
Shivering, heart beating fast
Looking for help anywhere, had to be a light

Around the corner loomed a very large castle
Music played, lights ablaze
Feet danced over cobblestone
Hastening to safety

Not watching suddenly landing into strong arms
Skin flushed like the reddest rose
Rise and fall against the neck as blood pounded there
Gasping loudly, breathlessly apologizing

"Oh! Pardon me Sir, I was frightened and didn't see you."
  "No pardons necessary Mi'lady." "May I help somehow?"
"Might I impose on you help to get me home?"
  "It will be no imposition, the pleasure mine."

He could not have planned it better
Twas as though he had seen the future
When he caught her spotting him
He had maneuvered ahead to intercept

"I told you, you want her."
  "Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!!"
His brain on fire from that one evil part
He refused to hurt this delicate violet

His gloved hand lifted hers placing it around his elbow
Her smile was as brilliant as the quarter moon
Sheer white skin made the blue veins seem darker
His mouth salivated, he could feel his teeth shifting

"I said NO!" screamed in his head
They walked forward into the fire lit entry
Music playing, many were dancing
He was a gracious host, taking her cloak passing off to a servant

Her eyes were the greenest of oceans
Body fit his hands like a glove
Innocence shown all over her
Yet he could smell the passion burning beneath

She was intoxicating
He had the fiercest eyes
His body was so tight
Skin so pale

She felt her heart skip a beat as he pulled her closer
Having wondered what it felt like to be held by a man
Now she could not get him out of her mind
So much so she forgot about being stranded

The ball continued and she began to dance with him
They were made for one another
Every eye watched the fluid movements
He watched the pulse beat wildly in her throat

Oh to taste her, what bliss would it be
"****** No!" He wouldn't and couldn't
She knew something was different, sinister
Yet when he looked at her she would do anything to stay

Guests began to leave
He called for his carriage
He could see the disappointment in her eyes
But he was determined to take her home safely

He escorted her to the carriage and away they went
Arriving at her home he brought her to the door
He couldn't stop himself, leaning forward his soft lips pressed to hers

Her body pressed to his like he was her air
Nibbling, licking and nipping at each other's lips
His hand cupped her face he could feel her heart
He had to leave before it was to late

Suddenly he tasted her
A moan followed the sweet blessed warmth
Ohh such sweetness like nectar to a bee
She so pliant not a care or worry

He suckled more as his evil laughed hysterically
Must stop, you must
Fighting the evil that wanted more
Sealing the tiny tear in her lip he ended the kiss

"I must leave now Mi'lady."
  "So soon?" She was disappointed
"Yes now precious."
  "Will I see you again?"

He nodded yes but thought no inside
Watched as she went into the lit mansion
Entering his carriage he began to brood
She tasted like life itself, he needed her

His evil knew he would take her eventually
Just sit and bide his time
Of course he would make him suffer every day until
THAT day

To be continued

Written by Jennifer Humphrey all rights reserved
11/7/2014

Words can convey so much more than most know.
A poet can make someone smile, laugh, or cry, and weep
All in the same collection of syllables forming words

A poet can push a person's mind until the heart bursts with happiness, breaks from deep sadness, and dies down right frightened.  All from words formed into sentences

Poets can create a scene of great disdain or nothing but frivolous faire in one sentence turning it to deep concentration hunting for resolution from sentences creating stanzas.

Poets paint a picture that can't be seen by a passerby or displayed in a window case.   It can be placed in plain site something of ******* nature yet unless looked into deeply will never be seen.  As stanzas form a poem that paints that picture

Poets sometimes can only paint basic emotion with words yet some can pull raw lustful emotion from deep in the soul.  Syllables to words bring excitement and desire.  Excitement, need, and release like two bodies locked together in sweaty heated embraces

Poets bringing syllables to words to sentences can capture ones longing carrying along to paragraphs that feel, hear, taste, smell, and see the burning need that the stanzas envoke the basics of carnal lust to break free like a caged lion whose food lay just outside the cage

Poets bring to close the paragraphs that wrap it all together Can you feel the sunlight against naked flesh so warm reflecting off beads of perspiration?  Can you taste the deliciousness of her desire upon ruby lips?  Or from the moisture that coats his fingers as they glide easily through silken petals?  

Poets continue painting with words, stanzas and paragraphs moving to hearing.  Can you hear the cries and pleas begging as desire builds to uncontrollable heights? Feeling. Hearing. Tasting. What is left the poet thinks. Ahhhhh to see and to smell

Poets syllables to words, stanzas, to paragraphs moving towards the pinnacle of rapture their every desire for the reader to see. Hius tongue lavishes the sweet flesh, tasting the musky desire as hands caress and pull upon tender buds of pleasure, the pants, moans, mews, cries, grunts, screams, mix together to form to a crescendoing of music

Continuing as pools of deep blue suffocate emeralds that look back. A growl followed by a almost hedonistic finale as the beings are rocked to their core. The syllables, words, stanzas, paragraphs almost to the picture seeing as the golden dagger of despair is plunged into the innocent heart.  Mixture of musky sweetness glistening upon flesh as red rivers flow to meet and mingle, swirling against the pale white.  The punget rust mixed with essence of bliss finishes the painting.

Poet started with syllables to words on to stanzas then paragraphs drawing from happiness, love to desire, need, release, slammed into the abyss of pain, despair and a private hell only each person viewing the poet's work can explain to themselves and perhaps share with another.

Bashfulness, Happiness, eagerness, apprehension, desire, need, fire, pleasure, release, pain, excruciating pain, lonely, despair, abysmal sadness, depression

The picture painted yet not with colors on canvas but with words on paper.  The mind fills in the forms, colors, and lives the sentence of taste, touch, sight, noise, and of course the smell.  If the poet is truly good one might find they actually do get a whiff of what is writen caressing their nasal pathways.

Written by Niyahlove.  :-)  All rights reserved please be respectful November 2, 2014

this is fairly long and has ****** content*

I awaken in a dark room
Moving, I realize I am bound
WHAT THE ****!!!!! ( screams in my head)
I struggle, realizing freedom is not forthcoming

A gag soaked with saliva blocks the voice
what is going on
last memory is of friends at a fetish event
Thinking of everyone there trying to remember
Anyone that might have turned on the red signal

All were in masks
None seemed out of place
How did I wind up here
where the hell IS here?"
Wiggling fingers that send angry pin needles
Through the arms

Knowing it has been awhile since these bonds were done
People at the event were friends
Headaches like it had been drugged or hit
Thoughts run through my head, like buffalo on olden day prairies
What is going on?

Praying someone will miss me
Doubting that as I am known as the loner
Ice kitten  the name that described me best
Especially with interpersonal relationships
**** me who would do this?"

Deep cleansing breaths He used to say
Concentrating on One from the past to try and calm myself
Heartbeat pounding against the rough rope
Surrounding very ample ivory globes
Though by now the rose blushed tips upon white would be a cyanide blue

The door slams open hitting the wall
Cleansing breath almost chokes me
Deep baritone says I see you are awake ****
Mumbling loudly against the gag
Tingles roar throughout my body

Air whispers across me
Realizing that flesh is exposed to God only knew who
Further enraging the senses, I begin struggling anew
CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!
Sound reaches my ears before.....
"OHH ******* hell" I scream out (although only I understood the words)
Fire slices across my ***
The wind kisses it as liquid trickles down the crack of the ivory half moons

Breathe girl Breathe
I keep that mantra going
Still trying to figure this out
Black lines streak my face
Lightning still touches my ***

Large fingers pinch the striped part of bleeding skin
Nose stopped up from crying as each breath is labored
Body squirms as the hand massages the heat
That baritone voice strikes a chord deep in my belly
His words are not heard at first which elicits a slap to the exposed thigh

******* in air causes a weird snapping sound
The hair on arms stands as he repeats the missed words
"Are you a good **** or a bad one?".
Go to hell is the first response that spits against the gag
Tsk tsk tsk he responds, the tone sending spirals of heat
radiating out from the belly

Something in His voice awakens the submissive fire that has lain dormant since the One left
That wretched gag is finally removed
Gulping in as much air as I can
Praying that cloth will stay free
Though the power of sight is still deprived

"Who are you?  What do you want with me?  How di
Large hand suddenly yanks hard upon long tresses of flame
Silencing my questions quickly
The voice that reverberates through the bound flesh states in a hushed tone
" If there is something I wish for you to know it will be so."
"If you understand nod your head"
Barely nodding as hair was still caught in a vise grip

Thoughts and feelings scream through my mind
Wanting out of here my mind screams as my body betrays the protest, the racing heart, panting breath, as well as the moisture building between swollen petals
What was I to do?  The more he spoke the wetter I became

Clanking sounds fill the air as the ropes are attached to a chain, I feel binds cinching tighter in places and loosening in others.  Fire roars throughout as blood surges and circulates
Moans escape chapped lips a new fear coursing within
Cringing as I await for the next reminder I have done something that displeases Him

The roughness of rope glides abrasively as more flesh is revealed.  Crying out as needles stab where blood returns
Teeth sink hard into plump lower lip biting back any noises
His hand touches my face gently
Jerking away reactively, regret releases a tear then another

The same gentle touch turns severe as something cold snaps down on the taut ******

Tasting blood as once again I try to block any noise from escaping my lips, again another snap comes down against
the other ******,
Back arches as sounds of pain escape
Every muscle draws tight waiting for his displeasure to be made clear

His voice coos a soft deep tone in the ear
Gasping as warmth spirals outward through my body
Arms pulled high above crimson curls
Secured as a squeak sounds as curves are stretched
First one foot then the other is separated and captured
The leather closes around each ankle

"I asked you earlier are you a good **** or bad?"
Mind reels as his voice sends waves of heat through me
Afraid to speak I wait, barely breathing
Sudden pressure then pain fills throbbing *******
Crying out "Good, I am good Sir!"
Something wet and cold surrounds both burning *******
The pressure releases

"Yes yes I know you are a good girl"
My lips form the words but my mind shuts down that action fast.  
"I bet you wonder why and how you came to be here?"
Nodding elicits a "good girl, I see you are learning quickly."
"This pleases me that you have not forgotten"

