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Jack Mandala Aug 3
months of articulate crafting
every curve
edge
splinter

shaved
she's beautiful.

just one more spot
one more nudge
make it perfect
what a beauty

make her part of my collection
front and center

but

one more curve
turns to another
correction
correction
correction

corrections turn to a revision
revision turns to a loss of the old
so perfect
but now so gone
goodbye old
hello new

too close to the sun
melting into the abyss

broken
handicapped
disposable


goodbye
gone forever
Jun 21 · 98
Little Flower
Jack Mandala Jun 21
You have so many petals to share
Intricate curves and edges
But they’re densely packed inside you

The bees are buzzing
Yearning for their fill
The crisp air
Waiting to flow through you

The rain didn’t replenish
The sunshine couldn’t nourish
The soil never uplifted
The child failed to pluck you

A perfect recipe with an imperfect outcome
The sunshine hits and your stems are scorched
The storm rolls and the rain turns to acid
The soil poisons your roots

What brings life to most deadens you
The strongest being couldn’t live like this
You cry out for an escape
So the shadows begin looming

The darkness ensues and the energy departs

The sunshine no longer scorches
The rain no longer corrodes
The soil no longer venom

The shadows are your refuge
Safe from the outside
The torment

But it’s lonely now
You miss what it felt like to feel

Empty

Open up little flower
Jun 21 · 207
are you here?
Jack Mandala Jun 21
friend
best friend
forever friend

where did you go
your warming presence
the glitter in your soul

where did you go
fear

so close to the sun
too frightened

shadows and storms protect you
encompass my aura
terror in your eyes

destruction in action
a shattered atmosphere
are you here?

dissociating
depersonalizing
disposing me

may your soul return soon
come back old friend
I think she has bpd
Nov 2018 · 573
magnetic
Jack Mandala Nov 2018
you transcend my existence
a beautiful new perspective
all i know is persistence
your aura is effective
Nov 2018 · 386
jolly
Jack Mandala Nov 2018
the air has called winter's name
hot cocoa nights in our future
bundle up and light a fire
Christmas carols play as we fill the house with festive spirit

maybe next year i guess
:/
Nov 2018 · 245
Distance
Jack Mandala Nov 2018
i took a trip to a spiritual place
with all my friends i would have next year
i didn't find you
where will it all go wrong?
Jack Mandala Jan 2018
Do any of you feel like you can't rely on anyone but yourself? My whole life has felt like that but tonight it's really hitting me.

It all started a few weeks ago when I asked this girl I liked to formal. It was quite a stretch considering the social boundaries that were already in place. I'm a senior and she is a junior and I had no connections to any of her volleyball friends. It may not seem like it but some girls need to feel like you are socially "accepted," and I was socially unknown.

When I asked her, she seemed really excited which made sense due to the energy and good vibes she would bring to conversations despite her extreme shyness (I seemed to do most of the talking). Then formal came around. Before we went to the dance, there was a pre-formal get-together at her friends house. We were there for about three hours before we left for the dance and it was a great opportunity for me to meet her friends and her social group. I made my date laugh many times and I truly felt like there was a deep emotional connection between us. I conveyed confidence and a sense of humor, but it was clear I was the odd man out.

As I'm driving her to the dance, we started talking and again and she gave off off many signs that she was into me. I'm usually pretty good at looking in to that kind of stuff and I felt something was there. Although when we got to the dance, things start getting pretty shady. We met up with her volleyball friends that were at the formal get-together but it became increasingly obvious at the time my date was either too shy to dance with me or she only wanted to be with her friends. After 30 minutes of awkwardly following her and her friends around without dancing with her, I decided to give her some space and proceeded to hang out with my friends for the majority of the night.

About an hour and a half after I left her, she found where I was and asked if I wanted to go to a party that was happening afterwards with her which led me to believe this was her trying to convey interest in me without putting herself out there. I agreed and we got in my car until about five minutes later when her friends insisted they couldn't go anymore, so she decided she wasn't going to go either (I can confirm that her friends weren't trying to get her out of hanging out with me and there was actually something that prevented them from going). So I dropped her off at her friend's car, still went to that same party, and called it a night.

