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915 · May 2017
The Wall
James Scanlan May 2017
The Wall I have built
Around my Heart
Is neither Tall
Nor very Wide
But it is Sturdy
Propped up by my Doubts
And Insecurities
And Strengthened
By my Rationalizations
Of why No One
Would ever Love me

*someone, anyone,
Break It Down!
532 · Apr 2017
I'm Bored
James Scanlan Apr 2017
Sitting here
Nothing to do
Staring into space
Does one plus one equal two?
I'm bored.
Thinking random thoughts
What is the meaning of life?
What is the deal
With all this war and strife?
I'm bored.
Wrote this in class when my teacher was kate
495 · Feb 2017
A Warning
James Scanlan Feb 2017
Beware! Beware!
To all those who wish
To sail the sea of Love

Make sure your ship is
Sturdy and sound
And bring a bucket
To bail out the water

Beware! Beware!
To those who sail
To far off lands

Turbulent storms
Cannot be avoided
But the destination
May well be worth it

Beware! Beware!
To those who sink
To dark depths

True hate
Is love's daughter
Do not give birth
To Her

Beware! Beware!
To those going
To jump overboard

Make sure you can swim
By yourself
Do not drown
Or get eaten by sharks

Beware! Beware!
To those who wish
To sail the sea of love

You cannot sail
On two boats
So chose one
Or doom yourself
This one crept up on me out of nowhere.
I have no idea why I wrote this.
440 · Mar 2017
The Winds of Time
James Scanlan Mar 2017
Oh! How the Winds of Time blow!
Gently nurturing a tiny spark
Into a Roaring Inferno.
Whether it be Love, Passion, Revolution, or Dreams,
The Winds of Time met them when they began
And whisked them to the Highest Heights!

Oh! How the Winds of Time blow!
Fiercely attacking Eternal Establishments
'Til they are nought but dust.
Whether it be Love, Contentment, Stability, or Success,
The Winds of Time met them at their Highest Heights
And tore them down to their ignoble end!

Oh! How the Winds of Time blow!
Fickle and Changing and
Completely Unpredictable.
Oh! How the Winds of Time blow!
412 · Apr 2017
Weird Humor
James Scanlan Apr 2017
Ha! Hahahaha! Ha!
Everybody stared
A few asked what was funny
I told them and then...
They looked at me funny

Judging eyes, Disgusted eyes
Even Angry eyes one time
I see them a lot

But when I see Laughing Eyes...
A Kindred Spirit!
Jokes exchanged and
Laughter Shared

A New Friend
With the same sense of
Weird Humor

Why is it that feet smell and noses run?
Ha Hahahaha! Ha!
406 · Feb 2017
James Scanlan Feb 2017
Softly, the Wind whispered in my ear
Entranced I wandered the World
New sights my eyes beheld
Deserts Gold, Seas Vast, and Valleys Emerald
Nocturnal, mysterious, ethereal beauty
Under skies starry and silent
Dreams made reality
Eternity to wander is not nearly enough
Softly the Wind whispered, “There are Worlds to see.”
This is my original poem for one of my classes. Can you see the hidden message? It was inspired by a joke I saw on
384 · Feb 2017
Young, But Not So Young
James Scanlan Feb 2017
I am young, but not so young
I still follow my dreams
And imagine songs about me sung
But I see why dreams die
And songs may never touch tongue
But I still carry hope
For I am older, but still young
374 · Mar 2017
James Scanlan Mar 2017
The door has shut
The key doesn't turn
The lock has changed
My home is no longer my home

The windows are shut
The shutters are down
The drapes are pulled
My home is no longer my home

The scenery is brighter
The smells are greater
The night is darker
My home is no longer home

The people are different
The names are new
The faces are unfamiliar
My home in no longer home

*Time Has Passed By
371 · May 2017
A Clean Slate
James Scanlan May 2017
I gave my heart
Into the care of another
It was thrown back
In pieces two

