I used to check
If you had written
A poem
Almost everyday
Now I expect
That you are smitten
alone
And far away
I used to let
The clovers and crimson
Postpone
My decay
But now that I've slept
On nails of riddance
I'm not home
Anywhere I stay.

I think of her dying
I don't see myself surviving
The strongest soul is not of a lion's
It's the one that is tired
From loving others
It's not fair but it's what's on our horizon
Have you seen the sun?
I haven't opened my eyes in a while...

How do I learn from the darkness
That never unvailes
How do I raise my head
When Im already a shadow
How do I pick up the pieces
Hanging from the gallows
The mind stands still
And the water is
Forever too shallow
To dive.

Why do I feel
When I'm so lost
My thoughts
Are what makes me want
To give up
If I only held my tongue
Maybe all my wrongs
Would be right
But the serpent inside me
Doesn't trust
Anyone.

I am everything wrong
With myself
I am
My worst fears
And my doubts
If it wasn't for me
Maybe I wouldn't hate
Everyone else.

have you ever loved someone so deep
you forgive them
for breaking you
and still —
wish them the best?
Have you?

Sometimes I think
Could the sun be too bright
Or could this all be a fault in my mind
Just gravitating towards the light
That I've designed
To heal
But maybe it's not real
Could my mind tell such lies?
Or have I just disguised
My sadness.

If i could find my soul
I'd ask if it would grow
And free me of this body
That always finds misfortune
Sometimes I wish I was alone
More alone than you can imagine
Sometimes I feel so much sadness
That not even tears could ration
Sometimes my thoughts are not passion
But bleak ideals
That take hold without asking
Sometimes I wish it was only
Sometimes
But sometimes is forever passing.