My mind searches the voice, the smell, and mannerisms
Something familiar but what
Hands suddenly seem to touch everywhere at once
Soft mews fill the air
His hands play my body like they belong
Fear gone chased by pain mixed with pleasure

Strips of leather kiss the arched back
Over and over, every millimeter of flesh is struck
Hands pull tight upon restraints
Air caresses moisture drenched thighs
Another implement of leather begins to alternate with the first

Pounding skin leaving behind red streaks of heat
Mind reeling at the intensity
Never having felt this before, or have I?
Tears soak flushed cheeks
The whistle of the flogger being flicked just before striking
Knees buckle throwing weight on shackled arms

No longer does the ability to reason exist
Only the moment
My body singing to the Flogger's tune
Most people would not understand this feeling
Driving upward from deep within
Each strike pushing higher

Perspiration covered hair stuck to my face and neck
Seems like this has gone on forever
Pressure building, body burning
Yearning for that pinnacle
Fear replaced by need
Thoughts replaced by desire

The tails touch grows harder, less rest between
Bursts of breath catch in my lungs
Suddenly all is still
Right at the edge of exploding
Nothing, except pounding in my head
Throbbing **** and electric fire all over

"You will *** for Me ****!"
His voice out of nowhere makes me jump
Resending exquisite pleasure mixed with something
hotter,
"Yye yes S ssSir" seems to trip from someone else's lips
One fluid motion so fast

Hands fall from above fiery curls
A firmness is pressed against my abdomen
Hair flows down as blood rushes into cheeks
No time to come down from the licking flames
His hand cups the curve of my ***
Jumping away from the hand seems like a sucker punch to my stomach

Smack! Smack! Smack!
Repeats over and over
Hips jump left then right, up then down
The heat roars through the half moons
His breathing is labored
Seeing the crimson color wash away Lilly white
Writhing beneath His hand

I hear screaming, pathetic cries
Release building as moisture becomes running wetness
Nothing coherent any longer
Just flames of heat and need
Fingers invade my soaked petals
Quickly gripping my swollen pearl
Squeezing and twisting as one word makes it through the chaos
"***!"

Reason be gone I did
Harder than ever in a very long time
Letting go of the frigidness
All the anger, tension, sadness
Spiraling out with that release
Bucking against His hand, the bench beneath me
Hoarse screams fill my ears
Still unable to figure whose

He squeezes and releases the pearl over and over
Each time striking my core
Body juices flow like water down my thighs
Tears follow down my cheeks as lips taste the salt
I feel His fingers release my ****
Gasping for air to fill my lung
Exhaling harshly as His jeans push against my raw ***

Muscles tremble as I realize it was my screams
My hoarse voice, blushing as the entire situation unfolds
Nothing left, emotions spent, strength sapped
His body pressing into mine as fingers pull the blindfold free
Unable to see Him still
He pulls my hair up and emerald greens catch a glimpse
"Oh my God!"  Trembles begin anew as flesh aches
"It can't be." I begin to struggle

Every move drags materials over raw skin
He waits for everything to catch up
Turning me over, bound hand press against His chest
Eyes still closed denying sight of what is truth
Arms of steel lift me up, flushed skin marries a cool sheet
That gentle touch returns to cup my face, thumb pushes away the tears

Opening my eyes, finally meeting His grey ones
A million questions bounce around my brain
Soothing voice says "in due time Mine in due time"
The One was back, why, how and all the other questions had to wait, for now He was back
Feeling the warmth of His fingers massaging lotion into my skin, each mark rubbed well

A loving kiss placed to my lips
My body covered in a cocoon of comfort
He was back
My world was right again
Eyes closed as I drift off to sleep
Last thoughts praying this was real and not a dream
An exquisite dream it would be but needing it to be real

Leaving you all to ponder if when I awaken
Is He with me?
Or
Did I dream a wicked night of delight?


Written by Jennifer Humphrey. All rights reserved

Silk blocks my ability to see
Soft pads circle my ears shutting me into silence
Music begins to flow coursing through my body
Jumping as hands grasp slender ankles
Fur circles one then the other
Turned around and around so disoriented
A hard bump knocks at the back of my knees
Buckling and graze the chilled feeling they land upon
Gasps escape parted lips
Melodic music seems to beat forcefully with each movement
Chills flow through naked flesh

A voice reverbs in my ears
"Are you nervous ****?"
"Y-y-eees" trembles out thinking it had to have sounded like some little girl instead of the mature woman kneeling here
Morose tones begin to play
Calloused palms greet soft ones
Pulling quick and efficient succulent flesh lays across
a thick padded cushion

The drums beat frantically, I realize it is my heart beat
No music playing last the time, my breathing comes through rushed paniced
Inhaling deeply filling lungs then blowing out forcefully
Soothing frazzled nerves, repeating the breath
Hands separate, one wrapped in something unsure what
then the other, they are pulled straight out
Allowing ample globes of blush coated tips to reveal to any that watch

Crying out at the forceful pulling,  rearranging of limbs
Thoughts run rampant scrambling calm with slight fear and confusion
Body jerks as the apparatus moves beneath my spread flesh
I feel my belly tight as muscles **** and pull tight and repeats
Crying out as booming dark music explodes in my mind
The movement jerking beneath again
Unable to fathom how I look I feel a breeze slither over pale half moons
Finger run along the inside of the restraint as something pulls it further away from the other, then repeated
Chill air hits my heated moist ***** sending goosebumps all over

My body fully supported arms up with back arched exposing glorious flesh
Legs parted wide as waist is supported by the bench
"Who do you belong to"? He asks.
" No Ones"
A slice of fire then a second close by erupts pain across the backside
Teeth sink deep into my lower lip as the same words come through the headset
Senses impaired heighten every syllable
Still ******* air from the first blows as four reign down upon my  
arched back, tasting blood as teeth cut through plump skin

Thick fingers grasp the hairs upon nether lips yanking
Digits knead the skin of my *** soothing the first marks
Feeling the tug on hairs again, squirming as the moisture flows the cavern, body begins to move
Yet again "Who do you belong to?"
"Myself" I say proudly
Again heat, white hot, kisses thee skin
One, two, three, four, five
Labored breathing panics me
Fingers grtip and knead the marks, it is not pleasurable but it hurts not either

Thin pieces dance across my body
I figured out it had to be as flogger
He was an expert, especially with this contraption leaving everything but my stomach bottom of thighs urtterly exposed to the wicked implement
The tongues begin touching all over as I strain to hear and see
Nothing but blackness and morrocan drums playing tribal beats
Lightly stroking, followed by searing bolts of lightening touch silk flesh,
Breathing raggedly, gasping for air, pressure building in the pit of my stomach

As the flogger hits every piece of exposed white
Fingers massage puffy lips that swell to protect the golden pearl
Not hearing him he chuckles knowing he has me
Thump goes the flogger, chains clank as I squirm
Pressing towards his hand wanting to be touched that special way
Pleading escapes, I cringe knowing I have made that mistake
Something slides into my throbbing center, stretching my walls
I know I am soaked as I feel pinches against flogged streaked skin
"Please" I cry
Again he asks "Who do you belong to?"
I form the y sound suddenly changing to once again "Myself"

The implement is left inside my love tunnel
Vaginal walls gripping and releasing
My breath catches hard in my throat as something cool
bites hardened peak,
Breath let's out with a loud moan as the other peak is trapped in the vice grip
Hair is cinched tight pulling the upper body up more
The clamps bite harder
He turned my head towards his as lips touch I feel an excruciating heat soar through my succulent peaks
Tears flow across cheeks gliding down until we both taster the salt

His teeth sink into my lip as the hand twists the chasing, the other the chain to the clips torturing my *******
My velvet reaches out to run across the teeth
He releases the bite as our tongues clash like symbols
***** throbs as it struggles to not drop the object
Pressure still building, traitor body plays to his tune
Rejecting nothing
Balking not at all
Wanting, needing, yearning for this
Our tongues dance as he pulls and releases that murderous pleasure wreaking havoc over the numbing rosebuds
Fiery locks are released
Fingers remove the implement deeply embedded in my sweet honey
Digits slide deeply into my well
Pushing against them yearning for deeper

I feel the pumping in and out
Each ****** grows harder and goes deeper
My hair being used as an anchor
Burning the scalp as it pulls
He must be able to hear the music as each move is punctuated with the caressing noise
The headphones are removed relief flows over as I can hear

He whispers "Who do you belong to?"  He asks again
I feel his fingers pull out causing a sense of loss
Something presses sat my entrance pushing lightly
Trying to glide over the honey
Lifting on tip toes pushing back
Feeling the thick mushroom push into their tight entrance
Gasping for air as he growls loudly trying to fight plundering
Needing my answer first
The tip teasing me without mercy
Pulls and releases my hair

I feel something strange being smeared in my thick juice
The warm presses against my clenched puckered hole
Crying out as he teases both orifices
My body strains tight like a bow drawn for firing
"Please oh please **** me, take me"  
I feel both openings being pushed against more
Knowing he won't do much more unless I give in
He pushes the egg deep into my tight ***
Cries of pleasure float over the music still playing in the room
His hard length still teasing the slippery tunnel
Leaning over pressing my body hard against the contraption
Growling out "Who do you belong to?"
You! You! You!
His **** rams home plundering my overly taut well
Buried to the hilt my cries louder than the night

He begins to move in Ernest
Taking and consuming His
My body being played like a well oiled machine
Slamming into me, our bodies slapping
Skin to skin
Pressure building faster as I was already close to exploding
He knows I am close
Salt from the sweat drips into my mouth
His hand yanks the egg from my *** starting the spasms
Rippling over his rock hard length
His growl rumbles within vibrating upon my back

Pace grows faster, frenzied
I feel juices dripping down my thigh
My love tunnel overflowing with essence
Crying in frustration I scream harder
The machine moves as he pumps in and out
Loud moans flow out as the movement let's him go deeper

The music is crescendoing cannons errupt
As he plunders the chain is suddenly ****** based
A reaction like dominmos begins
Hips buck against his as sdpasms caress his ****
Floods of honey burst free coating his implement
Flowing down my thighs as the explosion rocks through my body
Riding every ****** as his teeth sink into my neck
The shooting **** hits my wall spewing until empty
Laying against my body, his sweat mixing with mine