A stranger came along
And tried to put it
Together like new
But the slightest of flaws
Broke it even more

No longer caring
I left the pieces
On the floor
For feet to step on

But she picked it up
Piece by piece
And loved each part
Of my broken heart
Until there was born
Something completely new
322 · May 2017
A Deaf Heart
James Scanlan May 2017
My Mind speaks
Listing reason after
But I have
A Deaf Heart
236 · Mar 2017
The Creature
James Scanlan Mar 2017
Gasping, I struggle as air wheezes into my lungs.
The bitter cold water runs down my face.
Shocking me awake, focusing me,
But the creature is still there

“Control,” I whisper to myself.

I see the creature’s face. It’s pale, pale as a corpse!
Thin blue worms wriggle beneath its skin.
Its hair, lifeless and thin, hangs limp on its head
While strands fall past eyes shining with a sick fire.

“Control,” I plead to myself.

I squeeze my eyes shut then open them once more.
The creature is closer now, clearer too.
The fire in its eyes burn with an unholy desire,
A fire that consumes and leaves naught but ashes.

“Control,” I beg to myself.

But the creature does not listen.
It claws its way out of the mirror and worms into my body.
Bringing with it that devouring, merciless fire
My blood turns to flame, rampaging across my flesh!

It Burns! Burns! Quench it! Feed it!

All control lost, I tie off my arm.
The fire quickly gathers there in anticipation
As I grab the needle and fill it.
Fill it with that cool liquid, that sweet Nectar.

Yes! The fire hurts! The Nectar is Bliss!

I slump back in ecstasy, lying on the bathroom floor.
Pleasure fogs my mind and
I no longer feel the agonies of my life,
Nor see the Creature I have become.
210 · Jun 2017
Do You Know?
James Scanlan Jun 2017
Do you know
how the merest glance
or touch
or word shared with you
makes my heart beat?

Do you know
the exquisite pain
i feel
when we sit and
your hand grazes mine?

Do you know
how i consider carefully
each word
i say when i know
you will hear it?

Do you know
the rage i feel
for those
who make you cry
into the night?

Do you know
how much i strive
to see
you laugh and smile
because of me?

Do You Know

*i love you?
205 · Mar 2017
A Special Day
James Scanlan Mar 2017
The sky will be bright
Blue and full of birds
The sun will shine
A gentle warmth from above
There will be flowers
Roses, Dandalions, and Orchids
The music will be soft
With a gentle beat to march to
And there will be a bride
Beautiful as the Sunrise
And a Gown of Flowing Silk
Waiting to be Wed
A tribute to my brother who is tying the knot.
192 · Mar 2017
A little town
James Scanlan Mar 2017
I was passing through a town
When I saw a little girl,
With a bow tied in her hair,
Feeding a dog skinny and bald,
And I smiled with hope renewed.
But then I saw, in that same little town,
An older girl, with make-up smeared
Across her face in a garish display,
And a shadowy figure leading her
Into a car that stole her innocence,
And a part of me died inside.
But as I walked, in that same little town,
I saw a woman sheltering kids
Who had no other place to go.
She tied bows in their hair
And fed them warm food,
And I smiled in my heart.
But then I saw, in that same little town,
An older woman, her face turned down
In shame at the whispers
That caused her fingers to be bare
And her house to be empty.
But then I saw, in that same little town,
An old lady, with a crinkly smile on her face,
In a soup kitchen with men and women,
With bows in their hair, serving warm food
And she looked at me and said,
"Stranger, I have seen you five times now.
Won't you have this bowl of soup?
And a warm place to sleep?"

And I, Death, respectfully accepted and said,
*"Yes, if you are ready."
This snuck up on me out of nowhere.
I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
188 · May 2017
The Most Beautiful Thing
James Scanlan May 2017
What is the most beautiful thing
You have ever seen?

