I hate myself.
Not physical me.
Or social me.
Mental me.
She loves to plan my down fall
And laugh at my defeat.
If only she knew she holds us together
Maybe she would stop tearing us apart
Shes constantly stabbing me
In places where I'm happy,
Shes hurting me. Shes hurting we.
If only she could see
That one day, because of her there could be no we.

I thought losing you,
Was bad.

But when I take a step back,
It's the best thing
that's happened to me

When I was with you,
I constantly feared the worst.

But now,
I have nothing to fear

Without you my chains are released
And it feels so great,

To be free.

I shouldn't be frustrated.
I should not be mad.

But something inside me,
Tells me I am.

I've denied the feeling,
Whatever it is.

To try and be happy.
Shall I begin?

You met up with her,
You guys are just friends.

I trust your decisions,
To my very ends.

But something inside me,
Crawls to my head.

Starts complaining,
A small shallowly beg.

Get out I will say,
Every time!

But it tells me.
That you're not only mine?!

This creature comes,
Quite often I believe.

I goes by a name,
Jealousy.

But that's not the only name,
It goes by so many.

The green eyed like grass,
Somethimes even envy.

I despise it greatly,
If only I could see.

That this creature or....feeling,
Is a part...of me.

I didn't think,
I could be okay.

I didn't believe,
I could be happy.

I didn't wish,
For someone new.

I didn't want,
To move on so quick.

I didn't have,
The the strength to carry on.


I didn't know,
You were the answer.

I seek you.
Through a forest of hollow dreams
I search desperately
Through holes in empty trees.

I panic
With out you here
I cry
In deepening fear.

I cant lose you.
I'll paint the lies.
And search the world,
Heaven, and skies.

The clouds the color of choked up grass
I don't believe I've ever ran this fast.

I'm bewildered in agony
As I scream.
And the possibilities
of what this means

I wake up yelling covered in fear.
It's nothing new
To no longer see you here.

But the pain still hurts
Like frozen deserts and glass
I don't know how
To find peace atlast