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Maybe the signs have no meaning
Maybe there’s no lines to read between

Maybe my soul needs something deeper
Maybe I’ll never find someone who is a keeper
Someone who fills my cup
Someone who helps me up
When I’m down.

Small talk and pointless conversations, I can’t take
Maybe I should just give up
Maybe my needs won’t ever be met
Maybe my standards are too high
Maybe I’ll never find the right guy

Am I asking too much?
Wanting deep conversations until dusk.

No I’m not mad
No I’m not upset
I’m just disappointed that you may end up being just like the rest.

Yes you’re sweet
Yes you’re kind
So please don’t make me change my mind

I feel so stupid for picturing a future so soon
When I’m still a caterpillar still in her cocoon
My growth is continuous
Although I feel like an emotional mess
I’m only a book half unread

I know I’m just overthinking and in my head
This doesn’t matter and it’s not the end
It’s time for me to take a step back
And realize I’m just being over dramatic again

I’ll just surround myself around those who care
And forget about the fact that I wish you were there

Maybe showing no emotions is the way to go
Deciding to hold back and never show
Stay silent and let them come to me
Then maybe I’ll see I’m worth something

This isn’t over as it’s only just begun
We are a love song that has yet too be sung
On day one, you say hello and let me get to know you. As you start to talk, I become intrigued by you.
On day three, things already progress. We talk in ****** phrases and I picture my head on your chest.
Day four, you make me feel like this could be something real. I see what I hope to have the rest of my life, I wonder how you feel.
Day five, I start fantasizing what it’d be like to be yours. All I want to do is talk with you more and more.
Day six, I do something impulsive and book a flight. The things I am starting to feel for you, I just can’t fight it.

On day seven, I start to question:
What if this is too good to be true?
What if you’re red and I am blue?
What if you decide that a lilac sky isn’t for you?

Maybe you’ll be my favorite sunrise and I’ll be your favorite sunset.
It’s just so strange I feel this way when we haven’t even met yet.
You smile on camera and I can’t look away
My oh my, I just hope you stay.
  Sep 1 Josalyn Diana
Alexis K
A poet once said:
grief is the overflowing of love.
I didn't believe her then.

But now as I pour my love,
In to your tea cup heart,
It overflows.

Pints... no,
Gallons.
Gallons of my love onto the floor.
It goes unnoticed,
Because your cup is full.

I wish I could give you all my love.
I wish you could accept it.
I wish it didn't hurt to watch it overflow.
I wish above all,
I knew how to stop pouring.
This could be the brightest love or the hardest heartbreak
You whisper my name as we stay up too late

Where did you come from? Where have you been?
I’ve been waiting for you to arrive; Please, love, come in.

Your smile brightens my world
I look for you in the night sky
You’re now my own personal drug; I’ve never felt quite this high

My mind’s thoughts are now only of you
Your lips, your eyes, and your dreams too

This could be the brightest love or the hardest heartbreak
I want to know every inch of you, no matter how long that takes

These thoughts just keep coming, visions of you kissing me. This turned into something quite effortlessly.

The way I’ll feel when you’re standing right there
Another vision starts and now you’re touching my hair
I look up at you and you look down at me
For the first time in my life I’m not afraid to be seen

You’ve re-sparked a passion that’s been hidden within me
How did this turn into something so naturally?

Your mind is a maze that I can’t wait to forego,
Finally, I feel as if I am home.

This could be the brightest love or the hardest heartbreak
If it is the latter,
Let me die before I wake.
08.31.24
Josalyn Diana May 2020
Why am I drawn to men like you like a moth to a flame?
The moth is so enthralled by the flames beauty, it doesn’t notice the heat. The burn. The pain.

Until it’s too late.

Is it a longing to help those in need? Is it a desperate need for a connection? Is it an attraction to an abused breed? Is it because I’m searching for protection?

Will I ever learn or am I stuck in this cycle?

Will it always be a fight between the Lion and the Lamb? Or Is it just a deep part of who I am? Is it the way I can relate to a bad past? Or Is it the subconscious thought that it will never last?

Either way, there’s smoke in my lungs and my wings are on fire. Again, I’m in too deep. It’s time to say goodbye to you, dear Michael.
5.30.2020
  Apr 2018 Josalyn Diana
Waldo
The changing of the seasons
Affects my fickle mood
I'm running out of reasons
To drink water or eat food
I'll just ignore the demons
With the screen to witch I'm glued
There is no hope nor beacon
Just suffering to be viewed
After my soul's been beaten
Dripping blood and black and blue
No answers from the deacon
No solution from the pews
No serotonin secretion
Caused by that ****** Mary shrew
So I wait for the completion
Of my spring and winter blues.
Josalyn Diana Apr 2018
When you’re happy: take a step back, look around, and appreciate what you have. A lot will change in a year.

When you’re sad: take a step back, breathe, and don’t worry. Remember, a lot will change in a year.
4.6.18.
2:46 am
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