Dandelions in the sun
Growing on rolling hills
Among vibrant green grass
Or maybe
A snowflake midway between
Pale blue sky and soft white ground
Frozen perfect in the air
Or maybe
A lion roaming the plains
Golden, strong, majestic
Protecting his precious pride
Or maybe
Your child playing and laughing
In your home while wearing
a shirt that is inside-out
Or maybe
A smile, full of joy
Pure and unrestrained
With a warmth that you can feel

What is the most beautiful thing
You have ever seen?
186 · Jun 2017
James Scanlan Jun 2017
I'm in love with you
And I'm pretty sure you like me too
But. . .
Even I know the timing is wrong
So I call you friend and hope
For the day when we can be *more
184 · Feb 2017
Dreams of war
James Scanlan Feb 2017
I dreamed of war
I was a hero
Fighting countless enemies
Somehow not killing
Or killed
I fantasized about war
Bloodless heroics
I played it out
In my youth
But then
My father told me of war
Of his personal experiences
He softened the truth
But it still shocked me
War is not bloodless
Soldiers and people
**** and are killed
War is not heroic
Although some people are
I know the truth now
I dreamed of war
They are nightmares
176 · Feb 2017
A New Story
James Scanlan Feb 2017
“Who’s that?” they say
When they hear my name
“I almost forgot him.”

My life was good, for a while
Then a wrong step was taken
By others or me, I do not know
Step by step, my life became worse
I retreated into myself, thinking I could handle it

“Oh really?” they say
When they hear what I tried
“I’m not surprised.”

Wrist scarred, neck bruised
Failed attempts due to ignorance
Not lack of want
They sent me away to get help
But no one understood

“Hello.” He said
Another one I thought
“Let’s get you new feet.”

“Why should I get you back to normal?” he said
“When normal is what caused this?
Why go back to a life not worth living?
What is something you have not done?”
“Why?” I asked
“To try it.” He said

“In Europe!” they exclaimed
At the new gossip
“Skydiving too?”

The first thing did not help
Nor the second
But then I found
In somewhere I had not looked
The strong heartbeat of my

“Why go back to the same story?” he said
“When you know how it ends. Instead,
Try something new.”
A friend of mine is mourning someone who committed suicide.
I wish I could have given that person the same advice the speaker of my poem got.
173 · Mar 2017
Reminders of You
James Scanlan Mar 2017
I saw a field of daffodils today
And a host of butterflies among them
There was one with bright green spots
And one with dark blue stripes
And one that reminded me of you

I visited the seashore today
I walked along picking up shells
A twisty, curly one that made me smile
And one with a crab that made me laugh
And one that reminded me of you

I soared the skies today
Looking at the clouds floating outside
One of them looked like a bunny
And one like a baseball bat
And one that reminded me of you

I cried in my bed today
My tears staining the pillow
One looked like a broken heart
The other like a lonely road
And one that reminded me of you
173 · Mar 2017
James Scanlan Mar 2017
My heart beats faster,
As I wait for the lightning
To flash yellow again.
God this is addicting!
To share secret, ever silent thoughts,
And to find acceptance and appreciation.
To look at countless other thoughts
Written and shared with me!
I read once more.
I write once more.
I wait for the lightning to flash yellow once more!
168 · Feb 2017
The Ignored
James Scanlan Feb 2017
I laugh, I love, I cry
You do not see me
I live, I hurt, I die
You do not care
I make, I shape, I create
You have your amusements
I hope, I pray, I wait
You like things nice and neat
I am far away, I am pushed away, I am
166 · Jul 2017
Four Words
James Scanlan Jul 2017
It's funny how words
Can express so much

I want to die

The first, and happiest,
Sentence to change my life
I love you too

It hurts so much

The second sentence,
On the best day of my life,
Yes I'll marry you

I'm sorry. . . so sorry

The third, on the day
My world fell apart,
I. . . I have cancer

But I just can't

The last was on the day
My heart died
She suffered so much
Braver than me
Brave almost all the time  
Almost. . .