Both breathless and satiated for a spell
Blindfold and restraints removed
Lifting me up as my legs give out like they were jello
Cradling my head to his chest
He lays me upon silk
Eyes close as lethargy begins to settle
Soothing ointment is rubbed into red stripes
"Sleep Mine". He whispered
" Yes Master" she says sleepily

A smile crosses his rugged features
Finally he had pushed past that wall
She is Mine he thinks
I won't let her forget, took way to long for her to admit
Next time perhaps he would try a cane
Moving her on through
The joys of pleasure and pain

Ssussh sssussh sssussh
Fingers glide gently over
Flesh revealed
Sssussh sssussh thump
Muscles draw taut
Then relax
Sssussh thump thump
Thumb presses against a full lip
Squeezing, release
Thump thump thump
The lip is twisted tight
As other fingers graze naked flesh
Ththump ththump ththump
Warmth gathers in her belly
Chills rise like dew on a rose petal
Thrrummp thrrump thrruump
Hand slides across the swell of the breast
Hard ended tip feel trapped in a burst
Of scalding heat
Tonn ton ton ton ton
Loud moan escapes parted lips
Suddenly the other tip is awash in wet heat
Followed by red hot lava
Tic tic tic tic tic
Curve of the hip caressed by the palm
Moans, mews, and pants are heard
Tic tic tic tic tic tic thump thump
Digits slip across bare wet lips
Teeth nip, bite,  mouth suckles, tongue bathes
Ta ta ta tictic ta ta tictic
Long legs part, opening to the probe
Calloused tips probe tight dripping tunnel
Ththump ththump ththump
Pelvis rotates and rises meeting roughness
Wanting more, needing more
Ththump ththump ththump
Teeth release the rosebud finding soft sweet lip
Pressing deeply into the tunnel, tongue slides across
Pouty flesh
Dundum dundum dundum
Beads of perspiration flow down cheeks, neck
Tongues collide like swords in battle
Dadum dadum dadum
Calls, cries, screams, pants swallowed by swords
Fingers digging deeper pushing up in the tunnel
Du du du du
Harder, faster, pushing, biting, extending, reaching
Mouth releases suddenly biting hard upon the ******

Spasms rock entire body, waves flood the tunnel
Tongue licks over the bite as ears savor the sweet screams
Hips continue to rock riding unbelievable forces

Heartbeat begins to thump again as it seemed to stop
Breathless as lips touch hers once again
Bodies entwined in bliss
Sssussh sssussh sssussh

All rights reserve:  Jennifer Humphrey

How can one describe feelings
One's that are abnormal to most
Desolation,  despair, anguish, isolation

Feeling awkward and alone in life
Even with family close by everyday
Darkness, gut wrenching pain, anxious,

Smiling yet never feeling it to one's heart
Laughter not reaching the eyes
Loving not feeling loved

Dreams unfulfilled
Arms embrace my newborn
Mourning fills my head

Overwhelming emptiness permeates every cell
Music plays the notes bring tears
Screaming within as hysteria joins the tune

All around friends and family celebrate
Heavy weight threatens to crush
Begging for relief from the oppression

Red heart clear like the perfect diamond
Swarms of black invade overpowering the light
Warmth obliterated by cold

Unrelenting tears beneath the covers
Breath held hiding the sobs
Not wanting him to hear

Love circles trying to break through
Self reflection denying any joy
Happiness, freedom, carefree needed

How can one feel these things with so many caring
Desolation, depravity, bitterness
All consuming death grip on the soul

Thoughts of regret, self doubt, undeserving fills her
Heart raging against all the blackness
He holds her tightly

Arms wrap around pulling tight and close
Willing the feelings to flow from one to the other
Joy, fulfillment, calm,

As the arms squeeze tighter
I love you fills the air over and over
Tears dry, warmth conquers chill

Love, happiness, goodness, light
Caring, sharing, oneness,
Ice shatters, light bursts through
Finally love conquers the desolation

She feels alive
Safe, loved, open to life
Storm clouds of loneliness dissipate
Leaving behind clear skies

Lastly

HAPPINESS

Written by Jennifer Humphrey 10/13/2014

A young woman closing in on independence
Like it is a dreadful thing
Other young women
Excited, mesmerized, elated by the sense of freedom
She can taste the separation like food

Sadness permeates the flesh of youth
Spreads into the arteries of life
Almost a feeling of suffocation ensues
Others happiness caresses the flesh
Spreads into the arteries singing with fire
Unable to contain the elation!

Clouds form all around as separation is coming
A time of exploration and inhibitions weigh heavily
Loneliness, isolation, and unbearable anxiety overwhelm the brain
Happiness, exaltment, and a sense of power explode inside the other

The girl enjoyed life so much until now
Parents are much older than most
Fear encases the once boisterous heart
Everywhere talk of blossoming, answering to no one
Boundaries erased, getting older, wiser, excites

Dark thoughts of being alone fill her with anguish
Parents dying before she begins to live plays on her psyche
Children not knowing their grandparents, No! Turn back time
Please she cries!
The other cares not of these things only to get out
Into the world of money, jobs, romance, parties
Parents being a chore now just having to appease them
Loving them but finally FREEDOM!!!

One leaves home feeling weight of life crushing dreams
The other so happy to get away from meddling, curfews, and eager to carve her own mark.

Which will live the better life?
Who will be happy?
Free?
Love and be loved?
Will despair turn to death or endless fulfillment?
Will elation turn to destruction and loneliness?

Do you know which is a young woman you know?

Written by:  Jennifer Humphrey  10/12/2014 copyright 2014

Beautiful                  Ordinary
Gorgeous                 Ugly
Extraordinary          Dull
Lovely                       Boring

Brooding                  Flighty
Overbearing            Naive
Monstrous               Caring
Wicked                     Innocent

Blossoming            Dying
Sultry                       Clumsy
Exceptional            Lifeless
Intoxicating           Repulsive

Revolting                Exquisite
Vengeful                 Loving
Grotesque              Radiant
Rageful                   Endearing

I can see you standing there in the dark, oh yeah
You think you are hiding, oh yeah
Blending into the darkness, oh yeah
But I can see you, I can hear you, I can feel you
Many fear you as they can't figure you out
I know what you are now oh yeah
You're a secret, a ***** secret
Cowering in the dark
Praying no one will figure you out
But I have oh yeah I have
You try to hurt as many as you can
But I won't let you, no I won't let you hurt me or mine
***** secret in the shadows you are running out of time
You keep changing, trying to slip away
Clinging to the darkness, not realizing the light keeps reflecting off your shiney black veil oh yeah
Puddles of night ooze drip to the ground leaving a trail for me
I will find you, yes you better run harder
You won't lose me, like so many others
I will find you , yes I will
Find you and decode you, getting into your head
Don't try to rest in bed because I am coming before you hurt some more
I won't let you oh don't worry I won't let you
Growing closer, getting closer, going to find you and play your game
If you are lucky you will begin to drift away.
If you are not lucky then I will be
My teeth will penetrate your evilness tearing at your dark heart
My fingers will pull off the evil veil as your black blood spews all over
You have nowhere to run now you ***** secret
Destroyer of lives
I have caught you, yes caught you, in your darkness
You thought you were safe, that no one would travel here
But oh yeah, oh yeah yes I did
You are almost dead now unable to hide your secret
If only everyone could see your make up before your minions destroy us all
They don't know what to look for, but I do oh yeah
I will keep hunting, every day, every night, until I find you all
Free the oppressed from the darkest form of evil
You the SECRET!!!!!
Written by: Niyahlove pen name of.  Jennifer Humphrey
                       August 22, 2014

Soft pads glide over silky pale flesh
Deep pools of ocean green become darker with passion
Every touch brings the storm closer to the  couple
The raven haired God like man looks over every millimeter
Her face flushes at the feelings building inside

Her black waist corsette pushes her ivory globes teasingly near
the point of spilling forth
Dark red tendrils lift off delicate cheek bones tickling her face
Her belly flutters as tiny goose bumps rise upon her arms

The soft padded fingers begin to explore this creature who has walked
right into his trap.
Long lashes lift revealing startling violet eyes
His breath catches harshly
He does not seem to realize he is under her spell as she remains in his trap

Julia's body is burning as Allen's fingers and hands weave an inferno built only by his touch
Her body responds as she feels the moisture begin to gather between her sweet petals
Trying not to move lest she give away the affect he has upon her

Allen watches her eyes noting how they seem to change to grey
His thumb slides across the bud covered by material yet
It cannot hide the obvious desire as the tender flesh hardens and a soft mewl escapes pouty lips

Julia begins to blush as her body betrays her mind
Allen chuckles at her discomfort
His hands and fingers seem to set her on fire every place they touch
She feels his knee **** gently at the apex of her thighs.
Moving slightly his knee grinds against the promise land

Flames fall back as her head follows suit
Sweet moans reach his ears inciting his passion more
Her hips move against his thigh trying to increase the friction
Allen rips the cumbersome corsette and shirt free allowing cool air
to kiss her flesh where his tongue wishes to follow

Pressure builds within the lust filled redhead, she digs nails into his shirt
pulling him closer.  
Allen's tongue swirls around first one then the other swollen bud
Dragging his teeth hard over the delicate flesh
Julia cries out as desire spins out of control.

