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James Scanlan Jun 2017
Two feet long
Two feet wide
Two feet tall
Two square feet
To hold my life
To hold my fears
To hold my memories
To hold my accomplishments
Too dull to hold my imagination
Too tiny to hold my goals
Too insignificant to hold my dreams
Too weak to hold me
James Scanlan May 2017
I gave my heart
Into the care of another
It was thrown back
In pieces two

A stranger came along
And tried to put it
Together like new
But the slightest of flaws
Broke it even more

No longer caring
I left the pieces
On the floor
For feet to step on

But she picked it up
Piece by piece
And loved each part
Of my broken heart
Until there was born
Something completely new
James Scanlan Jul 2017
I once knew a curious child
Questions he had more than a few
I often wonder what happened to that child
Perhaps he starved from questions left unanswered
James Scanlan May 2017
My Mind speaks
Logically
Listing reason after
Reason
But I have
A Deaf Heart
James Scanlan Jul 2017
I wished upon
a falling star
But I did not know
the stars were in your eyes
Nor that the star which fell was mine
Wrapped in a tear
falling from your eye
James Scanlan Mar 2017
I was passing through a town
When I saw a little girl,
With a bow tied in her hair,
Feeding a dog skinny and bald,
And I smiled with hope renewed.
But then I saw, in that same little town,
An older girl, with make-up smeared
Across her face in a garish display,
And a shadowy figure leading her
Into a car that stole her innocence,
And a part of me died inside.
But as I walked, in that same little town,
I saw a woman sheltering kids
Who had no other place to go.
She tied bows in their hair
And fed them warm food,
And I smiled in my heart.
But then I saw, in that same little town,
An older woman, her face turned down
In shame at the whispers
That caused her fingers to be bare
And her house to be empty.
But then I saw, in that same little town,
An old lady, with a crinkly smile on her face,
In a soup kitchen with men and women,
With bows in their hair, serving warm food
And she looked at me and said,
"Stranger, I have seen you five times now.
Won't you have this bowl of soup?
And a warm place to sleep?"

And I, Death, respectfully accepted and said,
*"Yes, if you are ready."
This snuck up on me out of nowhere.
I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
James Scanlan Feb 2017
“Who’s that?” they say
When they hear my name
“I almost forgot him.”

My life was good, for a while
Then a wrong step was taken
By others or me, I do not know
Step by step, my life became worse
I retreated into myself, thinking I could handle it
Alone

“Oh really?” they say
When they hear what I tried
“I’m not surprised.”

Wrist scarred, neck bruised
Failed attempts due to ignorance
Not lack of want
They sent me away to get help
But no one understood
Me

“Hello.” He said
Another one I thought
“Let’s get you new feet.”

“Why should I get you back to normal?” he said
“When normal is what caused this?
Why go back to a life not worth living?
What is something you have not done?”
“Why?” I asked
“To try it.” He said

“In Europe!” they exclaimed
At the new gossip
“Skydiving too?”

The first thing did not help
Nor the second
But then I found
In somewhere I had not looked
The strong heartbeat of my
Life

“Why go back to the same story?” he said
“When you know how it ends. Instead,
Try something new.”
A friend of mine is mourning someone who committed suicide.
I wish I could have given that person the same advice the speaker of my poem got.
James Scanlan Nov 2017
I heard a story
Some time ago
Of an Elephant
Powerful and Wise
And a String
Thin as a hair

But the Elephant
Was not always Powerful
Nor Wise
And the String had begun
As an Iron Chain

From birth the Elephant
Strained and struggled
Against the Iron Chain
But always failed
To be free of it

Then came the day
The Elephant gave up
And tried no more
Not long after
The Iron Chain
Shriveled into String

And til this day
That Elephant
Who grew to be Powerful
And Wise
Is held back
By a frail and weak
Piece of String
What hold you back?
James Scanlan Oct 2017
I had a seed
Of love
In it I could see
A towering tree
But also
A humble ****
But a seed unplanted
Is never truly known
So I planted my seed
And now wait for it to grow
James Scanlan Mar 2017
The sky will be bright
Blue and full of birds
The sun will shine
A gentle warmth from above
There will be flowers
Roses, Dandalions, and Orchids
The music will be soft
With a gentle beat to march to
And there will be a bride
Beautiful as the Sunrise
And a Gown of Flowing Silk
Waiting to be Wed
A tribute to my brother who is tying the knot.
James Scanlan Feb 2017
As she cries
They stop and stare
Pity in their eyes
Sympathy too

