Are Professions the opposite of
Confessions? My shrink said perhaps we can deal with this in other sessions.

What is a fession?
I think this a good
Question.

Is it better to be *******
Than it is to be ****** on?

Is it pronounced *** can,
Or as I like to say puh kahn?


After all, I thought a *** can was
Something you would assign
Everyone on a long trip to make
Better time.


Wouldn't it be cool if dinosaurs
Were mammals and had fits
Over which had the tiniest
Arms, but yet had the biggest
                          ****?

T-Rex. Yes, definitely T-Rex.
She would have won contests.


But no, they had none. And Mr. T-
Rex was so ******. Not for this, but
Because he couldn't reach his gun;
U know what I mean, his appendage.

Why do we drive in "parking" lots?
Why do we call them buildings still?
They are built. Alone in my thoughts?
Why do we "park" in driveways? Fill

                                    In
                    ­              Your
                               Answers
                                      If
                ­                      U
                                   Will.

The Talk To Text feature is stuck on.
Aww CRAP! Come on you piece of junk, stop, Stop, STOP! Aww.. !

Oh, hey Bob. How are you doing today?

I am fine how are you?

Oh, I was fine until my talk to text feature broke. It is recording everything it hears.

Really, Jamie? Let me take a look at it for you.

Oh no you don't, Bob! I am waay better with such things, you broke my last phone, remember?

Well, it couldn't hurt for me to take a look at it...

No.

Really it will be fine...

No.

Duder, it's just a...

No.

Why are you being so hard headed?

Hey, look Bob! I fixed it.

Oh, really?

Yes.

Did you really?

Yes.

Let me see.

No.

Yes.

No, Bob. Go to work.

My work is hell.

Yes Bob. Go there.

I am telling you, I fixed the piece of...

Oh, hey Mom. However is it that you do?

Is something wrong with your phone, Son?

Not anymore, I fixed it.

Well, he says he fixed it. But...

No buts, Bob. Go to work.

Let me see your phone, Son.

No, Mom.

Yes, let me see if I can fix it.

No. I have been working on electronics since I was 8 years old. There's no way you can fix this ****** pho...

What is red and smells like blue paint?

What is white and smells like bananas?

I finds cracks on people
who pretend they're whole.
So maybe that's a blessing.
Or maybe it's a curse.
Either way,
I can't save them all.
And there are too many out there
who laugh with broken hearts.

Two identical vehicles impact head on in a collision where both vehicles were traveling at 70 MPH. This impact is equivalent to 1 car hitting a concrete wall at what speed?