Allen begins pulling the ****** into his feverish mouth suckling
Then biting as fingers pinch and pull the other
Julia grinds down ******* His thigh not paying attention to the moisture that stains his pants

She stiffens when she feels his hand pull her dress up allowing his fingers
to slide through her dew laden petals
The smell of need permeates the air
As his mouth continues to suckle then bite his fingers slam deep inside her
silky soaked lips

Julia's legs quiver when his fingers fill her well it is almost her undoing her screams of pleasure fill the air
Allen brings her to the edge filling her deep with long thick. fingers
Releasing her ****** he begins to kiss and nip her neck, fingers coated in honey slow down

Julia growls in frustration and he bites her neck hard just as fingers pinch her *******
She holds her breath panting as the inferno increases hotter
Both are sweating now as she begs him to allow her to fly
Allen chuckles whispering "not yet Lil *****"

She grinds down on his fingers trying to take what she wants
He is wise to her movements stopping abruptly until she realizes he
won't continue unless she stops

Suddenly out of nowhere she is turned over his lap where he brings his hand down ten times fast and hard cross her ***
His  knee lined up so each swat digs into her wetness
Crying out she bites her lip willing herself to not release

He pushes her to the ground and starts biting the tender buds while pulling and twisting that hardened flesh that has swelled past it's hood
Pace becomes faster as he growls in her ear to **** his fingers
She does so with wild abandon

His teeth bite down ******* her neck licking the area he bites
His fingers curve up as she grinds
Allen growls out NOW as his mouth finds her lips
Crushing them to his, catching her screams of pleasure
Her well explodes in spasms gripping his fingers hard enough to break

Julia quivers all over from the massive release, blushing as she remembers
her response to all he did
Allen drags His well manicured nails across her blistered half moons
Hearing her moan loudly, knowing he could send her spiraling just by spanking her once more.

Julia ducks under fiery curls trying to escape his scrutiny
Allen knows what she is up to and pulls the silky curls away
Lifting his soaked hand from between gorgeous thighs
Placing fingers between their lips kissing sand licking her juices off
The taste on his lips brings a feeling of decadence through Julia

They will meet again Allen said
Julia watched as he left her there hearing a car start
Now nothing but silence and the smell from her traitorous body

Whispering to the darkness
"Please return to me soon"


Written by:  Jennifer Humphrey
May 23, 2013

From a distance I watch her
Wind whips the long mane around shapely curves
The waterfall in front of her disrupts any sound
made byst me
First the cotton frock falls to the rocks
Followed next by a chemise

Frustrated to no end
I can nay see that succulent flesh
Seconds seem like hours
As the petticoat is removed

Sharp intake of air almost chokes me
The skin is  exquisite
From my stance it seems to glow
Watching as hair is pulled off one shoulder
Such glorious beauty

I must wonder if she knows
Knows? Knows what you may wonder
If she realizes
Can she see it in the eyes of many beholders?

Her body is tantalizing
Curves riveting
Tresses encircling
If I were closer I know those eyes
They would be the most splendid of any in the universe

The mane of blonde hangs past her rounded hips
My body responds intimately to hers
I feel my heart quicken and skip beats
Palms grow moist
Manhood throbs

She turns around startled like a doe at the snap of a twig
Yet she can nay hear or see me
I curse myself over and over
Turn around, don't watch
Yet I can not, no I will not

She steps into the water
Her heart shaped bottom soon becomes covered
I can hear my breath as it comes and goes in short bursts
Watching as the arch lifts her ******* high in the air
Head moves under the water

Oh my God!
She is an enchantress
Must be, No woman has ever affected me so
There is no way I can walk let alone ride my horse
All I can do is just watch enthralled

My mind wanders as I begin to have a conversation with her
"You are most beautiful"
"Your skin of golden peach"
"Hair of spun silk"
"Do you know how magnificent you are?"

"OUCH!" as something takes a bite of my shoulder
"**** horse"
Deep blue pools refocus on the gorgeous creature in the river
Mounds of brown tips stand so perfectly round
Hands reach out cupping, almost feeling the flesh there

Watching from a distance she leaves the water
I wait for her to dress before mounting my steed
His movements are as graceful as hers
He closes the distance 100 ft
50 ft
30ft
10ft basically on top of her

I jump to the ground  
Grasping her shoulders, clothing damp from her bath
Boldly gripping hair and tilting her back
My stern lips capture her pliable soft ones
No fighting from her
Taking the kiss as much as I

Suddenly, our tongues meet
Molten lava fills my staff
It throbs, filled with the rush of blood
I having never had a woman do this to me
Wondering what she is thinking
The kiss intoxicating like the sweetest liqueur

Stopping the kiss before I take her here
My senses having left my brain leaving my body in control
Finally I see her eyes as they open and look deeply into mine
They are heart stopping
The deepest clearest green ever seen

Lips part to say something
Neither of us speak
Lips meet once more and break
A loud noise interrupts the trance

A burly 7ft man
Profanity is all I hear
A nice leather whip snaps in the air
My dream is gone that fast

I wake, to the loud sound of cracking whips
Thundering hooves
Realizing it was all just a dream
She was nay real

Jumping up and mounting my horse
I rejoin the group rounding up mustangs
A sadness consumes my soul
Thinking I had finally found her
My life's mate

Sighs as we pass the waterfall
My dream just out of reach


Written by :  Jennifer Humphrey all rights reserved. Please do not post elsewhere or try to make this your own for it is copyrighted.

The night is so cold
Stars so bright
Can almost reach out and touch them

Moon magnificently round
Seems to touch the trees
Want to climb them and dance on the moon

The leaves have fallen
Yard full of glorious golds, reds and burnished brown
Watching the children jump into freshly raked piles

Smoke escapes from the chimneys
The smell of burning wood almost delicious
Imagining the heat

A walk down the street
Wind blows caressing your cheeks
The chill at the end brings on the goosebumps

Hearing people say this is the best time of year
I nod thinking to myself
Just being here with you is the best time for me

Standing on the porch inhaling the chill air
Deja Vous so thick I can taste it
Your arms on my shoulders caressing pulling close

I hear the whisper of the leaves
Or is that your voice
"Together forever my love"

Warmth consumes me
All seems right with the world
Tranquil and serene

Eyes wander to the moon once more
"Can you see it?" I whisper
"Footprints where dancers danced"

Nothing answers me
A horn blows and the dance ends
So vivid I could hear, smell and taste it

All gone now
Forever ending as quickly as it began
No witnesses except the eyes on the Moon

Darkness to Light

That night there was a horrible accident
He could feel himself fading into blackness
Now he is in the dark
Alone?
Nay I say there are many around him

He can hear them but not see due to the inky film
Whispers heard
Touches felt
He strains to awaken
Unsure of what is going on

He hears the crying and feels the tears upon his flesh
"Why are they crying" He says to himself
"I am here"
"I haven't gone anywhere"

Dreams overtake the voices
Seeing all his friends leaving notes on his page
"They think I am not here but I am"
"I can see how loved I am"
He sees the light this brings to the darkness

He can hear the prayers as each one is written
Light piercing through each time
Fight Ommos, Come back to us He hears
"I am trying" He says wishing they would hear

So dark, yet so comfortable
To awaken will bring pain
For now the darkness is helping
He tries to explain to us

It is darkest before the light
Energy and light are being sent
From all over the world
To a young man laying in darkness

We pray he awakens
Begging that God will bring him the healing light
Letting him out of the darkness
Please lord let him give a sign

Lord he is well loved, Ommos
You do not need him yet
He has so much more to do here
Allow the darkness to lift
Let us see our friend again

Hearing our prayers is the easy part
Feeling our energy is easy as well
Ommos you must fight and show a sign
We can only keep pestering you and we will
Until you awaken and come laugh and play with us once again

___________________
­


Niyahlove all rights reserved

A friend does not judge
Are around even when they don't want to hear it anymore
Provide a shoulder to cry on when one says they are not going to cry
Encourages you to get yourself together and stand strong

They do not tell you it will get better, hang in there, others have it rougher than you
There is no judgement ever on mistakes you continue to make
If you are getting down trodden they are there to pick you up
When you are being attacked a friend defends your honor

When the chips are down and all you do is cry
That friend doesn't care, but lifting your spirits becomes priority
If they are true they tell you what is so amazing about you
They respect boundaries and offlimit conversations

when you are about to truly mess up
It isn't told to the whole world
You receive a short note telling you to get your head out of your @##
Explaining why they say such a thing

A friend does not take advantage of your feelings
You do not have to worry about gossip because it won't show up
There is always a mass amount of comfort offered
Causing you to feel safe even when your world is imploding

Most of all they ask nothing in return
They give from their heart and soul to help you make it
Trying to teach you new ways to cope and that there is more to life than whatever is bringing you down
When doing all this they never make you feel like you are a charity case

In the end after building you up
They are still there
To lend an ear to your happiness, joyfulness, sadness and pain
Most of all to catch you if you fall

A friend doesn't leave you just because you are better
They are there for the long haul
They are there forever

Written by JH all rights reserved

Fair Warning this does contain explicit language and ****** content if you are under the age of 18 please click exit, If you are offended by ****** prose please don't read this one either......LOL


Meet Me at the Holiday Inn  He said

she of course said yes without hesitation

Make sure to check in a room in the back He said

He did not want anyone disturbing their time
Nor for anyone to hear the noises that might sound disturbing to some

her body quivered as He explained why a room in the back

she would never defy Him, it was not in her nature to do so

every part of her just ached to please Him to make Him happy

When you get in the room leave it unlocked and undress I want you ready for me as soon as I arrive

her heart hammered hard, pale flesh went crimson, nerves were causing her to fidget and He hated fidgeting

I can't wait to see you naked waiting for me

Your pale bountiful flesh bare of clothing waiting for my eyes to roam from top to bottom and back up again

How does that make you feel girl?  He asked

Very uneasy but excited to, afraid, desired, wanting  she said

His laughter was unmistakable He knew the effect He had on her and He reveled in it, He got tremendously hard just thinking about the power He exhorted over her

Oh god, how am I to undress and wait for Him to enter the room, what if He waits an hour before coming in, I will die from embarassment and desire all mixed together

You are my good girl aren't You ****?  He asked quietly

Yes I am  she responded

The conversation ended and she began to dress with care unsure why as she was just going to remove it anyway

Having showered, pulling the razor blade over the flesh between silky thighs, making sure no hair or stubble was present

See she knew He just might have a piece of duct tape that He would place between the cheeks of her *** and pull just to see if she shaved everywhere He desired

Her hands moved steadily along the crack, her juices were already flowing from the heat of the shower, thoughts of Him at the hotel, His voice a few moments ago

The pleasure nub at the Y section of her petals was throbbing dying to be touched, yet she knew better, to touch without His permission could land her in big trouble, shuddering at the thought

Fingers slid between the succulent petals making sure they were smooth, washing with the sweet aromatic soap moving up her body over the large globes of ivory with the pale areolas, ******* hard already

She was going to lose it before ever getting to her destination

The phone rang and she nearly jumped out of her skin

You finish Your shower girl?