The next morning I hit her up and told her I had a great night with her even though it was mostly *******, but I didn't want her to think I was mad for what actions took place (Ignoring me during the dance and ditching the party). Then Christmas break began and I was out of town for about a week and a half. While I was out of town, I decided the best way to get to know her and her friend group better was to throw a kickback since it became clear they rarely accepted new people into their group. Keep in mind that it's not just me and all of her girlfriends. One of my guy friends who is almost dating my formal date's best friend has gone to all of the events with me (pre-formal, the dance, the afterparty), and he was my only guy friend throughout this whole process.

Finally the day comes, I send them the address and then I get the dreadful question, "Who else is coming?" Side note: people who ask this question can honestly ******* because pretty much what they're saying is "is there anyone else coming that would make it worth going to?" Anyway, I told my date that it was just going to be my friend Nick (the guy that I mentioned earlier), her, and her other two close friends which she replied "that's it?" with no emojis. I proceeded to tell her yes and that I'm just keeping it small. I was left on open, but still assumed she and her friends were going to come.

I set the kickback to start at 8:00 PM until I get a text from her around 7:45 PM saying that she was sorry but neither her or any of her friends could make it. As for my one guy friend and the friends he was inviting, he said he was going to come but never bothered to actually show up. Fed up and frustrated, I decided to invite all of my friends that were in town to come to my house where we can all get ****** up. After anxiously waiting for an hour and a half, my friends started to show up and at the peak, around 7 people showed up which was actually pretty good considering it was Winter break and most of my friends were out of town. I snapchatted the whole thing and made it look really hype without looking like a tryhard and put it on my story to let the ******* that ditched me know that I could invite other people right on the spot and they would still manage to come through.

It was a great night and I was glad there were people that I could rely on once in my life, especially since my whole life I never found anyone I could rely on. It made me realize how cliquey high school is and how unwelcoming most people are to letting others join their friend group. No matter how good of an impression you make, certain people will still push you away if you don't meet their social standards. Anyway, I hope all of you guys have a nice rest of your day. Thank you for reading this.
Dec 2017 · 317
Lovesick
Jack Mandala Dec 2017
You know it's funny to think you would bring this upon me
An obsession that is driving me to the edge
Classmate at first glance and soulmate with deeper inspection
Beauty on the outside and mystery within

As I sip on this wine I look into your eyes
Some roses and a glimpse of euphoria is what I see
Your nature matches a silent film
Quiet, but impactful

My only anticipation is your reciprocation
A one way desination
You're more than a weekend vacation
Don't mistaken my straightforwardness for desperation
I'm beyond obsessed with you
Nov 2017 · 255
Anticipation
Jack Mandala Nov 2017
You went through the cycle and got washed out viciously

When I offered you solace and a loving heart you returned with  shade and a cold shoulder

You succumbed to the bad influence

The potential we had before you feel weak was insurmountable

But the cycle took full control of you

Two years later and you finally see the evil in his eyes

When you fought constant battles with him I was watching in the stands

But the game is over now, we can go home now

And return to our happy beginnings
Come home.
Sep 2017 · 521
Destiny
Jack Mandala Sep 2017
What is this desire?
I am in a washing machine being spun around in mixed feelings

You bring out the most joyful moments in my life, yet I feel the most sorrow when I think I am losing you

Even though I'm hurting inside, a part of me that was once a pitch black, empty abyss has now been lit with a fire greater than a thousand suns

You light my desires,
You light my *destiny
I hope you keep the fire burning
Sep 2017 · 282
The One
Jack Mandala Sep 2017
I know it's love at first sight
Her energy fills my desires with every word she speaks

The first five minutes spent with her felt like a vacation
The aroma of compatibility is a sweet scent

Even in the large crowd her voice is the only one I hear
Aug 2017 · 312
The One
Jack Mandala Aug 2017
I know it's love at first sight
Her energy fills my desires with every word she speaks

The first five minutes spent with her felt like a vacation
The aroma of compatibility is a sweet scent

Even in the large crowd her voice is the only one I hear
I know she is the one.
Jul 2017 · 284
A Pleasing Setting
Jack Mandala Jul 2017
It was an overcast night. The Moon cast an illumination across the gray sky which created an unusual sense of contentment.