As she cries
And falls by my feet
Unable to stand
The sudden sharp pain

As she cries
Below my strong, powerful figure
They rush to help
And shield her from pain

But then
They look at me
And stop in fear
Of a Father's Tear
James Scanlan Mar 2017
A tree outside my house
Blossomed when she died.
It seemed wrong. Why should there be
Such beauty before me,
When there is such ugliness inside me?
Why should there be pretty colors,
When my world is dark and grey?
I burned down that tree,
In a drunken fit of rage,
And screamed at the world
Until the lights flashed red and blue.
After I got back, all calmed down and
Collected, I ****** on its ashes,
And passed out on the bed.
After the funeral, I looked out in my yard
And saw flowers
Budding from the ashy ground.
I see her now,
Beauty That Was Destroyed
Only to live again.
There is a garden outside my house
And in my Heart,
And it blossoms every Spring.
James Scanlan Feb 2017
Beware! Beware!
To all those who wish
To sail the sea of Love

Make sure your ship is
Sturdy and sound
And bring a bucket
To bail out the water

Beware! Beware!
To those who sail
To far off lands

Turbulent storms
Cannot be avoided
But the destination
May well be worth it

Beware! Beware!
To those who sink
To dark depths

True hate
Is love's daughter
Do not give birth
To Her

Beware! Beware!
To those going
To jump overboard

Make sure you can swim
By yourself
Do not drown
Or get eaten by sharks

Beware! Beware!
To those who wish
To sail the sea of love

You cannot sail
On two boats
So chose one
Or doom yourself
This one crept up on me out of nowhere.
I have no idea why I wrote this.
James Scanlan Jun 2017
My heart hurts when you say
You liked me
Because
I liked you too
James Scanlan Mar 2017
My face is blank
Expressionless
Amidst teasing and joking
It rarely changes
Nothing seems to faze it
It looks like a mask
What might be hidden behind it?
No one ever asked before
My face is blank
Except when I'm
With you
James Scanlan Apr 2017
Love at first sight.
What a cliché.
More like lust at first sight.
But how else do I explain
What I felt when first
I saw you.
You were in the rain,
Face turned up and a smile tugging at your lips.
I still feel the pleasant pain
That pierced my heart
When I heard you laugh.
Love at first sight.
I guess I am
A Cliché.
James Scanlan Jun 2017
my hands are clean

my conscience is clear

I did nothing wrong!

Why

Why do you stare at me so?!

don't

Don't cry!

Because then I'll . . .

we couldn't make it

no one could

we tried

we failed

i didn't dump you

i couldn't

*you weren't there
James Scanlan Jun 2017
Do you know
how the merest glance
or touch
or word shared with you
makes my heart beat?

Do you know
the exquisite pain
i feel
when we sit and
your hand grazes mine?

Do you know
how i consider carefully
each word
i say when i know
you will hear it?


Do you know
the rage i feel
for those
who make you cry
into the night?

Do you know
how much i strive
to see
you laugh and smile
because of me?

Do You Know

*i love you?
James Scanlan Feb 2017
I dreamed of war
Once
I was a hero
Fighting countless enemies
Somehow not killing
Or killed
I fantasized about war
Bloodless heroics
I played it out
In my youth
But then
My father told me of war
Of his personal experiences
He softened the truth
But it still shocked me
War is not bloodless
Soldiers and people
**** and are killed
War is not heroic
Although some people are
I know the truth now
I dreamed of war
Once
They are nightmares
Now
James Scanlan Jun 2017
When did the excitement

die out

When did the roaring fire

start smouldering

When did the endless enchantments

end

When will it start

*Again?
James Scanlan Jun 2017
Surrounded by Silence
the sound of crying
Echoes Inside
James Scanlan Jun 2017
It's getting late and I'm feeling
tired
And when I'm tired I feel...
Weird
Things just pop into my
mind
Like calling up your
phone
And farting into it
James Scanlan Jul 2017
Roses are red
This life may be a lie
But I'll tell you a truth
Promise you won't cry
Existence is pain
And full of grief
It's not very long
In fact it's brief
But in this life
There's a reason to live
For the unending pain
Is deceptive
For end it does
When love is found
When two souls become one
Forever bound
James Scanlan May 2017
I came upon a fork in my path
And there was one less traveled than the other

