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Let the silence in you
Be your everyday guest.
Hatred isn't always knives and guns aimed at hearts
Sometimes it is fiery words in legislation that authorises the building of walls
And the banning of free movement
Sometimes hate disguises itself as safety and security but really it is still just hate
serendipitous memories
and wistful sighs
cherry blossom petals
twirling amidst the skies
efflorescent flowers
ephemeral hours
ethereal sunsets
and starry constellations

anguished thoughts
and secret frustrations
incandescent candles burn
as if awaiting your return
anguish and lingering despair
heartbreak and hollow emptiness
caused by unforsaken pettiness

merely the potential difference
between requited love
and bittersweet limerence
why is limerence so painful?
Take me back
To the mountains
From where I came
To forever stay

The place where I was forged
Most do not stray
For reasons you may not see
But we see our memories
Too prominent to ever leave
God's gold
is the sun
the purpose
the reason
the giver of life
the chariot of fire
boldly
becomes boundless
the
unthinkable
i
am sure
but
finally
We are fulfilled
the
light inside of us
Death is here
But you'll not fade
These memories
They will blaze
Love was not said
It was always there
All of the pain
Was worth your gain
Hearts here hurt
Because you're in the dirt
 Jan 2017 Jaclyn Harlamert
alasia
How long will it take her to understand that your blood is laced with loneliness?
That the smoke staining her tongue cannot subdue the angry taste of your mouth?
That the hands that hold her neck want to strangle the air encased under skin
and no song
or word
or feeling
can dilute you.
why did I wish you cared enough to **** the life out of me?
Why I wasn't enough to ****.
You play with my insecurities like kittens,
laughing at how they can't jump high enough
teasing with what's just out of reach,
I was a mouse weaving through the holes
I thought
I had gnawed in you
but your hands stopped me in my place:
put me in my place.
I am nothing but a comfort when the weight of the world
lands on your chest,
I'm your oxygen mask
as the plane starts to crash
and you swore up and down you loved me
but years have made it clear you don't know what that means.
Your words are an empty void
I would gravitate towards them,
let myself get ****** in
you told me I'm different
that you didn't want to hurt me
though years of pain beg to differ.
I should have called you puppet master  
instead I called you dear
and I have realized I deserve better,
that I don't have any more years to give you,
but I still craved your attention
and your jealousy
as though I could teach you love and how to feel it right.
But at 16 I had you figured out;
you've only regressed since then.
and I should be used to people letting me down;
etching their names in my heart as a reminder
but you were supposed to be the cure.
The end to my self imposed suffering.
You bring no good to me,
trap me in the light of the child I used to be,
and your name haunted my lips like the last time you
kissed
me
but none of this would ease how I wanted you to hurt me.
Prove you cared with your actions.
Your words are white noise.
I need to focus on the swollen melody my heart is performing.
But how do I find closure,
To what will always feel
Business
 Jan 2017 Jaclyn Harlamert
kiera
i will never again wrap my arms around you
in the same way that i will never again
wrap my mind around the idea that i was not enough for you.
i am enough and i will always be enough.
i am all that i have
At the end of the day when the sun is not there
to give my thoughts and surroundings a warm glow
and there are no voices or bodies around but my own
all that i have and all that matters
is what exists behind my eyelids
it is there that i grow and turn darkness into my canvas
for raising light, love, and potential
while my body slowly ages.
i am enough
or else you did not see me.
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