Yes I did

Did you get excited and remember I always know when you lie?

Yes I got excited but I stopped myself from relieving the ache

Very good girl, You have come a long way I am very  pleased

Are you still naked from the shower?

Yes just drying off

Get the 8 inch toy I bought you and lay on the bed

Her heart beat so hard she thought it would burst from her chest
Doing as ordered, grabbing the 8 inch vibrating ***** that filled her so tightly that it almost hurt

Lay down on the bed my girl

Securing the door, svelte flesh lay upon the soft bedding, hard tipped globes ached, as well as the nub between the shaved rose petals, even her *** throbbed

Where should we play today my little *****?

Anywhere, it matters not, just pleasee take this ache away  

He chuckled knowing she was dripping wet by now, she was His little waterfall, always wet just at the thought of Him or the sound

Pinch your ****** hard and make sure I hear you

Awwwww yesssss!!!

He began to give her quick instructions moving things rather quicker than usual

Harder girl, slide your other hand around that hard ****, begin rubbing it fast

Moaning loudly as her fingers fluttered over the pleasure nub like a butterfly kissing a flower, other fingers pinching and pulling upon the hard ******

Hurry girl I thought you said you were dying of need

Ohhhhh I am I am pleaseeee don't stop

He chuckled at that she was going to be a delight this night, He just might not let her get dressed for a few days and let her sleep with Him buried deep inside her

Release the ****** and get the toy, spread those thighs wider, I want you to take the toy deep inside your tight wet tunnel all at once and all the way

His **** was hard and He began to stroke it in earnest as her sounds were maddening to Him, man her voice was like a **** siren, He already had the first drop of moisture revealing itself from the tip

Ohhhhhh YESSSSSSSSSSS, ahhhhhh, pleaseeeeee, moreeeee oh pleassseeee

You know what to do **** yourself hard without mercy but don't your release unless I say so

She was already close before He said to use the toy harder and faster, biting her lower lip hard to keep herself from exploding, ramming the silicone **** deep into her silky wet folds, she could feel the dripping honey between her *** cheeks knowing that area would no longer be virginal after tonight, shivering as the pressure began to build

He continued to move His large hand up and down, hell yes this **** drove Him wild how He got so lucky to find her He had no idea but she was His and He intended to make sure she knew it in every way tonight

Her well was so tight around the toy, but it slid in deep an easy due to her soaking wet desire

Moaning louder, she began to beg, and plead, oh pleasee let me release, I can't hold it much longer, pleaseeee I am begging you

Nope not yet He chuckled

Ohhhhhhhhh nooooo pleaseee, whimpering and whining as the pressure increased driving her mad with desire

His hand moved up and down as images of her tight *** wrapped around His thick length filled his brain, ahh oh yeah mmmm He could hear the ***** going in and out from the wetness surrounding it which further incited His imagination.   Mmmmm yes that tight ***** and then He was claiming that cherry ***

she was sweating holding back, oh pleassse she thought as her mouth let screams of pleasure, whining, and whimpers escape, hips lifting off the bed meeting the toy ****** after ******  

He felt his **** hardening to where He could have hammered a nail into a board, and suddenly He could feel it ready to explode

Now ****!!! and don't you hold back on me

Ohhh yes!!!!

Her body bucked and muscles clamped down as fluids exploded forth from her well soaking the bed, her thighs, and draining down the crack of her ***, her screams nearly deafened Him but He did not care

Ahhh yes baby here it **** just for you oh **** oh **** **** girl

His hand tightened around His shaft a little harder as suddenly the stream of thick white cream spewed across the table where He was sitting, shooting thick goo over and over as He let loose.  Oh He so could not wait to get a hold of her

Very good girl now clean up and get your *** to the hotel and don't forget the paddle as you have a punishment yet before any enjoyment

Oh, she had hoped You forgot all about that

Oh no I remember and unless you want more added I suggest you not forget anything I have instructed of you

Unbeknownst to her after He hung up His girlfriend walked in having seen His performance and the evidence marking the kitchen table as His shaft was still hanging out of His jeans

I am going out for the weekend be back on Monday

His girlfriend nodded her head and didn't dare say a word even when He said
Oh and clean up that table no hands, rags, just your mouth*

He chuckled as He heard the sharp intake of breath, oh how He loved His women, so compliant, obedient and they never questioned His demands.  He headed out the door with His duffle bag full of things to titillate the brain and body

Sue walks in where you work
Whispers and looks not understood
Comes to see you as usual
As you are married to her

A week or so later Sue meets a new person working with you
Funny the woman looks like her
Still odd looks from people when she drops in
One day it hits her

You ****** her look alike
Only difference is she is 20 years younger
Worse than that she is a baby compared to You
Someone at worked clued poor Sue in

Everyone saw You together everyday at a lunch
Breaks, little brushups in the cooler
Married but that doesn't matter
As long as your **** is spewing twice a day

Come home expecting wifely duties
Don't touch her she screams
You offer Your most charming seduction
Fully expecting to not be turned down

Sue confronts the girl
She is but a child
Asks her if she has any morals at all
Of course she is sorry, it wasn't meant to happen

Your ***** is all you give a **** about
Not the child of Sue's ***** fathered by you
She is hurt far more than any
Teased at school

You dare ask why that is occuring
Your little ***** attends her schools church
As does her family
Does that matter to you?

You got your little **** wet
Now all you see is paradise
Not realizing the damage You have left behind

All the lives affected
Because of Your infidelity
You don't get it do you?

Your wife, daughter, her family, your family
There is more damage being done
Just so You can get ******
Enjoy Your life

You will be miserable in the end
Just don't look for any sympathy
When you find out what you lost
It won't be here then so don't bother

Lips red and moist
Others blue and cold

Eyes bright and smiling
Some veiled and void

Hair long, wavy like silk
More is chopped and feels like straw

Hands soft, caressing
Others lifeless and rough

Ample globes of rose tipped buds hard
These no longer vibrant just overabundance of flesh

Rounded hips, silky thighs,
Dried and withered skin dead

The sweet spot of dew lauden rose petals surrounding a tight wet tunnel
Wrinkled, filmy white substance almost dry, tunnel dysfunctional

Long legs that wrap around hips holding tightly pulling inward
Hairy now, hard from edema, pale blue, weak

The bright eyed *** goddess once sought after day by day
Now listless, lifeless almost, no longer wanted or needed

Each day of desire lived to the fullest
Once forgotten each day added more darkness

The **** siren with a voice of velvet honey
No longer speaks not even a spark in the eyes

A past lover arrives it has been years
Tear flows down his cheek at what has become of her

She doens't know it though
Gave up long ago
No one came by or even sent a card of hello
Mind stopped dreaming
Stopped thinking
Let go of life day by day
Body followed some thought it had to be slow
Yet it was not
Her Soul died first
Once that was gone the rest was easy

CRACK

CRACK, swish CRACK

Fingers dig into the wood she is shackled to
Screams of agony are swallowed refusing to let them hear

Hearing the thump of the leather as it hits the ground
Eyes tightly closed as her muscles draw taut
Her mind can see the large man pulling his arm back
Throwing forth the long strand of leather towards her back

CRACK
SnapCRACK
CRACK

Knees buckle as the searing pain rips through her flesh
Feels the trickle down the flesh
Can only imagine what it looks like
Still refusing to scream
Tasting the blood in her mouth from biting her tongue and lip

The men laugh at the stubborn redhead who dare tell them what she thought of how they treated women
It wasn't hard to corner the ***** and tie her to the post

Knowing she should have kept her mouth shut but having been raised to take up for those mistreated she just could not hush and now look at her

CRACK       CRACK      CRACK

Oh please make them stop as her teeth bit back the screams on her knees now, darkness edging at the corners of her brain it won't be long now

The other girls were begging her to scream to give in as they saw the rivlets of flesh being removed from her back with each crack of the whip

Malcolm was very skilled with the whip, He could slice an apple with one if he wanted but right now all he wanted was to inflict agony on this mouthy *****

CRACK

CRACK

CRACK

Finally blessed darkness overcame her as she fell limp on the post, hanging from her arms the blood was pouring out of the gashes of split skin

ENOUGH*
Finally someone with some sense intervened, Jordan the leader of this group was not happy at all seeing the condition of the girl

Cut her down at once and get her seen by a doctor

The girls ran to help remove the shackles from the strange girl's hands, she was limp like a rag doll, she felt dead

She was not dead but wished she were, perhaps that is why she pushed the man beyond his limit, she had a death wish, who knows he just may have granted it without realizing

Taken to the doctor and laid upon the table on her stomach unaware of what was happening blissful darkness

Suddenly a pain so hot it was worse than the whip that had mangled the flesh

Screaming awake tears fall over high cheeks, finally what Malcolm had wanted bursts free from her lips

The doctor continues washing out the rivers of cuts

She continues to cry not understanding how someone could do this to another person

The doctor places a salve in all the rivers of missing flesh knowing the scars here will be the worst

Jordan comes in to see the spunky girl and sees her back, shaking His head His hand reaches down and flips through her gorgeous head of hair He is still puzzled by her behavior

He watches as she drinks down the medication and collapses back to the table, she is well cared for until the doctor releases her

Called before Jordan, He asks why she became so beligerant

I came to get my friend away from you freaks
She used be just as mouthy as me until the one called Malcolm brainwashed her

Jordan just nodded His head not saying much but He did say one thing

"You really should not call us freaks because you do not understand what we are all about.  I assure you, your friend is not being held against her will nor has she been brainwashed"

My friend would not ever kneel at a man's feet and take every word he uttered as the truth.  She knows better than to be treated thus

"Never judge what you have not experienced. I wish You had come to me first before this unfortunate incident occurred.  I invite you to stay and be my guest and observe what really goes on."