Take the beaten path
That many people can't be wrong
It's best to be safe

Take the path less traveled
Because it is traveled less
Conform to unconformity


I strode straight ahead
Choosing neither path
And to my surprise, I came upon a place
Hidden from prying eyes
And I stayed a long while
Content with my life
Until I traveled once more
To places unknown
James Scanlan May 2017
Heart

Breaking to pieces

Face

Showing it not

But for a lonely  

tear

And a

smile

Small and

sad
James Scanlan Jul 2017
It's funny how words
Can express so much

I want to die

The first, and happiest,
Sentence to change my life
Was
I love you too

It hurts so much

The second sentence,
On the best day of my life,
Was
Yes I'll marry you

I'm sorry. . . so sorry

The third, on the day
My world fell apart,
Was
I. . . I have cancer

But I just can't

The last was on the day
My heart died
She suffered so much
Braver than me
Brave almost all the time  
Almost. . .

*I want to die
James Scanlan Feb 2017
Goodbye.
I've always heard it
But this time I'm
Saying it.

Am I really leaving?

I don't know
anyone over there. I'll
be all alone. For the
first time.

What's it going to be like?

I don't know.
But I will find out
Soon. It's my turn to say
Goodbye.
James Scanlan Apr 2017
The smell of coffee, fresh brewed.
Sunlight dappling the curtains
And the warmth of a blanket

Breath in deeply the numerous scents
Grass, I never knew it smelt so good,
A breeze from the bakery,
And the bacon and eggs already made.

Thanks said and prayer over
Eyes closed and mouth chewing
Hunger satisfied and a glass of OJ
Morning business calls

Freshly shaved, with hair gelled
And clean clothes.
Walk outside and hear the chirping of nature
Passerbys greet politely
"Good morning!"

It truly is.
I woke up on the right side of the bed
James Scanlan Feb 2017
My Heart beats faster
In Fear of you finding out
In Hope of you finding out
James Scanlan Feb 2017
I like you.
There,
I said it.
To myself.
You still don't
Know.
James Scanlan Feb 2017
I look at the world
Not hidden by a screen
Does no one else see
The beauty of the moment?

I take in the world
The azure sky above
Where cotton floats by
And bright birds fly high

I sense the world
The smell of the storm
The taste of the sea
The softness of the grass

I look at the world
In all its splendor
Will you raise your head
And look at it with me?
James Scanlan Jun 2017
Do you remember when we first met?
I said you were cute, like a bunny.
And you said I was mean, like a wolf.

Have you seen a wolf **** a bunny?
A savage figure tearing into
A pitful corpse
That doesn't even satisfy the wolf's
Hunger.

That's what everyone thought.
I was the beast that preyed
On innocent bunnies like you.

But I was soft at heart, like the prey they thought I loved to eat.
But you knew that.
But I didn't know
That wolves hide in bunnies clothing too.
James Scanlan Feb 2017
I live my life
Unaware
I live my life
Without a care
I live my life
Not knowing it's unfair
I live my life
Under a merciless stare
I live my life
Until the truth is bare
I lived my life
Until I was aware
-Life of a cow
James Scanlan Apr 2017
Sitting here
Nothing to do
Staring into space
Does one plus one equal two?
I'm bored.
Thinking random thoughts
What is the meaning of life?
What is the deal
With all this war and strife?
I'm bored.
Wrote this in class when my teacher was kate
James Scanlan Jul 2017
My soul is incomplete

Day by day I feel it more
Festering like an open sore
A desire deep inside
A truth from which I cannot hide

It is not a wound
It is not a pain
All efforts to heal it
would be in vain

My Soul is incomplete

It is cake without frosting
Adam without Eve
Fries without ketchup
A priest who does not believe

My soul is incomplete

Day by day
I search for you
All I hope is
That you do too
So that when the time comes
That we do meet
No longer will
My soul be *Incomplete
James Scanlan Feb 2017
Inspiration Strikes!
Suddenly words keep flowing,
Shaping something new.
Where does it come from?
Who cares!
Just write what you can while
Inspiration Strikes!
If only it happened more often
James Scanlan May 2017
Darkness is the absence
Of light
It covers, hides, and conceals
Formless things from
Our sight

So why does the
Fading light
Reveal my worries, doubts, and fears
As I journey darker
Into Night
James Scanlan Jan 2019
It likes the quiet

Those silent moments of
Reflection

And then, as your mind stills
And idle, your hands become
It pounces!

