I swim through your time here on earth quite well
I don't loiter because the sign on your skin doesn't allow me
Same old story
I travel over you to quickly
And suddenly your gone
Heaven knows its got to be this time

Recycled words, blistering cold from the four shots I never drank
Reflection of teenage angst and heart break fog up my windows
But you being away never bothered me anyways
Wait....
Maybe I lied a little
Maybe just maybe, I still read your letters on a Tuesday morning with the scent of burnt toast cloaking the house
Maybe I still find your underwear at the bottom of my laundry basket or the words you wrote for me on a crumbled up paper besides my blue waste bin
**** it and see you never know

" I hate them all, I hate them all
I hate myself
For hating them
so I'll drink some more
I'll love them all
I'll drink even more
I'll hate them even more than I did before. "

I'm tired of waking up in the same bed and the sun shining on my face
I'm tired of the carpet the bottom of my feet slide slide against
I'm tired of the cold door **** I turn and completely sick of the cigarette I put to my lips
Long drives to places that don't matter
Places that don't matter to me nor anyone
The noises the tires against the road make drives me crazy
Kind of like you did
But a little less self inflicting
The "Coffee shirt" I called
The brown coffee stain that still is engraved into the fibers of my white t shirt
I cant help but to reminsice the memories we never fully shared
All the times I never fell asleep or woke up with you
But yes dear you are every thought in the cranium space above my neck
And yes you are every unfinished poem besides my waste bin
Like the little piece of plastic at the end of my shoe lace
It doesn't matter anymore
And sometimes I don't care
My eyes are just hanging low
My finger tips burn
And I'm 6 feet beneath the moon with anywhere but you to go
Its Ok
Its more than Ok

Thunderbolted finger nails and clean saliva
*******
******
Ativan
Xanax

This song makes me feel extremely melancholic.
Because well I over think things a lot.
Like the corners in rooms eyes have never laid on.
Or little pieces of your skin that I don't get to kiss
I've finally cleaned my room
I swept all the little specs of you that's been in my carpet for some time now
It still smells like your favorite cigarettes
And there is no point of me airing it out because pretty soon that toxic scent will be all I have left of you
I hope I won't forget you but I've never been good at promising
But then again who could forget you
The words you noted
The times lips touched my neck
Or when our teeth clashed against each other
How could I?
Every now and then I poke myself with the Morrissey pin you gave me while looking for the notes you wrote me
The point punctures the tip of my finger slightly
But I've already bled myself dry trying to forget how your hair smelled
And I've gone blind trying to forget what your skin felt like during the summer near the old school
Winter bites near a frozen stream
I pinched myself but your not just a bad dream

Please keep me in mind
Breath in the scent of my favorite shirt as I will for you
while I remember how your finger prints felt
Or how you tasted
crochet your hands in mine one last time or just kiss me on the cheek and make your way back to the old house, all i ask of you is one thing that I know you can no longer do, sit with me and let us reminisce about the tears and frowns we gave because I truly felt they saved me
You taught me how to feel
that the emotions that killed me during my days weren't as strong as I was, I truly love you for that, maybe I'll see you sometime, someday darling
Maybe I'll pass you in the streets in another life
I'll smirk at you and youll grin and we'll never meet again
But until then i will spend the rest of my days on earth listening to soul destroying music wishing I could stick by your side
I will spend the rest of my days tasting you on the roof of my mouth and no matter how much my wisdom teeth ache,  I'll keep them in because I know there will be a little of your DNA on it and soon it'll be all I have left of you
In your absence
In the absence of your touch
In the absence of your smiling face
......
Times tide will never smother you and you will always be kept close to whatever I have left of my heart