*I want to die
164 · Apr 2017
James Scanlan Apr 2017
Love at first sight.
What a cliché.
More like lust at first sight.
But how else do I explain
What I felt when first
I saw you.
You were in the rain,
Face turned up and a smile tugging at your lips.
I still feel the pleasant pain
That pierced my heart
When I heard you laugh.
Love at first sight.
I guess I am
A Cliché.
162 · Apr 2017
Good Morning
James Scanlan Apr 2017
The smell of coffee, fresh brewed.
Sunlight dappling the curtains
And the warmth of a blanket

Breath in deeply the numerous scents
Grass, I never knew it smelt so good,
A breeze from the bakery,
And the bacon and eggs already made.

Thanks said and prayer over
Eyes closed and mouth chewing
Hunger satisfied and a glass of OJ
Morning business calls

Freshly shaved, with hair gelled
And clean clothes.
Walk outside and hear the chirping of nature
Passerbys greet politely
"Good morning!"

It truly is.
I woke up on the right side of the bed
162 · Feb 2017
As She Cries
James Scanlan Feb 2017
As she cries
They stop and stare
Pity in their eyes
Sympathy too

As she cries
And falls by my feet
Unable to stand
The sudden sharp pain

As she cries
Below my strong, powerful figure
They rush to help
And shield her from pain

But then
They look at me
And stop in fear
Of a Father's Tear
160 · Feb 2017
James Scanlan Feb 2017
My Heart beats faster
In Fear of you finding out
In Hope of you finding out
158 · Mar 2017
A Tree and a Garden
James Scanlan Mar 2017
A tree outside my house
Blossomed when she died.
It seemed wrong. Why should there be
Such beauty before me,
When there is such ugliness inside me?
Why should there be pretty colors,
When my world is dark and grey?
I burned down that tree,
In a drunken fit of rage,
And screamed at the world
Until the lights flashed red and blue.
After I got back, all calmed down and
Collected, I ****** on its ashes,
And passed out on the bed.
After the funeral, I looked out in my yard
And saw flowers
Budding from the ashy ground.
I see her now,
Beauty That Was Destroyed
Only to live again.
There is a garden outside my house
And in my Heart,
And it blossoms every Spring.
157 · May 2017
James Scanlan May 2017
Life gave me lemons
Simple as that
Others may make lemonade
Or something like that
But I was hungry
So I ate them
157 · Nov 2017
A Piece of String
James Scanlan Nov 2017
I heard a story
Some time ago
Of an Elephant
Powerful and Wise
And a String
Thin as a hair

But the Elephant
Was not always Powerful
Nor Wise
And the String had begun
As an Iron Chain

From birth the Elephant
Strained and struggled
Against the Iron Chain
But always failed
To be free of it

Then came the day
The Elephant gave up
And tried no more
Not long after
The Iron Chain
Shriveled into String

And til this day
That Elephant
Who grew to be Powerful
And Wise
Is held back
By a frail and weak
Piece of String
What hold you back?
151 · Feb 2017
I Live My Life
James Scanlan Feb 2017
I live my life
I live my life
Without a care
I live my life
Not knowing it's unfair
I live my life
Under a merciless stare
I live my life
Until the truth is bare
I lived my life
Until I was aware
-Life of a cow
151 · Feb 2017
Love Blinds
James Scanlan Feb 2017
It's funny how the
Problems of others
Seem so clear
And sometimes the
Answers too
"So silly!" I say
"Why don't they just..."

