We go through so many ****** up situations with nobody to talk to for thinking that the next person will judge you for all the mistakes you have done and continue with dealing with thinking that the days will go by faster and faster waking up and it’s a disaster.

I knew I grew up when I sat right next to my enemy and had no reaction!

Every female at some point in some relationships ask them selfs am I that bad ? Am I not enough? Why is he trying to change me now ? Why do I try my best and it’s still not enough? Am I to fat? Why is everything about him ? Why don’t I feel important sometimes ? One thing I will say is if can’t accept you the way you are he is not worth it and for mans that go through the same remember you are worth it and more sometimes u need to change the person you are with not your self maybe just a little but whatever makes you feel better do it for your self not because someone is forcing you to .

Believe it everything will come to the light .

I remember when I would look for healing on those who broke me

April 17 2019
It took me 4 years to get over this relationship to realize how blind i was the whole time he didnt love me all he would do it disrespect me i learned that i have to say no to what i don't like of feel comfortable with the person i was with he would always put me down i remember a cab guy told me sometimes it's not all about the money which didn't make sense to me because i'm not a gold digger but now i understand what he meant to say about that i needed to move on from this toxic relationship. I want better for my self men wise and respectful wise . i live and i learn i hope to never do this mistake again i need to stop picking the wrong guys an i would not tolerate a rude men and talks down to a women when mad i would not deal with all of that NO NO i felt humiliated with him he made me feel like **** even if he was sweet at times he would turn sour quick .f it's a turnoff for me .one time we went to the mall u know what he did he made me hold all his bags in front of people so embarrassing until i told him to hold his **** im not a slave like WOW nobody would believe me when i say i been through *******. He would always blame me call me crazy for always being right

Sometimes its not worth swimming far for someone.

I fight my own demons I rather deal with them my self.

I’m slowly but surely learning to love my self .

I hope one day he realizes that the way he treated me and made me feel was so messed up I hope karma knocks on his door and feels the same pain I felt and all the tears I cried he crys I hope I pop up in his head when he realizes that was the same way he made me feel I leave it to karma and god he sees everything

Once in my lifetime i wasn’t happy with my self and who I’ve became weak, sad, depressed, I felt worth less angry, and alone just because one person that I fell for made me feel so low about my self never again will I ever let some one put me down to the point where I drop my crown never again will I ever not know my worth !

He made me feel low even at my worst
He made me feel worthless
He made me feel pain
He made me feel unwanted
He disrespected me
He was never honest
He said he will always change
He would call me mean names
He would yell at me for no reason
He made me think that I couldn’t live without him
If things didn’t go his way there was no way.
He was always cranky
He made me cry every night
He would hide everything
He would always accuse me
He try to destroy me
He would call me crazy
He did so much to me that I thought one day he would change
Don’t ever burn yourself to keep others warm cause at the end it’s only you ! It took me years with being with this person to realize he was never going to change .i up lifted my self from this toxic relationship and left it hurts to see people are just heartless and love to take advantage of people and sometimes it has to do with mental illness and trauma they had in the pass lady’s and men don’t stay in a toxic relationship run as far as you can !I made a promise to my self that I would never look back to what broke me at one time.

gave you all the love i had in me did my best at all times nobody is perfect but as soon as i did one little thing wrong i was the bad guy but when you hide your kids from a relationship i see you as a different person what did i do to ever deserve this pain you have a whole family and now i have to carry with this pain but at the same time i feel so stupid i knew something wasn't right in this relationship but i stayed through it because i loved you but i cant continue to hurt my self over people I've been nice for to long time to change the papers for once.some times god bring people into your life to make you learn a lesson and mines is for not to trust or give my all to someone ima always keep my distance past years ive wasted on a person that was never their for me judges me for anything the toxic person will always blame you and will try to manipulate you in all types of ways .

i had to hold my tears in so many times that its getting worst by the day i was always the tough one now look at me holding so much pain in me ..

Have you ever just sat down and said wow I was just about to open up to this person WOW!

sometimes I have to be a fool to fool the fool
Let it go with the flow at the end their the ones that are going to be hurt , since you already know the truth pretend you never seen anything  .

Arguments never seem to stop the past always seem to come up , leaving cant find a way the next day a good day the following allowing your whole day ruined.

Sometimes I just like to chill with the lights low and turn on some sad songs and just cry my *** off

I’ve finally let my self go.
I’m free as a bird no attachments.
I’m better than ever never on a rainy weather.
I’m better not bitter sometimes sour you’ll always remember when to be sweet ! It’s now or never better than forever !

As soon as you start to do better with your self  he starts acussing you !

I feel alone
I feel like I’m always their for everyone
I feel like I listen to everyone
I feel like I help so much and get so little
I feel like I need someone
I feel like I’m not good enough but I do the most
I feel like I’m not loved
I feel like every time I put my all into something always end up betrayed
I feel like I have nobody but my self
I feel like I need a hey how are you doing text
I feel like I’m the only one chasing
I feel like I’m not wanted
I feel like crying sometimes
I feel like I deserve to be happy for once
I feel like I’m in a dark space and I need to see some light !

Once upon a time I fell in love , loved so hard I had butterflies in my stomach, felt so real but it was all a fantasy. Blinding my eyes , ripping out my heart sending it to a cardiologist, couldn’t help the chest pains ,Fear was all I had in mind , the thought of you living without someone .. your going crazy ! Your going crazy ! Never knew it will get this far, sleepless nights waiting for the sun to rise my mind running miles, I asked my self what did I do wrong ?.. I gave you my all ,

Always put your worth before your feelings!

Happy New Years !
New Year letting go off all the negativity welcoming positivity...........