Somehow I always find myself falling for the ones that are emotionally closed off.  

The too eager and loving are clingy in my mind.  
The frowning stern and cold are the ones that have me noose'd by my heart strings.  

It seems I'm a person who always moves to fill the voids.

I've been caught up abroad.  
Whirlpools of mixed feelings.  
If I think back,
It's always a broad.  

She seems nice and innocent.
Lively and petite.
But men for money she does sleep.

If you've spent some time
You'll know it's hard to judge.
When there are no other options.
I'd do the same - fudge

She has great qualities of those I've seen.
Simple needs and simple desires.  
Which drive a person world's apart.  
Maybe that's it and she's just too far.

We had a culture and a humility
That descended into poverty.
It's much and none.
Desperation and opportunity.

I see the beauty and the pain in the eyes.
Of those victims to this tourist culture.
That has us all losing our morality.
I was a person and now I have a price tag.

Traditions that hold us back as a people
That spiral the young naive and uneducated towards empty hearts.
Forced to partake at the mercy of baht.

We weren't always this way.

There was a time when you could make me fall right back to highschool.
The days of virginity and innocence.
Years between our encounters and you'd always be just beneath my breath.
So juvenile and oblivious to all the ways you'd disappoint.
So attached and forgiving.

I found myself at the end of your plank too many times.
Cannonball at my ankles.
Looking down your blade with the point in my neck.

I'll see you again soon...

I always used to feel.
But now I can't conjure the same devotion.
The image of you has finally muddied and spoiled.

I noticed this transition and felt the change somewhere along the way.
Affirmation that I don't need always live on that plank with my heels hanging off.

I do things and I say things.
I'm far from perfect.
Its clear I care about you.
Because this jealous rage isn't easy.
To hold onto the handles and say the right words.

I went and did it again.
I always do it again.
I don't know why you forgive me.
The way you do.
I just hope you can once more.
I'm trying to do better, to be better.

You'll always be the sun shining through my clouds.
One day I won't just be the bad weather.