Jayn Doe

Feb 21

The hurricane in me is beginning
to twist around the words you're refusing to say.

And I'm so tired, selfish, sick;
and I cannot begin to tell you
how heavy my heart can become

when
you
don't
speak.

My face is bruising under the skin
as if your taciturnity is trapped there…
Pushing and pulsing and beating
until there is nothing left but
a ****** mess of lifeless conversation.

Pinched nerves and scrapes
and scars are more productive
than the conflict and concept of hurting alone.

So, stop clicking your tongue against
your teeth and take the bandage off your mouth.
Silence is not for lovers.

Feb 9

Blossoms

It's on days like this I find myself missing the nosebleeds more than I ever missed you,
and it's only half true that I don't remember the heartache
you laced into the white lines you so carefully carved for me.

Flowers are beautiful until they are plucked.
They start to wither and fade and wilt
much earlier than they were meant to.

Young girls are much the same,
but you already knew that… And that's why
the ******* was always free.

Feb 8

Sylph

I can enter a room that
I've never been in and after inhaling,
I can tell she's been there.

Her smile was my favorite poem
or a novel about being torn in half
like she was made of paper.

She doesn't worship any gods.
I can tell by the way her bare feet
are covered in mud and
the way she sticks flowers
in her hair.

She's just fragments of laughter
and streaks of sunlight through the trees.
She's a breath in the shape of a girl-
a shadow disguised as something solid.

She is made of books and longings,
petals and aches, stardust and memories-
memories made in a bedroom
that I'll never step foot in again.

She took her heart and tied it to a thousand balloons
and set it free hoping maybe it would float
higher than any pain could ever reach.

Feb 6

Dandelions

I held the world in my hands
and with a gentle blow of a kiss,
I watched it float away.

Palms stretched out to the heavens
whispering to a god that does not exist,
I pray it leads me home.

Feb 6

Quick Pulse

I wake up hungry every night I spend without you.
My heart contracts like my stomach
pulling deeper into itself trying to form around you.

But you're not there
and I am left sleepless and starving
for your affection, your touch, and
your heartbeat below my ear.

I fear one day you'll forget
that your name is tattooed on my mouth
and that my hands were made to fit yours.
As soon as the words leave my lips,
I feel the need to tell you again…

I love you.

Feb 4

Breaking

Look at what you built and destroyed.
Like a doll behind glass, you admired
and stared and stared and stared.

But that was not enough.
You had to touch
and feel and take;
and when you realized the door was locked,
you broke it.

I probably should have thought more
than some remark about how all the glass was on the floor,
but with lips made of porcelain
I couldn't tell you, "Stop, you're hurting me."

Feb 3

Steps

Darling, you are so pure

and it seems like I lie through my teeth
more than I grind them in my sleep

because
I simply don't

want
you
to
know

that I am nothing more than skin stretched over cracking bones.