But when it comes to Her
Beyond my hands is a
Wall of Fog
I stumble into Everything
"So silly!" They say
"Why doesn't he just..."
149 · May 2017
Fork in the Path
James Scanlan May 2017
I came upon a fork in my path
And there was one less traveled than the other

Take the beaten path
That many people can't be wrong
It's best to be safe

Take the path less traveled
Because it is traveled less
Conform to unconformity

I strode straight ahead
Choosing neither path
And to my surprise, I came upon a place
Hidden from prying eyes
And I stayed a long while
Content with my life
Until I traveled once more
To places unknown
149 · Jun 2017
James Scanlan Jun 2017
Weary, wet, and wondering why,
I sat and stared at passers-by.
Next to me with an umbrella
Sat a dignified and morose fella
Who had gotten to that certain age
Where he acted like a sage
Passing wisdom to men such as I
Who were young and caught his eye

Young Man do you know
The most precious things in life?
Not the money, fame, or power
That causes so much strife,
But the moments opportune
That occur only once
In a very blue moon
And are never seen again.

"And what moments are these?"
I said looking to please
A man past his prime
By giving him a moment of my time

The exhilarating and petrifying moment
When you're looking in a pretty girl's eyes
And she's bitting her lower lip
Her cheeks are slightly red
And you can stay silent like always
Or muster all of your
and Fortitude
And ask your crush out

The terrifying and unavoidable moment
When mere months later you realize
Your heart is hers to do with as she pleases
And then she asks that question

What are We?
And you can either casully brush it off
Or make vulnerable your heart and tell the truth

That common but complex moment
That men of morals greatly debate
When between
or Fortune
You must decide

And what choices did you make?
Tell me for goodness' sake!

All the right choices, he said
*But one
My longest poem yet!
148 · Feb 2017
James Scanlan Feb 2017
I like you.
I said it.
To myself.
You still don't
148 · Apr 2017
James Scanlan Apr 2017
I'm Drowning
Drowning in an Ocean
An Ocean of Longing
Longing for Something
Something Missing

Tsunami waves crash upon me
Battering my Mind, my Heart
My Soul
The Tide rises
And Rises
Until it leaks Out
And Saltwater trickles
Down my cheeks

I Drift and Float
Until my Heart grows Heavy
And I Sink
And Drown
In an Ocean of Longing
For Something
147 · Mar 2017
What is Love
James Scanlan Mar 2017
What is Love?
Love is mysterious.
I can't understand it.
But it makes me feel alive.

What is Love?
Love is a chemical reaction in our brains.
Simple biology.
A means to motivate the species to reproduce.

What is Love?
Love is pain.
Heartbreak and Sadness.
The worst thing that can happen to you.

What is Love
Love is my mother's arms.
Surrounding me as I drift to sleep.
Comforting me when I need it.

What is Love?
I... think it is...
The feeling when...
She looks at me...

What is Love?
Love is what you tell
The girls you feel
In order to sleep with them.

What is Love?
Love is forty years.
Forty years together,
Looking towards forty more.

What is Love?
Don't ask me.
I don't know,
I haven't found it yet.
147 · May 2017
James Scanlan May 2017
I have many Masks

The Stranger Mask
Polite and well-adjusted
It is a facade of falsehood
Shown to strangers
Who do not know me

My Work Mask
Professional and dependable
A monotonous existence
That stifles and smothers
Who I want to be

The Mask for Family
Obedient and loving
It is who I used to be
But a little different
From who I've become

A Friendly Mask
Joyful and content
It is my favorite mask
For it shows someone
Who fits well with others
But it is not all of who I am

The Dark Mask
Hidden and fearful
It is worn only when
I am alone
It is the truest lie
I tell myself

I have many Masks
Only God knows my Face
145 · Jun 2017
James Scanlan Jun 2017
I thought parallel lines
Were the saddest things
Similar interests, humour, and feelings
Perfect for each other
But never meeting

But now I know
something sadder
Two lines, just about to meet,
When one
137 · Feb 2017
James Scanlan Feb 2017
The storm rages about

I throw my arms wide
The rain hits my widely grinning face
I breath in that wild scent
The wind strives to shove me into Space
Others flee for shelter while
I laugh at the world trying to put me in place

I am completely alive
135 · Jun 2017
Feeling... Weird
James Scanlan Jun 2017
It's getting late and I'm feeling
And when I'm tired I feel...
Things just pop into my
Like calling up your
And farting into it
133 · Feb 2017
Hidden by a Screen
James Scanlan Feb 2017
I look at the world
Not hidden by a screen
Does no one else see
The beauty of the moment?

