Just wait, please,

I’m not a good person,
I’ve done dark things.
Hidden by a smile,
What the night brings.

Look away, please,

Behind my smile, I’ve done dark things.

Dear gentleman I love to see,
What are you doing to me?
Every smile you throw my way,
Leaves me not knowing what to say.
Those kisses we share,
I hate how much I care.
Wanting to run away with you,
Is my biggest weakness, it’s true.
I think I’m falling,
You’re still standing.
It’s for the best, I believe,
Goodbye gentleman I love to see.

If I know what’s good for me, I know I should walk away.

Chaos and madness,
Creeping in from all corners,
Whirlwinds of stress,
Knocking down my borders.

“Why do you hate me?” you ask,
I will no longer hide behind my mask.

You told me to not cut my hair,
Of course I wouldn’t dare.

You vowed that I was nothing without you,
Who are you to tell me what I can’t do.

You said that I was weak,
I began to believe I was a freak.

You shouted my name until it became a horrible word to hear,
All I ever wanted to do was disappear.

You called me pathetic, boring and ungrateful,
Every word pierced through me was painful.

You picked me up at your angriest and threw me,
I never told a soul, I didn’t want them to worry.

You used to shake me if I didn’t look into your eyes,
It makes me feel sick that I used to feel butterflies.

You would argue when I never said a word,
Even if I tried to defend myself - you never heard.

You made me promise to not get anymore tattoos,
It took me too long to realise everything you did was abuse.

NOW, I’m stronger.
Because we are no longer.

NOW, I will look you in the eyes and smile.
Because I can see that you’re vile.

My mother always told me,
There's no monster beneath my bed.
But she failed to warn me,
It lived inside of me instead.

is not about
for the storm
to pass.

It's about
to dance
in the rain.

one of the things my Grandad always said to me as I was a teenager, I never understood what he meant - nor appreciated his words. I regret not thanking him enough.

The warmth from your body,
pressed against my bare skin.

Growling under your breath,
close to my ear,
you pull back and flash me a grin.

I arch my back with desire,
to feel all of you.

Your fingertips trace down my spine,
sending excitement to my core.
I need to know if you're entirely mine,
you have me begging for more.

While our legs entangle,
Heartbeats quicken.

Brushing my hair away from my face,
you greet my lips with yours.

Please let me be everything you want,
I can't think straight,
the lust becomes overwhelming.

Reality slowly melting...

I've never been adored like this.

I savour every delicious moment.

I wasn't sure how much detail I could go into... every moment around him is filled with lust.
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