As I was dozing off on the back of the boat, I zoned in on the constant ripples of the bay, containing a zig-zagged reflection of the architecture posted above it.

It was consistent. The small waves. Some looked like they were constantly chasing the boat, but could never catch up.

This awakened my senses. It looked as if the other ruffles were trapped under the navy blue blanket, yearning to break through the film by gliding in arbitrary directions. It was as if God was attempting to divulge some enlightenment I desperately needed. It was as if I had some connection to the seemingly near pitch-black setting.

And it came at an instant. The ripples either followed the boat, or went off in their own directions. Our lives can be compared to ripples in a bay. We have two choices. Attempt to fill someone else's shoes, or make your own. The constant chase towards the boat represents our desire to change ourselves to someone else- it won't produce the result we desire.

The other ripples make their own paths. Some gaining so much momentum, they become waves, crashing to shore with a bang. This is the result of creating our own lifestyle, based on our own ideas of happiness and success. Not all will make it to shore, but the ones that do sail in the path their own heart desires.
But then again it's just some **** waves
May 2017 · 270
Relief
Jack Mandala May 2017
❧ The struggle is over ❧

             It is as if the years of searching and uncertainty are slowly
                      draining out of my body with every day that goes by with you


                                          I never thought I could run across such a treasure

      Each hook up and **** up with the numerous women led me one step closer to you.

                I once took life as a game and my past lovers being the pieces.
    

Until I found out you were the piece that filled the void of contentment
      I surrendered my forces and fell under your control

       You have me by the neck but I trust you will take me into the right
       direction
May 2017 · 242
where is the meaning?
Jack Mandala May 2017
the morning dew on the trees, the cackling fire complementing the starry sky, the radiant smile on a lover's face, this is where the meaning in life is.

every laugh, every smile, every tear leads to a greater message

we were born on this planet to feel, to share, to create

accept the sorrows and ride the road of discontentment, but understand you still have control of the wheel

take your gifts and passions and soar to heights greater than any skyscraper

don't concern yourself with the lives of others, as eavesdropping into their activities takes time away from investing in the most important person: yourself

most importantly, take your past highlights and stretch them into a reel long enough to produce a hollywood film, but don't concern yourself with the critics
Mar 2017 · 954
You
Jack Mandala Mar 2017
You
A simple phone call back is all it takes

The slightest sign of life you show me will fuel mine for the next week

Please just one date is all that I need

As I leap from the ship of "*******" and onto "adult"

Catch me before I fall into *no mans land
I hope I don't fall
Jan 2017 · 694
Engulfed with Joy
Jack Mandala Jan 2017
A drop of kindness can be enough to fill a lake with joy
The chain reaction is enough to link our whole world together

If we embrace the beauty and disregard the faults
Life will be one long joyride

Removing the societal implications
Gives us the wings necessary to soar to great heights
Nov 2016 · 756
The Last Straw
Jack Mandala Nov 2016
All my life I have waited for the one companion to make my life complete
My other half, yearning to be complemented

But time has proven I need a new way to fill the gap
A way not as pretty and pure

Constant affairs in rotation like a clock
As if every one is the same song with a different melody

Rather than fill my heart with the compassion it needs
I have rendered it useless
Maybe some day things will change
Nov 2016 · 527
My Love
Jack Mandala Nov 2016
My Love
She's a one of a kind with a beautiful mind
She brings the meaning to my rhymes

It almost seems too good to be true
To run into an angel like you
<3
Nov 2016 · 483
My Everything
Jack Mandala Nov 2016
As I am writing this spree of poems I must confess
You are the only one I want to caress

My nights are long and cold without you
Memories drawn and dull without you

I am the painter and you are the canvas
Just sit back and let me paint what others can't of us
I'll always care for you no matter what you do to me
Nov 2016 · 625
I'm Lost
Jack Mandala Nov 2016
The sensation beaming from your majestic body is impeccable

