I’m finding peace
In your silence

I’m finding peace
In your rage

I’m finding peace
In your absence

I’m finding peace
In being silent

I’m finding peace
In my anger

I’m finding peace
In my solitude

Cigarettes and coffee,
like wine and cheese.

Perfect for the occasion,
and the times it will bring

I will conquer
Like tears on a sow

I am beautiful
But I will wither

I rule my world,
The real life fantasy land where everyone believes they’re in control,

like your life is together,
all your friends are real,
you have romance,
working hard at your job

but you forgot.

I could ruin you in a sentence.

My throat is numb,
I don’t feel the barbwire in my esophagus

My feet are purple,
I’m dangling them with an anchor

My wrists swollen,
fingers about to fall from restriction

My face bloated,
from every love bite.

Lips, still red
always smiling

The first thing I reach for in the morning

is you.

Yet you’ve changed,
you’re a box
full of bad habits.