She stayed and observed and spent some time with these girls that in her head were just plain loony*

In the end she found a peacefulness she could never explain to another
Something so profound and beautiful that after awhile she became one of the girls that she once called crazy

As the saying goes "Never judge a book by it's cover, read the inside first."

"Pinch the pink rose bud"*  He whispers

"ahhh mmmm"* she responds

"Harder dear one"

"ohhhoww" as the dark heat shoots through her body

"Yes that's it girl"

"Roll it between your thumb and forefinger"
"How does that feel girl?"

"Mmmss ohhh it feels so good"

"Pinch it hard now"

She cries out as the painful heat surges

"That's it, again now harder"

Calls out louder as the heat in the bud hurts but feels so decadent

"Take your other hand and slide your fingers between your rose petals"

She continues rolling the ****** as her other hand obeys His demand
Her fingers reach the nether lips and find them laden with dew
"Mmmsss" As the fingers slide through the moisture

"Slide your fingers into your well and pull forth what you find"*

Her hips lift off the bed as the fingers slip inside her tight wet well
the heat intense her tunnel soaking wet, how she wonders

"Pull it up over your little nub now and begin circling it as you continue to pinch that tight ******"

"OHHHHH ohhh yesss!!!"
It feels so good she wants to move her fingers faster but doesn't dare

"Circle Your **** round and round now pinch hard and hold it"

Gasping as she does so, her legs jump as the heat seems to stab her between her quivering thighs
Whimpering as desire washes over the ivory flesh, feeling the nectar as it flows between the cheeks of her ***

"What are you thinking girl?"

"How I wish you were here, How I want you inside of me so badly"

"Mmmm I wish I was there to girl"
"Now release your pleasure nub and begin to rub faster"

Fingers flutter over the taut nub, hips lift pushing into the fingers
Other hand continues to roll, pinch and pull the ******
He hears her moans, whines, and whimpers growing in intensity

"Lift your ****** to your mouth girl and suckle the hardness, I want to hear you, keep those fingers moving over that taut lil nub" He whispers sensually

Suddenly he can hear her mouth as it pulls upon her own ******, breathing through her nose as she ***** harder, fingers moving faster now as the passion begins to take over from his demands

"That's it girl, bite it hard as you ****, imagine my teeth against your chest"

Her scream is muffled by the large ample globe of flesh as fire shoots to her *****, nectar floods her well

"Yes my girl you sound so good, are you close" He asks softly

"Yessss" is muffled as she continues to **** and bite her bruised breast

"Rub harder girl, faster, I want to feel your release" He says firmly

Her fingers pinch and pull her **** as her mouth suckles on the breast harder pulling more of the flesh into her heated mouth

Tension builds, hotter, as body tightens, muscles grow taut, suddenly her breath holds, her body stiffens liquid shoots into her mouth from her ******, as the clear viscous fluid floods her bed

"Screaming yes oh yes oh **** yes"*  She cries

She hears him as he responds to her ******

"Yessss oh yes girl I am ******* you so hard, oh godddd yes here it
comess"

She hears him hold his breath as his body releases the slapping liquid sound is heard as her own body is still pulsating, muscles finally relaxing as fireworks still explode behind the closed eye lids

"You are so ******* hot ****, I can't wait to yank that long hair as I ram my hard **** deep into you"  He pants

"I can't wait either, I need you soon, please don't make me wait much longer" she begs

His wicked laugh is heard on the other end of the phone as He says firmly
"Now **** *** now"

Believe it or not she did, this time harder than before, thighs quivered where she could not walk, they were actually sore from the strain, she blushed at how easily he could get her to release

"It won't be long now girl, we will meet and you will feel my hand pulling those long locks as I push deep inside you, where you can taste the effect you have on me and I can taste your sweet essence"

"Oh yes I can't wait to be beneath you, on top of you, in front of you, I can feel your bites on my flesh already, I can feel your hard shaft opening me up over and over again, I can't wait"

"Yes that isn't all you will feel is it girl?"  He asked

"ummm no Sir" she shivered thinking of the sting of leather against her flesh, the feel of rope binding her tight, and the clamps all strategically placed to enhance her ******

"Sleep now My girl, naughty dreams"  He whispered huskily

"Sleep tight my Love" She responded softly
The pain scared her but she had experienced it before and the pleasure it brought was so all consuming words could never describe


****** pain can bring intense pleasure. I would suggest you not try things on your own without the guide of an experienced lifestyler.  This definitly enhances the ****** experience.  Not everyone is into it but I hope my poem did it justice

Journey forth if you dare

There is always more than one way to go

One is simple, just go with the flow
It is straight and even keeled
No bumps, twists and turns,
All green, flat, as far as the eye can see

Second is hard, you must work at it for the prize
Twists and turns,
Ruts, bumps, no visibility in places
Sometimes you can't see past your face

Third is most difficult you see
We make it that way
Harder than it has to be
Mountains are high, rivers rage, oceans pounding

Each road we take puts us on another one then another
Even the simplest can turn out to be the worst nightmare of all
The most difficult can end on easy street
We are told we pick our own road and we do
Yet there is the twist
It does not matter which of those first three you pick

Why? why does it not matter?
Because life is never simple
It is never all green pastures and rosey days
Life is sometimes harder, many times we can't decide what to do
Decisions we make put us in deep ruts that seem impossible maneuver
Other times it is so difficult we get stuck
Can go no further

I have been told  it is all in the choices you make
This is true yet it is not
Our choices affect but we are tested repeatedly in life
What do you mean? you might ask

Life is what you put into it
If you pick the easy road something always happens
A flat tire, the flu, overdrawn checking account

Pick the harder path
You might go for days without a mishap
Smooth road ahead, no problems
Suddenly the road floods

Pick the most difficult path
One day you are in hell
The next you are sailing on easy street
The choice of roads matters not

As long as you put your trust in God
Or the God of your religion
He is the one that puts the ruts, storms, and smooth sailings into your life
Trust in him to get you through the day
Sometimes when things are truly bad
You think I won't make it another day I just can't

Ask Him, Tell Him how you are feeling
He is listening even when we think He is not
If your path follows Him and you trust in Him
You will find every obstacle is conquerable
Every wave is rideable
Every mountain is crossable

Instead of thinking God hates me today
Remember He is challenging you for a reason
Strenghtening you for times to come
He knows the future we do not

Right now at this moment I write this
Because I am at my breaking point
Instead of going off the deep end
Going crazy

I bow my head
God, You are the power, the love and light in my life
Please I can't take anymore
Please I beg Your mercy
HELP ME PLEASEE HELP ME

I know in my heart and soul
He heard me and will remove an obstacle
He will send me help
A sign of some sort will arrive

Instead of saying I should have picked the other road
Simply say
HELP ME

I watched her walk the halls day after day at school
Dumpy, frumpy with a beautiful smile
The boys called her names I dare not mention
She continued to be bubbly and laugh at their taunts*

Funny though, no one though she was dying inside
Did not know every single tease tore another building block from her body
Never showing how much it hurt, the smile contageous but everyday she suffered

People would pass her in the halls and the guys would cough with some obscure name
They waited at the bottom of the stairs during lunch just so they could tease her more

She wasn't ugly not at all
Not skinny,not fat
Just above average

She would perserverate over what to wear
What would make her look her best
Each outfit would hit the floor as her own mind would say words worse than the boys could think of

She had one boyfriend
Her friends teased her so badly she gave him up
That seemed to bring the dogs on more
They thought it was fun

Everytime I saw her she smiled and laughed ignoring them
I used to tell her she was beautiful and they were just immature
Prom came around and she bought a beautiful dress
Thought for sure she would go

It didn't matter how sweet and thoughtful she was no one asked her
Why?
Because she wasn't a popular kid nor a geek
Just short frumpy Sue of a dairy farmer

She graduated with honors
The frumpy girl was replaced by a beauty
Yet she could not see it
All she could see or hear were the names those boys called

The Valedictorian speech she gave was full of promise for all
Including the ones that didn't know beauty from a hole in the wall
A few weeks later we were all gathered again
This time for her funeral as Sue had taken her own life

She left a note alright
Thanking ones by name
I wish I had done more yet she thanked me for being her friend
I guess she got the last laugh

Her note was no joke
But she made sure to point out every vile thing about those boys
Every mistake they ever made
Each embarassing thing brought them down a few more pegs

We buried her today
I gave the Eulogy
About the girl with the most beautiful smile
That reflected all she was on the inside

Magazines, movie stars, text books, and tv shows
They show the beautiful people on the outside
Teaching children that is what matters most

Teach your children beauty is from within and really has nothing to do with the outer shell
Tell them do unto others as they would want done to them
to befriend the little people whose smile or words inspire them

Most of all teach them everyone is beautiful in some way or other
So they don't have to bury their friend one day or worse yet
You don't have to bury them before their time

"Kneel My ****!"

He can't be serious she thinks to herself

"I said kneel *****"
"I am not your **** nor am I a *****"

He grabs hold of my hair twisting it hard

I try my best to stay standing not wanting to yield

He pulls my face to His, lips touch in a bruising kiss
His hands caress my body playing it until it burns with need

"NO! I can't do this", is covered by His lips overcoming the objections

He continues to touch and caress turning my flesh molten
His hands seem to know my body better than I

"I, I can't do this, please I beg you to stop"

He gets bolder knowing it won't take much longer
His lips are strong, His teeth bite my flesh viciously

Oh but the pain becomes excrutiating pleasure

Intesnity builds, His touch ******, His smell all man
His desire evident by the hardness pushing against my hip

He feels me beginning to quiver and shake
"No! No! I can't give in please don't do this to me begging profusely"

His mouth overpowers mine again absorbing my pleas as He asks, "don't do what my dear girl?"

"Don't make me give in, I have to stand strong I am not a weakling"
"Being a woman succumbing to the passion instilled by a man makes you beautiful not a weakling"

His hand roams over my body, across my *** which proves my bodies's betrayal, the moisture felt by His fingers
He brings the fingers to his lips and begins to **** on them each sound sends waves of volcanic heat through me

Body so hot, whimpering my begging to stop becomes begging not to stop
"Please don't stop, oh pleaassee!"

Laughter is heard in response

"Kneel!"

