Jay Mar 2017

Dear husband,

I pray that you  have God as your first love and you pray to him vigorously. I pray he hears your whispers, your screams, your silence, your tears of sorrow; and tears of joy.  I pray that he blesses you with the tools you need to build & keep your foundation sturdy and deeply rooted.

I pray that your past doesn't linger and damage your future. I pray that you fall madly in love with yourself and you know who you are as a man and understand what you stand for.  I pray that you evolve in this lifetime with your love, mind, body and soul. I pray that you are financially responsible and have the common sense that's needed to survive. I pray that you pray for me and our beautiful family and friends. I pray that you feel me, see me, understand me, like and love me as a woman and what I stand for. I pray that you have patience for us; be gentle enough for us.

Jay Oct 2016


Maybe people who can’t tell directions have no directions in life.
Those same people end up being…
Some of them follow others path’s and a few of them make their own.
Why is it so hard trying to figure out your path, who you are and what you like.
Why is it that when people ask me questions, I hesitate with an answer.
hesitant at first because I want to please them. How about this; I don’t need your validation.
I don’t need your opinions or suggestions. I don’t care.
I really hate when people ask me those type of questions; as if they want to categorize me.
I’m not made to be put in a box. I won’t ever be.  Stop trying to label me or figure me out.
I’m everything I need to be.

  Sep 2016 Jay
Hong Denice

Love is of God; lust is from the world

Love is selfless; lust is selfish

Love can wait; lust is got to have it now

Love is giving; lust is taking

Love is purity; lust is sin

Love develops; lust destroys

Love is peaceful
Lust is full of anxiety

-Charles Stanley

Jay Sep 2016

I'm ready for the flames that ignite from our passion and for the storm that clears it all away. I don't just want the good; I want the bad. I want the arguments and the crying and laughing and teasing and caressing and those soulful gazes and long winded conversations. I want the hard and soft version of you. I want your heaven and hell. I want your angels and your demons. I don't want to bullshit anymore and play this game of not being able to read each other. I see you perfectly the way you are. I feel you all day. I pray for you day and night. I hear you speaking to me all day. One day we'll become so cocooned in our love that we'll taste eternity.

Jay Sep 2016

A New Beginning

Before this loves burns out
Before we carve out each others hearts
before we enslave our souls,
let us walk to the light
let’s start,
a new beginning.

  Jul 2016 Jay

There are three types of heartaches

Heartache #1
The heartache where you were never loved back.
He’d look at you and smile but you know the sparkle in his eyes isn’t because of you.
He’ll hug you goodbye but you can smell the scent of her perfume as you snuggle your head into his neck.
He would turn away and you’d look at him as if he was the most celestial being you’ll ever see and you’ll remember, the way you look at him, is the way he looks at her.

Heartache #2
The heartache where you strive to make their life a living hell.
You’ll break his heart and realise when it’s too late that you’ve broken yours in the process as well.
So while he is sitting next to you because he has no other choice, you hum the song that he dedicated to you just loud enough for him to hear, and you’ll know it’s driving him mad.
And you’ll wear the shirt he said he loved on you as you pretend to run into him, whether it’s walking casually in the hallway or chatting with someone who happens to be right near his locker.
You’ll find a new boy to smile and laugh with and you’ll know he is in the distance watching, remembering how he used to be the one that got that smile out of you.

Heartache #3
The heartache that never goes away.
The one with the mesmerising blue eyes and smug smile that could devour your soul in a heartbeat.
It’s the restless nights of talking about all your fears, dreams, insecurities; everything that makes you, you.
It’s the way you let yourself be vulnerable as he touched your naked skin.
He’ll hold your hand and make promises he never intended to keep.
He’ll make you believe every word he says is true.
He’ll make you see that planting flowers in your lungs is so much better than destroying yourself.
But he’ll fail to tell you that once those flowers die, you wont be able to breathe.

They all hurt
Jay Jul 2016

shades of Melanin.

It was gifted to us from the supreme.
It all started from that gift which is only inherited from us;
That we gave the world an enchanting and seductive formula.
From creamy vanilla to lustful ebony.
A rainbow of, melanin.
We are the light and the dark here on mother earth.
We glisten in the sun and glow in the moonlight.
We are the reign of earth and the creators of life.
Thanking the heavens for the shades of melanin.

To be continued
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