It thrusts its icy fingers through my back
And tightens its grip around my heart
Then yanks backward
And down, down I fall
Into unending blackness
Bleakness
Lonliness


It likes the quiet
James Scanlan Jul 2017
"Okay" I said
There was no mess
No fuss
No anger
Everything was
Fine
On the outside
Inside
Something *broke
James Scanlan Jul 2017
I want some to talk to

I want someone to hold on to

I want someone to wake up to

I want someone to love
James Scanlan May 2017
Life gave me lemons
Simple as that
Others may make lemonade
Or something like that
But I was hungry
So I ate them
James Scanlan Jun 2017
I thought parallel lines
Were the saddest things
Similar interests, humour, and feelings
Perfect for each other
But never meeting

But now I know
something sadder
Two lines, just about to meet,
When one
*ends
James Scanlan Nov 2017
I told her I loved her
And her silence
Spoke louder than words
James Scanlan Feb 2017
It's funny how the
Problems of others
Seem so clear
And sometimes the
Answers too
"So silly!" I say
"Why don't they just..."

But when it comes to Her
Beyond my hands is a
Wall of Fog
I stumble into Everything
Everything!
"So silly!" They say
"Why doesn't he just..."
James Scanlan May 2017
I have many Masks

The Stranger Mask
Polite and well-adjusted
It is a facade of falsehood
Shown to strangers
Who do not know me

My Work Mask
Professional and dependable
A monotonous existence
That stifles and smothers
Who I want to be

The Mask for Family
Obedient and loving
It is who I used to be
But a little different
From who I've become

A Friendly Mask
Joyful and content
It is my favorite mask
For it shows someone
Who fits well with others
But it is not all of who I am

The Dark Mask
Hidden and fearful
It is worn only when
I am alone
It is the truest lie
I tell myself

I have many Masks
Only God knows my Face
James Scanlan Feb 2018
They sneak and creep
And ambush me
In the dead of night
During day's bright light
Within a whisper
Of silent screams
Subtle sister
Of midnight dreams
Bringer of tears
Smiles and fears
A lifetimes worth
Of sorrow and mirth
They are mine
They belong to me
My bittersweet
Memories
James Scanlan Jun 2017
Weary, wet, and wondering why,
I sat and stared at passers-by.
Next to me with an umbrella
Sat a dignified and morose fella
Who had gotten to that certain age
Where he acted like a sage
Passing wisdom to men such as I
Who were young and caught his eye

Young Man do you know
The most precious things in life?
Not the money, fame, or power
That causes so much strife,
But the moments opportune
That occur only once
In a very blue moon
And are never seen again.


"And what moments are these?"
I said looking to please
A man past his prime
By giving him a moment of my time

The exhilarating and petrifying moment
When you're looking in a pretty girl's eyes
And she's bitting her lower lip
Her cheeks are slightly red
And you can stay silent like always
Or muster all of your
Courage
Strength
and Fortitude
And ask your crush out

The terrifying and unavoidable moment
When mere months later you realize
Your heart is hers to do with as she pleases
And then she asks that question

What are We?
And you can either casully brush it off
Or make vulnerable your heart and tell the truth

That common but complex moment
That men of morals greatly debate
When between
Family
or Fortune
You must decide


And what choices did you make?
Tell me for goodness' sake!

All the right choices, he said
*But one
My longest poem yet!
James Scanlan Jun 2017
I'm in love with you
And I'm pretty sure you like me too
But. . .
Even I know the timing is wrong
So I call you friend and hope
For the day when we can be *more
James Scanlan Jul 2017
My face is Strong
No Weakness to be found

My face is Laughing
No Sadness to be found

My face is a Mask
In front of Others

My face is Cracking
When I'm Alone
James Scanlan Mar 2017
My heart beats faster,
As I wait for the lightning
To flash yellow again.
God this is addicting!
To share secret, ever silent thoughts,
And to find acceptance and appreciation.
To look at countless other thoughts
Written and shared with me!
I read once more.
I write once more.
I wait for the lightning to flash yellow once more!
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