"No, No I can't, I won't"

His hand cinches my long fiery tresses harder, His teeth find a sweet spot to bite as the other hand once again shows how wet and hot I am for His touch


Tears fall from my emerald green eyes as He shows the evidence of my desire
They continue to paint my cheeks as my mind and body fight this battle of proper behavior and ultimate pleasure

"Kneel now my girl"
Unable to fight it any longer finally the words are uttered

"Yes my Master"

Taunting laughter is heard as knees fold and touch the ground, He knows He has won yet another

"Good girl ****"

It then hits me He called it right He used the powers of the flesh to prove I am a ****, wanton and free to feel

My mind screams NO while my body continues to scream over and over again yes oh yes yes

He proceeds to claim me again and again once I kneel showing me the woman that hides behind propriety*

I am happy and I am crying at the same time.  Ashamed for giving in and glowing as my body is satisfied for the first time woe is my own betrayal

The night is so cold
Stars so bright
Can almost reach out and touch them

Moon magnificently round
Seems to touch the trees
Want to climb them and dance on the moon

The leaves have fallen
Yard full of glorious golds, reds and burnished brown
Watching the children jump into freshly raked piles

Smoke escapes from the chimneys
The smell of burning wood almost delicious
Imagining the heat

A walk down the street
Wind blows caressing your cheeks
The chill at the end brings on the goosebumps

Hearing people say this is the best time of year
I nod thinking to myself
Just being here with you is the best time for me

Standing on the porch
Watching the moon as it sinks lower
Hearing the children screaming
As they play hiding go seek

Thoughts wander back to the day
Holding hands when our lips touched
A day similar to this one

Then finally spring came
You watched me walk down the aisle
There before God we made our vows

I stand here on the porch watching the moon and stars
Remembering the times not so far back
Wondering if you will ever think of them again

I watch your back
As you pick up your bags
Out the door and down the steps

The moon almost touching the trees
The stars so close
The breeze lifts my hair sending that old chill across my body

Like watching everything in reverse

I fall to my knees and ask God for his strength
Lord I am not perfect, I have never asked anyone else to be either
Please just help me stand up and take control of my life
Let me chase the demons of darkness away
Allow me to keep my cool and not hurt any involved in hurting me
Keep me sane and help me hold my head high
Help me Lord to remember I am a good and beautiful person
I have a giving and kind soul
I am worth more than any monetary value out there
Help me remember I am a good mother
Even through all of this I have been a great wife
Guide me through this Lord and help me pull myself together
Please take the humiliation I feel and replace it with contempt
Let me walk proudly in front of those that know what is going on
Keep me from using this Scotts Irish temper in a way that would compromise keeping my child
I pray for my self respect to return
Allow me to forgive those that are taking my heart away
Give me strength oh Lord, please I beg and pray for your guiding light and everlasting Love
In the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit

**Amen

The Sun is eclipsed, for how long? I do not know
It used to be warm, cheery and a source of energy
Now, just blackness, bitterness, and an ugly taste in my mouth

The darkness has been my enemy for most of my life
Unable to share the reasons this is for fear of it taking over
My dreams try to clean my mind as the inky black eats away at me

Praise, compliments, hope, prayers, and well wishes work against the eclipse
Honestly they just don't break through that evil and vile black
You might wonder why, but it is something that must be felt not told

It is soo dark the ring around the outside is blinding but it lights up nothing
Self-doubt, Self-worth, Self-esteem, feelings of being ****, desireable, all being slurped up with the thick dark energy
Words, words, words, and more words they don't begin to help

The glimmer of hope is squashed with one word from him
I have become a married girlfriend as she becomes a girlfriend wife
How ****** up is that?  Do you not see?  I cannot breathe as it suffocates me

The eclipse is not an eclipse at all it is him cuttting off all light that makes me thrive
He makes sure I am helpless to fight by making sure I am numb
It is a mind **** for sure that I cannot see

I work hard to push the thick indigo away
It is brought back with one word, or one look
Offering help with one hand as the other stabs my heart

I pray and show strength for our child
Needless to say she knows the truth and says I am not hiding it well
What the hell am I supposed to say when he leaves to go out with friends?

Her tears feed the beast that burdens me
The fears make it stronger and more overwhelming each day
It is winning can't you see?  Taking over with each passing hour

The nights I turn and reach out for him
Night after night the rock always there
Now it feels like quicksand ******* me down

I am numb, why can't I fight?  What is stopping me?
Tell him to get out they say, Make him leave
If I do that the murkiness will turn to something worse

The cimmerian shade looms day by day
His words are from a serpant's tongue trying to have it both ways
I am being consumed by something worse than incurable cancer
It is taking all of my independence and ****** self confidence away

SMACK
Yes that would sound good, as my hand met her face
I ask myself what has this world come to when a young woman's parents think it is ok for her to break up a solid family

You ******* ***** Jennifer
STOP
Tell Him to go to her and learn that the grass is always greener when all you do is play, no responsibility, no bills to pay
He is the idiot not you
He is the one breaking the vow said before God and all
Let the darkness consume him and chase it away from me*

If only I could say all of that but I love far to much
Crazy I know, as I watch the concealing darkness consume me*

Don't let this happen to you, hold on tightly and keep faith in your heart

_______________

I realize this poem does not make a lot of sense.  It is very cathartic for me.  I don't expect anyone to like it or say it is any good.  It was just something I needed to write and get out of my mind.  Thank you everyone.

Pain
Eats at my very soul

Heart beats hard exploding in my brain with each thump

Pain
No one can understand unless they have been here

My mind screams with the unfairness of it all

Pain
It eats away at your confidence in self first

I was a strong minded woman now weak without strength

Pain
It can't be described as it rips through the body

Wholes are throughout leaving tunnels along the connective tissue

Pain
Detroying that which makes me unique

Takes away my wisdom as the tunnels weaken the mind

Pain
Leaving fear in places that used to be fearless

Alone as the demons remove my self worth

Pain
Creeps its way into the heart eating at the good as well as the bad

Heart skipping beats as it begins to lose its ability to beat

Pain
Works against every positive thing one has in life

Taking away my ability to stand on my own two feet making me dependent

Pain
Chews and feeds until it overuns the mind and body

Nothing left to help me fight even my will has been chewed away

Pain
Left to finish the job as no one notices before it is to late

I cry for help yet the vileness fills my throat and mouth making it impossible

Pain
Takes everything away, then heads to the next victim

I am left lifeless, no strength, energy, no will to live, fight, or breathe,

If only I had noticed sooner when that first seed was planted
I wish I had paid more attention to the weird things I noticed
Now I can no longer survice for the pain has won

Please I beg you, do not let it happen to you
FIGHT
FIGHT
FIGHT BACK!*

Don't let it win

Don't find yourself in a huge lifeless formwanting to escape with no outlet

For heaven's sake fight for your life beat the pain take its power away

I will be buried soon and the pain will try to skip to another person
Put up your defenses around me and don't let it in destroy it while it is trapped inside of me

Pain
It is a scarey way to go, save yourself from the pain

Love that feeling of completion
A giddy happy go lucky
Overwhelming warmth
Despair when apart

Lust a need an itch
Overtakes all reason
Desire short circuits the brain
Pleasure is all you can think about

Love is emotional
A bond that is tight
Encompassing pain, pleasure,
Heart wants to explode with an ache unexplainable

Lust electricty, sparks flying
Body heated, throbbing,
A need for release
A fire fulfilled by two bodies joining

Love has it's own heat
Bodies join in a mind blowing ecstasy
More emotional than physical
The two combine are greater than just one or the other

Lust will die in time without love
When you lust someone that is all it will be
Lust disappears
It doesn't last as that is all it is ***

Love builds and grows
Sometimes it falters
Words fail at times and feelings weaken
The door opens allowing lust to enter for another

Love should conquer all
Yet it does not if it isn't fought for
Marriage is never perfect
Love can last for eternity and beyond

Lust fades like the sunset over the water
It is swallowed up becomes mundane
If you pick lust over love
I hope you find out before you are to late

To late for what you might ask
I would say before the one that loves you gives up
Love will persevere but not forever
Love has its own lust rekindle it before allowing your eyes and
your hands to wander

Which do you think is better
To know love without lust?
To have lust without love?
Me? I want to have my love and lust with just one

Mommy, Mommy it is dark in here
It will be ok my loving girl

Why is it so dark Mommy?
Just the way it has to be for now honey

I don't understand Mommy
The light will show itself soon baby

I am scared Mommy, (cries) Mmmommmy
Shhhh baby, my sweet child it won't be long now

Plleeasse Mommy don't leave me I am scared
I know you are love, I am right here

The darkness is thick I can taste it
I know she can as I can't even see her outline
Her little heart is thumping so fast and hard
The fear in her voice is squeezing my heart

We are trapped in this blackness
At least we are together my child and I
Oh how she should not be here with me
How could I leave her though, behind I mean

She suffers more than me
Yet the darkness is squeezing
It's fist tightens against my lungs
Smothering, attempting to take the last breath

Hearing her cry, whimper and pleade
Scared of this inky blackness
Short quick breaths between words
Praying that god spares her

Wondering how we got here
What has occured to cause this
I simply cannot remember
Yet it is right there on the edge of my mind

Reassurances getting harder to give
Her voice drips with fear
Hugging the little body close to mine
Huge tear drops paint my cheeks

Rocking back and forth
Humming a tune
Feeling the stickiness on my chest
Pain so excrutiating not sure which is worse

Fire with every breath
Having covered her as the sounds stopped
I can feel a different darkness overcoming me
Blood smell fills my nose

Only thoughts were in saving her
Praying she does not pay for my sins
Wishing, hoping then praying
Take me Lord but please spare her

A fight out of control
Ended as the man began firing shots
Dumped in the middle of nowhere
In this darkness

Not able to see if my darling babe has injuries
Suddenly the moon begins to peek from behind it's hiding place
Just enough to see her beautiful pale face
The light becomes stronger

Mommy it's beautiful, I am not afraid now
It is incredibly lovely my love

Cradling her close to me the light is like nothing I have ever seen
Pain has ceased
We are floating you see
I press lips to her cheeks as I speak my last breath