The way you carry yourself has put me in a trance

The spell you have cast upon me cannot be broken

*I am lost
Don't change one thing about you babygirl
Sep 2016 · 322
Positivity
Jack Mandala Sep 2016
Since the first time my thoughts met paper
I saved my happy thoughts for later
So with this elementary rhyme scheme
Let me tell you what was stopping me
I wrote when emotions were vivid and high
Requiring sadness and despair to comply
But I have found to achieve true contentment
One must wash away all resentment
Leave your venomous thoughts behind
And if I am yours, you are mine
First positive poem I have made since I have joined this website ;)
Aug 2016 · 655
Games
Jack Mandala Aug 2016
If destiny has a plan for us,* why make it a checker game?
There is a winner, but both sides lose pieces

If destiny has a plan for us, why add in others?
The recipe only calls for two

When destiny had a plan for us,
You threw away the script without a fuss
Another 5 minute write up I made because living off of two hours of sleep spurts ideas
Jul 2016 · 588
Reliance
Jack Mandala Jul 2016
Baby girl I know you have options
But take a chance with me and you'll see
You're what I need and breathe
As corny as it sounds
I feel sick and empty when you're not around
Every sip from the chalice leads you to malice
Please put down the bottle
And let's take our love to full throttle
Just follow through and I'll fix you
A quick poem for the girl who is killing my thoughts with every bottle she downs
May 2016 · 625
Ambivalence
Jack Mandala May 2016
It is like I have been thrown into a washing machine and put into an endless cycle
You sing me beauty but feed me poison
I yearn to hear your voice but am tormented by your actions
You push me just enough so I don't fall, and leave me on a cliff hanger
Maybe it's because a straight line doesn't give me a heartbeat.
Feb 2016 · 941
Safeguard
Jack Mandala Feb 2016
I yearn for love, but cannot give it
The pain inflicted on me is destined to come again
My heart lacks in passion
Body deprived of pleasure
And mind in fear of relapse
Jan 2016 · 341
Recollection
Jack Mandala Jan 2016
Distance is friend of mine
Until I start writing these rhymes
Poetry makes me miss you
Every line I want to kiss you
Please don't leave me
I yearn to be free
When you enter my mind
The pain subsides
Can we please reminisce
On the times I so dearly miss?
Jan 2016 · 4.3k
Wrong Decisions
Jack Mandala Jan 2016
Every step I took towards you felt like security
But quickly led to a downward spiral of impurity
Unfinished but don't have the time right now to complete it :/
Jan 2016 · 747
Lost Ones
Jack Mandala Jan 2016
My heart has been struck with the venom of your twisted love
All of the memories
All of the security
Our planned future, shattered
I was lost in your dance with the devil
Round and round I swayed until my knees fell weak
And as I descended to the ground, a revelation appeared
Your face was flowing with tears and regret
The fiery lust in your eyes, doused with reality
As the one true soul who cherished you
Disintegrated into your world of lost dreams
Oct 2015 · 1.1k
Love is Temporary
Jack Mandala Oct 2015
Love* is adapted from one half when the insecurities of one person become greater than their own self confidence

Love is adapted on the other half when the self-esteem of a person is enough to be given to another, in hopes for it to be reciprocated

When one half reaches the quintessence of inner confidence through the charisma and compassion of their "lover," he/she decides they're independent enough to complete their own individual path to spiritual enlightenment, while the other half becomes dead weight that is dragged along with them

The other half is so immersed in the happiness of their companion, his/her quest to enlightenment becomes conjoined with the path of their other half. Instead of working on his/her own quest to knowledge and understanding of the real truth behind love, their vision is vaporized into thin air to compensate for their partner's path to illumination. When one half has reached individual insight, their other half is swiftly disregarded and sent into a nightmare of insecurity and restlessness where they can only be woken up from the confidence and compassion of another human being. This is the most vicious cycle humanity will face until its demise.

Love is not a goal of solidarity, but rather a temporary method of combatting the insecurities you are subconsciously not aware of.
"For in much wisdom is much grief, and he that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow."