I take in the world
The azure sky above
Where cotton floats by
And bright birds fly high

I sense the world
The smell of the storm
The taste of the sea
The softness of the grass

I look at the world
In all its splendor
Will you raise your head
And look at it with me?
131 · Jun 2017
James Scanlan Jun 2017
The path I tread
Has been travelled before
I follow in footsteps that are confident
That are hesitant
That are strong
That are weak

The path I tread
Has stopping points
For those who can't go further
For those who turn back
For those who rest
For those who slow down

The path I tread
Is a difficult one
With steep hills and sharp rocks
With pitfalls and snares
With bandits and theives
With temptation and lies

The path I tread
Has peace and tranquility
Has a beautiful view
Has pleasant company
Has many loved ones
At the end
129 · Jun 2017
James Scanlan Jun 2017
The poems I write
Have changed for me
I used to worry
Over whether
People liked them
Or not
But now...
They have become my solace
They are where
I vent my soul

When I feel happy
I write
When I feel sad
I write
When I am exhausted
I write
When I am ecstatic
I write
Every day
I write
It brings me peace
128 · Nov 2017
Time Traveler
James Scanlan Nov 2017
I am a time traveler
Not really, but I might as well be
You see, my heart lives in the past
No more than a few decades ago
Yet it might as well be centuries
We have changed that much
Where today, can you find a woman
And a man
Who court each other?
Who spend time getting to know each other
Before making love?

When I say time I am talking months
Not weeks
Or days
Or even hours
Months where two strangers talk
Go on adventures
Watch movies, sports, and even theater
Until they are no longer strangers
Until they know each other
Until they love each other
And only then
Do they express that love

This is the time in which my heart lives
And I do not see it today
So how can I help but say
I am a time traveler
125 · Feb 2017
James Scanlan Feb 2017
I've always heard it
But this time I'm
Saying it.

Am I really leaving?

I don't know
anyone over there. I'll
be all alone. For the
first time.

What's it going to be like?

I don't know.
But I will find out
Soon. It's my turn to say
122 · Jul 2017
James Scanlan Jul 2017
My soul is incomplete

Day by day I feel it more
Festering like an open sore
A desire deep inside
A truth from which I cannot hide

It is not a wound
It is not a pain
All efforts to heal it
would be in vain

My Soul is incomplete

It is cake without frosting
Adam without Eve
Fries without ketchup
A priest who does not believe

My soul is incomplete

Day by day
I search for you
All I hope is
That you do too
So that when the time comes
That we do meet
No longer will
My soul be *Incomplete
122 · Jun 2017
James Scanlan Jun 2017
When did the excitement

die out

When did the roaring fire

start smouldering

When did the endless enchantments


When will it start

121 · Mar 2017
James Scanlan Mar 2017
My face is blank
Amidst teasing and joking
It rarely changes
Nothing seems to faze it
It looks like a mask
What might be hidden behind it?
No one ever asked before
My face is blank
Except when I'm
With you
118 · Feb 2017
What I Want
James Scanlan Feb 2017
What I want
Is not a perfect body
Nor a pretty face
Or even anyone who will take me

What I want
Is not a compatible personality
Nor an interesting life
Or even anyone with common interests

What I want
Is someone who understands me
When I open myself to Her
Someone who opens up to me

What I want
Is the real thing
118 · Feb 2017
Inspiration Strikes!
James Scanlan Feb 2017
Inspiration Strikes!
Suddenly words keep flowing,
Shaping something new.
Where does it come from?
Who cares!
Just write what you can while
Inspiration Strikes!
If only it happened more often
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