I love you my darling
Mommy I love you

Our eyes close as our bodies go limp
When we are finally found in time
They will see the holes from bullets in my chest
One went through me and into my babe

Who would do such a thing? How did this happen?
It won't matter to me now
As my baby and I are resting peacefully
The Angels ended the darkness

Bathed in light we were taken to the Lord
He could not spare her though I prayed
I watch the people tears in their eyes
Hearing their thoughts of sadness and surprise

They say he snapped, my aunt said
Are you sure? my mother asked
Yes, He didn't want to let her go
Shot her and hit the babe by accident

I watch as the caskets are lowered into the cold ground
The angels around me and my daughter
Comforting and consoling us
Feels so wonderful here

Mommmy! Mommy! I am not scared anymore!*
Neither am I my love neither am I

Sometime in the distance I heard it told
"He was caught and will pay his due"

I curled up with my darling baby doll
Drifting to sleep for the last time
We my baby and I are at peace
I kiss her one last time

Rest now my sweet love
We are safe in the loving arms of the Lord

We watch the horrid things of Our world
Faith we are told is our only hope
Yet how can people suffer so
Faith in God the Father will reveal all

I see the blind, the hungry,
The wars, racism, treachery
Faith says answers will be shown
I sit and wonder if Faith is really all that is needed

Then it hits me
Faith indeed
For it feeds if you believe
It clothes, cures, helps one endure
Faith alone is our path

To me life on this earth is our hell
Faith tells me another place
That heals and closes all bad things
Heaven is our second life
For this life is surely purgatory for most

For those that live in heaven here
Faith if you believe
Will deliver you to an even better frontier
Faith says it all

Don't tell me you love me
I just don't want to hear it anymore

Don't tell me you need me
I can't help you again

Don't tell me you want me
I won't keep listening to your lies

Don't tell me to stay
I have watched you walk away far to many times

Don't tell me she doesn't matter
I wish she did not but if not for her we would be ok

Don't tell me you made a mistake
I know you will just turn around and repeat it

Don't tell me you want another chance
I can't trust you for round two

Don't ask my forgiveness
I already gave it and you tossed it away

Don't ask to come back to my bed**
I knew hers would not be comforting

I look into my daughter's angelic eyes
Filled with hurt, misunderstanding, and frustration
Wishing I could make everything ok for her
Praying every moment of everyday

My little girl
I am so sorry you are being put through this hell
Know you are scared and unsure
My love will never change for you
Please don't worry

Silent tears she hides from everyone
Tries to make her daddy feel all is well
Attempts to make peace between us
Knowing it doesn't work

Walking around on eggshells
Afraid to do anything to make him angry
Thinking he will just leave if she does
I tried to tell him

She comforts me though right now there is no such thing
I comfort her, explaining  it will be ok
Huggs closely, whispering positive thoughts

If only the one would go away for awhile
Let things be
Everywhere we turn she is there
who is affected most

I would say me, but not its our little girl

I want to yell "he is mine back off'
If I thought it would help god I would do so
No ammuntion
she has it all

How do I compete?
What do I say?
Wishing answers would suddenly appear
Yet knowing it is impossible

Little girl its not your fault
Its mommy's and daddy's
We will pay everyday for the rest of our lives
Rest easy all will be better soon

How do I give you happiness
All you see is anger and sadness
I pray god will give me a sign
Some help
To help me raise my daughter

Screams are tormenting my brain
I so badly need to let it out
It cannot be
No

Trying to keep it together
Not showing the slashes inside
Rivers of cuts
Drowning me

Screams tear at my insides
Wanting to come out
Needing a place to escape
Lost in the pooling blood
Edges becoming black

Head pounds
No more stimulus can be handled
Nothing else can I take
Another ounce of pressure will break me

Screams, Screams, Screams**
What else can I do
Stifling then noise
Sitting on the pain
The darkness is coming

Feel faint as I cough
Gurgling as the blood pours
Gasping for air
Wanting nothing more than to

S
C
R
E
A
M

Still unable to let it out
Consumed by the fear, anxiety and pain
Laying against the bed
Face blue, sheet red

Finally the scream released
But only to find my death

Heart tormented throughout the age
Seeing nothing but destruction
Cruelty the best of the worst
Scarred for life
By a mother's emotional abuse

Never feeling comfortable around men
Afraid of anything more indepth than ***
Finding a nonjudgemental man
Thinking to repairing the past
Unknowingly mimics the mother

Finally swept away off the feet
Married, optimistic of the future
A child born early
New mother now turns the page
Happy as can be

Hormones a woman's curse
Cause heartache and despair
Mixed with the abuse of the past
Trying to over come
Badly, wanting to be good

Years pass by like rain
Flooding the family as it grows
No desire felt, yet in love for sure
Lost, scared
Self preservation reigns high

Sins of the mother passed down
Sharp tongue, quick wit
Cutting deeply through the love
Wants despartely to want, need
Tries to hang on to give not take

Illness prevails
Striking down
Hormones and desire all put aside
Attempts to reach out
Just cannot

You stop trying and give up
It gets worse
Make it stop mommy
Don't leave Daddy
Tear paint the canvas

Have I been so cruel
Ungiving and cold
Cirumstances piling up
Body becoming older

Beggs and pleads to try to fix
Isn't just a cold hearted woman
A beautiful soul inside
Just needs nourishment
Don't turn away

Don't toss tthis lifeaway
Not into the trash
Try harder
Meet a quarter of the way
Whatever you decide

Please Don't  turn away

Til Death Do Us Part

Yes that is what we said that day
Oh so many moons ago
So much has occurred
Death, illness, a child, career ended

Yet today vows seem to mean less
They used to be the foundation
Now they seem to be just a memory
Words not said should be said

You were supposed to love me forever
That is what you promised me
That is what I promised you
Now look at Us

What will you do
At forty eight
Twenty three looks so wonderful
Forty two isn't new

Pledged to take care of me
I of you
Suddenly you want to go
How do I fix this

What can I do
Help me to help us
I see the abyss approaching fast
The cold fingers taunting below

Need to be positive
Fight to keep you
Yet seems there are other plans in store
Heart is slowly tearing inside

I don't want to tell you
Want you to want to stay
Push the guilt I could
Not my style,

Begged and pleaded
Cried and put up a fuss
In the end though its up to you
Will you walk out or in through that door

I am dying inside you know
Killing me to easily
I have loved you
Given my best

Tears spill down my face
Frustrated
Life shattering
Like walking death

Til Death do Us Part**


Yeah  whatever
What a  joke

Devoniare was his name
He surely talked a fair game
Full of sweetness
Raging lust

For all to see
He spoke so eloquently
The ladies did swoon
As His voice crooned

He was a man you see
Just like the rest they say
But not to me
I was mesmerized
Caught in His spell

His darkness was intoxicating
His light blinding
He was both you see
At least to me

He came for me that night
Everyone wanted me to ignore his call
The evil inside him oozed
Like putrid pus from a wound

I could not see it though
Looked like an angel in the snow
He came for me when I did not answer
Needed my soul to feed his lust

As His voice crooned
His touch ignited
I saw a glimpse of the maggots
Pulling a knife

I prayed he would not see
As I pretended to still be in his spell
Flash of steele
Shriek of pain

Gurgling like a stream
A few gasps inbetween
His lungs filled with blood
As my hand held the knife

I gutted him you see
As he tried to kiss me
Shuddering as I dropped the knife
Coated in his wicked blood

Waking up screaming
"Oh thank you it was just a dream"
Looking down I see
My gown coated in red

Hands trembled
As eyes landed upon
That knife laying on the bed
On it's point was a bleeding heart

I screamed again and again
As I realized
It truly was the fight of my life
Won by me at a cost though

The cost for my soul was my innocence
Wonder if it was worth the price
Future will tell
One thing I won't forget
Is that putrid smell

Awakened in darkness by a sound
Heart thunders like mustangs running free on the plains
The bed is empty beside me
Wondering where my mate is
The noise grows louder, closer

A whisper is heard my heart slows
It is Him of my dreams
The darkness is rich
I cannot see even and inch
Suddenly His hand touches my cheek
I almost unleash a scream
His hushed sounds calm me again
As I feel silk pressed to my eyes
Pressure to the back of my head
He ties the knot

He guides me from my safe bed
My chest tightens in anticipation and dread
I feel, hear and smell things all around
The floor is cold beneath barefeet
Noises seem louder
I can smell his cologne, his masculine body scent

It is a familiar smell though it seems mysterious
My ******* are taut
As His finger tips graze over my flesh
Continues to lead me into another space

I hear a door open, another, and stairs
He guides me expertly until we arrive where?
The entire walk he speaks softly
Things touch me unfamiliar
Suddenly he stops
Fairly soon I will surely need a towel

His lips press to mine scarcely at first
Deepening as his tongue claims mine
Our passion ignites
He says yield as my body says fight
My body craves his touch

My hands are bound and hung above my head
The darkness still shields me from what is around
My flesh is chilled as my gown is rent
Not for long as something snaps
Sending searing heat along my breast

Crying out the scene unfolds
Snaps and cracks as leather and flesh meet
His tongue licks the stripes
**** throbs from heat
Moisture flows like rain

His implements and body bring about
feelings of intense pleasure from pain
Senses are heightened as he works
my body becomes puddy
As hands sculpt and ply it in shape

My first release immediately followed by another
He drinks my essence
Starved for it he claims
He brings me to the edge
Pinnacle of delight

Pale flesh red as fire
All I can feel is raw intense desire
Untying me quickly
We fall to the floor
Our bodies joining as one
The pain and pleasure obscure
Our passion goes on forever it seems
til finally passion is slaked for now

He pulls the blindfold from my eyes
Muted light from the fire nearby is seen
My hands having felt every inch of Him
Heart races once more as emeralds meet seas of blue
He isn't a stranger ohhhh my no
It was my mate all along

He chuckles as His lips meet mine once more
The man I adore
Brought me through yet another door
On a path of mystery
Mystery of pleasure mixed with something a little different

Ahhh and lest I forget
His bites are the best
Nothing is forsaken
For his pearly whites
To clamp down and bite