Ecclesiastes 1:18
Aug 2015 · 413
Detachment
Jack Mandala Aug 2015
You have drawn me in, and kicked me out
When I am most vulnerable, you provide the security that I need
When I begin to feel relaxed
You decide it's time for me to go
But now I am desensitized
I stand numb from head to toe
The feelings of sorrow and joy have been compromised
Love and hatred I feel no more
A life of detachment has been proven more realistic
Aug 2015 · 294
Detachment
Jack Mandala Aug 2015
You have drawn me in, and kicked me out
When I am most vulnerable, you provide the security that I need
When I begin to feel relaxed
You decide it's time for me to go
But now I am desensitized
I stand numb from head to toe
The feelings of sorrow and joy have been compromised
Love and hatred I feel no more
A life of detachment has been proven more realistic
Jul 2015 · 908
Tri-Polar
Jack Mandala Jul 2015
She used to be so shy and innocent. She was anything I ever wanted in a girl. I would think to myself, how can such a beautiful girl be so stunning, yet withhold such a charming personality? She was truly a gift from God, and I treated her like one. But slowly, yet surely, that image proved to be a striptease. She was an angel growing devil horns. No one could stop her. Her inner beauty shifted from love to lust. Her outer beauty became ****** rather than angelic. She changed for the worse, and all I could do was watch her reshape into a salacious figure. What is there to do now, move on? Move on from someone who provided the positive emotion to my life? Maybe I could wake up with a positive attitude and embrace the single life. But how do I embrace the single life when I desire a companionship? I don't want to embrace a life I don't aspire. No, what I seek is revenge.  Don't settle for loss. Don't take what she handed you. Take what she owes you and turn it into vengeance. Swear by the devil's word and make her swallow your retribution. Take the upper hand and chain it to her deathbed. Show her who the real winner is. Wait, but don't latch the chains on too tight. Give her enough slack to contemplate. Enough slack to realize her mistakes. Give her enough time to re-consider. Enough time to consider change. Show her the past, and how it used to be. The past led by an angelic child. The past where another child fell in love with her presence. The past where their humble beginning was destined to lead to a promising future. A future where they settled for intimacy rather than detachment, and a tie rather than a loss.
I called this tri-polar because the poem shifts from sadness, to anger, to forgiveness. This was actually a snippet from one of my journal entries. :)
Jun 2015 · 553
A Hint of Poison
Jack Mandala Jun 2015
Your enticement was impeccable
The charm you brought the table was irresistible
Who wouldn't accept such an intimate offer?
But a hint of poison was laced in your skin
Incognito at first sight
Yet I fell too intensely at your gaze for it to register
It was too late by the time the poison became visible
You became a part of me I couldn't shake off
Your lust will be the death of me
To the girl who brought me in a world I didn't want
Jun 2015 · 871
Tainted Love
Jack Mandala Jun 2015
You latched onto me
Or did I latch onto you? I must know

Oh how I crave your past intimacy that drove my ambition
What was life before you? I must know

Hence I must've had a satisfactory living
Or was I lost in my own self-induced struggle? I must know

If I could see upon my future, I must be intrigued,
But if I could see upon my past, would I be regretful? I must know

All of the unanswered questions you manage to bestow upon me
Or have I managed to bestow them upon myself? *I must know
I can't let you go
Jun 2015 · 4.3k
Obsessed
Jack Mandala Jun 2015
I can't let you go
The wounds you left on me need your healing
You and I will really be something
Unite with me when we reach the end of the road
Gaze into my eyes as I will to yours
Hold my hand as I lead you to the path of euphoria
To the girl driving me into insane obsession
May 2015 · 7.9k
Numb
Jack Mandala May 2015
Numb* from the *Memories
Memories of pain
Memories of sorrow
Memories of regret

Numb from Society
A Society of conformists
A Society of insecurity
A Society of restlessness

Numb from Love
Deceitful love
Temporary love
Inadequate love

Numb from *You
May 2015 · 518
5 Letter Poem
Jack Mandala May 2015
I can't let you go
Currently caught up in my feelings, just writing out my thoughts
May 2015 · 3.2k
*Disappointment*
Jack Mandala May 2015
Disappointment runs across my face
As your life has gone south and left a bitter trace
The future looked immensely bright for you
A golden crown carved with your name looked true
But enticing decisions inspired by the devil
Pressured you to get on his level
Based on recent experiences with a close friend

— The End —