Would it hurt you if I ****** a "Brittany"?
Would it hurt you more

If you knew it's killing me.

after five months
My eyes are still burning

It took me one month to sleep in your bed again
And ever since then,
I've wondered if it's too soon.
She's laying on you
and in your sheets
I can't get her ******* scent out of my mind.

You must've liked her?
She's been here more than once.

I can still feel her
through you.
I hope you know she's in the back of my mind,
shelved on my earlobes.
I cannot let her go.
And I wonder
Are her fingers still wrapped around your ****?
Because no matter how many flowers you give me
She's there in my ribs.
I can't force new growth
with her twisted wrists intertwining my bones.
Locked into her breaths,
I am choking on confusion.
And now you want to say she had feelings too?
She's a good person, too?
****.
You.





Her name is as generic as her type.
I cannot let her go.

I'm not sure why I cried,
weeping for what I thought were missed July's.
You sat across from me
The second time I tried to break up with you.

It wasn't enough till the third.

You had consumed me whole
and I couldn't look at myself in you any more,
I am sorry
I should have done it sooner.

I am sure you felt his laugh in me
and heard the way I said his name
The fingerprints on my tongue
were never yours
dusted tip to tip

I am sure you tasted his spit.

I am so sorry
I should have done it sooner

When I came to pick up my life
from your clutches of the back room
You taped a note on the mirror that said
Be happy
It wasn't intended for me.
And for the first time in two years
I felt a crack in my heart for you
I realized I still had your smile

I didn't mean to keep your senses
They must have jumped in my pockets when I left
And no matter how many times you wash your clothes
I know my scent is in every shirt
Every thread
My lungs are still gasping in your curtains
Burning holes quicker than the sun

You should have opened them
You should have felt me free

I left you in the rubble of empty promises
and resurrected guilt
I am so sorry.
I should have done it sooner.

You told me there were alligators in your closet
Giant razor tooth beasts
Because I couldn't keep my back straight
and my legs still
Restless little girl
relentlessly you tapped my right shoulder.
I marked my place on your window shelf
a music box for every year
you lifted me through failure.
I have been a nervous waste since
before my hands could reach a 7th chord
you stretched me out
laid me flat
week by week
filled my weaknesses
with stumbled melodies...
I never tried hard enough for you.

When I knew you were on your last bed
I played Solfeggietto for the first time in 2 years
But I couldn't drown my fear to go see you.

I didn't say goodbye
and I haven't played.
You were a dream
an angel Ann
if I believed in God.
But I hope you're in heaven
from the pits of my fingertips
I hope you're in heaven.

Ten years
you coached my hands into harmonies
across your own keys
I never said goodbye.
Ann,
I never said goodbye.

You told me there were alligators in your closet
Giant razor tooth beasts
Because I couldn't keep my back straight
and my legs still
italicRestless little girlitalic
relentlessly you tapped my right shoulder.
I marked my place on your window shelf
a music box for every year
you lifted me through failure.
I have been a nervous waste since
before my hands could reach a 7th chord
you stretched me out
week by week
letting me fill my weaknesses
with stumbled melodies...
I never tried hard enough for you.

When I knew you were on your last bed
I played Solfeggietto for the first time in 2 years
But I couldn't drown my fear to go see you.

I didn't say goodbye
and I haven't played.
You were a dream
an angel Ann
if I believed in God.
But I hope you're in heaven
from the pits of my fingertips
I hope you're in heaven.

Ten years
you coached my hands into harmonies
across your own keys
I never said goodbye.
Ann,
I never said goodbye.

I realize now
I made you optional
Not required
Sweep my heart for fingerprints
and yours never left a trace
I lied when I told you
I love you
But I feel you in the pit of my gut
Wrenching
Every time you see my face
my eyes
in your reflection.
I'm sorry that I never gave you a choice
And I wish I had written your name on the list
But truthfully
I never did

Darling..
Darling..
I’ve got some nerve.
I know I’m not fair.
I’ve chased my head to another room,
I’ve lost it so many times.