I taught you too well the siren song that wins my heart

You were a fastidious student,
now as the piper, play each note to perfection

But try as a I might,
I can not convince myself to mistake your song for love
to follow where you lead

I can not unsee the cracks in the plaster
that show through in the daylight

Or betray myself once more,
as I have so many times in the past

Though I appreciate how hard you’ve tried
This is where I must leave you

You are that moment

Betwixt blinding light
and deafening sound

That moment

Suspended mid air, particles standing on edge

You are the silence swarmed with anticipation,

Ephemeral, yet eternal

A moment, a lifetime,
how different are they, I can’t know

So bright, beautiful,
Dangerously so,

and then, the inevitable boom

Though I’ve not yet met you,

I am here

in between the flash and the bang
where you’ll find me

I've seen such eyes before
the way you look at me
curious, enticed, enamored

you are young and beautiful
but I am not for you
nor you for me
we will need to just leave it at that

Two lovers canoodling in the woods along the path whilst I run past,

They, embarrassed, disentangle

Having canoodled my way into conundrum so many times, and wishing that I'd known that which I now do,

I would love to tell them to not
let
    go,

instead, (hold tighter still)

For I am but a stranger, anonymous, fleeting, passer by

And there are far too few moments of (embrace)
in dappled morning sunlight  breath
                                       Beside tall oak trees,
to let a few
            foot
                 steps create, so much alarm so as to
lose each
other

I would tell them

when beauty's found, no matter where,
hold on, gaze fixed-and-deep
into its eyes, and declare
that this life time, there will be no interruptions;
steadfastly defend the moment;
ignore all else that beckons,
as so much will
phantoms all
and take arms against that which would otherwise intrude

No passerby, or gilded path should draw you from this place,
this
depth

you must not allow that to come to pass

For, in the final accounting, years from now perhaps, the two lovers will lament having disregarded a moment enraptured, for but a passerby -

I would love to tell them all of this,

but I’ve long since run passed them,

just a passerby

Such exquisite irony

that a will so free,

makes choices

that cost so much

And yet,

all the beauty lies

in the will to try yet again,

to do better

Because I know

There is nothing that you would not give

many sunrises have past and finally
the demons have found their rest such that
I can once again appreciate-

the shattered glass, blood red wine
MDMA on the patio
You, before you broke into a thousand pieces
Brilliant sunrises
forgotten revelry
All those naked people we never really knew
Tearing at ourselves
Beauty, purple like bruises  
Black out curtains
gnashing teeth
nail torn skin
Losing you, finding myself
All before the appetizers arrived


At 99, my grandmother told me the only regrets she had
were the things she never did

she would have loved all the tourniquets and lace