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Jenica Jan 2019
You’re more than what is bargained
You’re energy and fire and spirit and force in a split second.

But you have chosen silence
And heart as a setting stone
To anchor yourself from ever wandering looking for home

And i couldn't agree more
When you say your thoughts could waterfall into anxious tides
Killing you day by day by day

Mine is the same

The universe placed us together
In a dingy classroom (AF104)
To make us realize that here
There is sympathy
And understanding
And people just like you

and  I hope this keeps you lifted
When i say, I understand
To Jay // part one one out of seven : write about your friends

First of a collection of poems i wrote for friends. Years ago I  wrote poems for each individual of my friend group , we went to university together. Been 2 years since we last saw each other and one of my friend just sent me everything I had made, though I’d share it one by one. Reading all of this makes me miss and appreciate that friend group even more.
Jenica Nov 2017
I put apart the yellows and the blues
fix my blemish, curl my hair and got new shoes
zip the skirt up and on my tiny waist
with trimmings of white and some expensive lace

I wore grand mother's pearls and a diamond ring
I wore a smile and a purse with a sling
My lips red and sparkles in my eyes
I wore a voice so sweet it never dared to tell lies

"she's really a beauty " they whisper and say,
"I think it's cause she lost all that weight."
nails all polished, clasped hands to pray
"I really hope they will love me this way."

I've  gone too far to be something of your fancy
I've turned into pretty but it's me you can't see
those days carefree, those days i miss
but you will never love me like this.

you will never love me when
the yellows and blues I can't seem to put apart
but I pride myself for having a bigger heart
when my curls have faded and my shoes are broken
and the trimmings and lace run loosely unwoven

I want  you to love me  when
I speak of  pieces I hold
the stories and truth  from surface unfolds
like pearls that held memories of my dead grandmother
and a big diamond ring from an unfaithful lover

Cause it's hard to love me when
my lips are dried pale mumbling rude curses,
and  I only really buy second-hand purses
my eyes only sparkle cause I'm holding  back a tear
and my voice may be sweet but it could lie too, I fear.

So i guess im back to putting on a pretty dress
Stitch up the laces and clean up my mess
Keep a sweet voice with something nice to say
Cause maybe you'll only love me this way.
Quick poetry while lining for a black friday sale cause its a good way to let time pass. Haha how you all doin
Jenica Nov 2017
when am I gonna stop believing you
and start believing in me?
Jenica Jun 2017
I am fighting in a war
blood stain on my chest
the battle front  is empty
yet the field is a grand mess

and in this war, I stand
with no partner, king or hero
only pierced pain on my stomach
from a straight  cut bullet arrow

and this arrow had no bow
just soft hands that plunged my death
and I tell myself, enough
while I lose myself and breath

I am fighting a war
and in it, I fight alone
for  the enemy is me
with myself, I can not atone
day to day is a constant battle inside of me. I am my worst enemy and this has to stop.
Jenica Jun 2017
it's noise.

it's bustles and white sounds and orchestras of screams
it's sentences without periods and angry machines

it's nothing romantic it's like a busy road
while you're stuck in  traffic trying to reach home

but home is a construction you never wanted to lease
now the sounds are louder as you're crying for peace

a never ending cycle of  static on your radio
you get it unplugged but it still leaves an echo

so you run to a person to someone you believe
you tell them about your day, about those angry machines

but they turn on the television, give a frown and you stop
while your heart breaks in front of them and all they say was
"grow up."

you listen to the static, and the tv and his voice
and you listen to the screams and the sounds without choice
so I tell you this now and I tell you with poise
run away from anxiety cause hell, it's a whole lot of noise.
But if its all in your head how can you run away from it?!!!?? *help and theraphy wanted*

— The End —