james arthur casey

james arthur casey Dec 2013

In the Light of the Holy
In the Light of the Holy
I can finally see beyond the Looking Glass
Questions few can bring themselves to ask
     I have found some Answers
For the Future and the Past
     No longer matter
In the Light of the Holy

In the Light of the Holy
In the Night there are songs I've heard
That Lift my Spirit to the Starlit Sky
That force the Teardrops from my stubborn Eye
     and I feel no Shame
Illuminate the Truth behind the Lie
     and ease the Pain
In the Light of the Holy

I will take no chances, it is worth the risk
No Sacrifice to see the World like this
My sole Regret is everything I missed
Before I opened my eyes
Before I opened my Mind

In the Light of the Holy
And the Light of the Holy
Shines brighter than it ever has before
Reflecting on the banks of Heaven's shore
     bright as sunshine
In the Light of the Holy

james arthur casey Nov 2013

The Old Familiar (featuring alignment to the right this time)

Music fails
God turns a blind eye
If only for a moment
Lost to me forever

I asked my friend to fill me in
This season out of time
Out of touch and out of mind
He knew all the clues and the juicy details
Tasked to remember that night
For this moment of truth
Serendipitously placed in this time and space
To remind me of days soon faded away
To shine the bright light of cold reason

With all I believed I never conceived
I was capable of ******
But when my head was pulled from the dream
The static uncertainty shocked me
A mean and relentless electricity
I couldn't fool or convince myself
I was part of this world
Far from the gaze of YWVH's stare

My friend tried to pull me out
To wake me from this violent dream
Eyes wide open, he wondered what I'd seen

I saw him the carrion hungry to feed
Miserable mercury, come to tell me the game had only just begun
A player on a vast stage, told to hunt me down
Bring me back to square one, full circle 'round
After so many years I'd tried to forget
The paranoia that read others' thoughts and words
As encouragement to me, but all that I heard
Were lies and cruel manipulations designed
To build up my hopes cuz the higher they flew
The harder they fell
It's what they liked to do

So I turned on my friend, neither he or the Lord
Would put me through that again
I would have killed him
I would have broken every bone in his body
I told him as much

The only thing I remembered, until now,
Was the cop right behind me and the cuffs 'round my wrists
That and silently wondering why
And what all had happened when God closed His eye

Silently riding along the state highway
Sitting uncomfortable, metal at my spine
The cop turned on the radio
I didn't think they could do that
Grateful Dead, "Friend of the Devil"
I smiled
It sounded good

james arthur casey Oct 2013

seeds

I want to share but I fear
The things I offer
Will be useless, unwanted by others.
Through painful experience
I've come to this conclusion.

I'd give it all away
If only someone wanted it.
Mine, all mine, mine alone
But none of it worth keeping
If I can't enjoy it with you.

Pick me clean before I leave
Behind these aspects.
Take what you want, take what you need
But take it, take it all from me
Before the rushing wind blows it all away.

Before the rushing wind
Kindles baptizing fire
To burn all I ever was to ashes
For to fill the gold or silver urn,
Precious to friends blessed by generosity.

A blessing I was more than willing to bestow
With love, thankfulness and appreciation.
All I had to share were seeds of memories.
I can only pray
The harvest will be bountiful.

james arthur casey Oct 2013

something about my life?

You wanna know something about my life?
I was born under somewhat unusual circumstances
Ripped from my mother's womb by force
Of necessity
I laid her out and put her down
While I got my bearings
They say I roared like a lion in the jungle
Kicking like a mad *** ridden by my father
Who, I'm told, never wanted kids in the first place
I set my course to curse the time he had left
His seed had sprouted into ****
So I choked those last days good and strong
To crawl back to my mother's tomb
Lay me down to sleep and dream
Of comforting placenta
Until an all too patient God
Brought him back to her
Together again, food for the worms
And it was time for me to leave
That stone was only meant for two

james arthur casey Sep 2013

glow-in-the-dark

I walked in on my dad
He was watching ******* on the Internet
The sounds of animals fighting
Through tiny computer speakers
Had woken me up

The room was midnightdark
I know he couldn't see me
Bathing in the glow
Dimming and brightening
With each new camera angle

I crept out of the room, quiet as a mouse
Laid down in bed and closed my eyes
I didn't know what to do
I fell asleep to the rutting noises
Of nameless acquaintances, forgotten within the hour

When I was a kid, afraid of the moon
My dad gave me a glow-in-the-dark figurine
Of the infant Jesus
I still have it somewhere
It still glows

james arthur casey Sep 2013

Glowing Soul

To wonder at the sound of another's heartbeat
and marvel at the rising and falling
The colors of the rainbow first filling wide open eyes
how they take the breath away
Claiming shapes and sounds and smells
the entire universe a pile of jigsaw puzzle pieces
One day fit together
to reveal the most beautiful reflection

To hear every sound for the first time
and know silence as ending and beginning
From within
the spirit remembers
Struggling against and with another spirit
the soul is molded
Almost a fog, hovering around the body
it glows

Mine had grown dim
had become heavy as stone
A mocking albatross
with no patience for sluggish maturity
I'd begun to question it's very existence
convinced by a hateful science
Beaten so badly with the cudgel of years
I longed to be rid of it

Until you came along with your angel song
the very sound of our beating heart
Like the winging of birds
in free fall, ecstatic
You dragged me out of hell with the ringing of your voice
the singing of a song that pulled me into heaven
The sound of newborns crying in amazement
at the very rhythm of life itself
How bittersweet it is to surrender you
to the quiet from where you were born
I would hold on forever
but you fade even as my heart is filled
Not gone...
merged, quiet, waiting
You leave me knowing
you will never leave me
For you have become my soul
a partner in sound and silence
See the miracle of music
it glows

This poem was inspired by the music of Sigur Ros and written while listening to "Takk"

james arthur casey Aug 2013

Sigur Rós played Fljótavík

Sigur Rós played Fljótavík
A reverent calm
Between bookends of heaven's thunder
We were, everyone of us
Hypnotized, given over to a beauty
So consuming
Like water to drown in

I don't know how long into the song
But a thought of you broke into my heart
Experimenting with chords
Trying to hit the high notes
Failing, even so all the more endearing
Those notes were really high
And you tried

I wanted to give you something good, pure
Something to remember me by
To take the edge off the bitter memories
I blame on depression
Memories nonetheless, ones that loom large
Proven by miles and miles and miles
Between

So I wanted to give you something good, real
To serve as a bridge to one day cross
Above a dry river bed
That should have been teeming with water

As Jonsi hit the really high falsetto notes
I felt something like a bolt of lightning strike through my very being
He hit them perfectly
But that's not what I heard
That's when I felt that old familiar bittersweet feeling
In the pit of my stomach
And had to fight to keep my mouth from twisting
I finally surrendered to the feeling that words will never describe
But I kept the tears from dripping down my eyes
Barely

And soon enough I was glad the song was over
Even while wishing it would never end

I sat back in my seat
I looked around to see if anyone noticed the anguish in my face
I had to confess to a strong sense of paranoia
Because really, who would take their eyes off of the stage
When Sigur Rós plays Fljótavík?