clouds are rolling in
from the west
leaving their shadows
in their wake
a darkness that
isn't dark
but only robs
my life of light
oh clouds go away soon
the sun has set
and none care to see
how monolithic
your judgements are
let the flowers grow again
and the animals are cold

its a point of forming
drops of water
carving
a channel
to this place i am
where i can see
beauty
in this broken shell
in the cracked
reflections
absent of color
and following
that water-cut channel
to the light above
well it may be past
my strength
but
maybe not

there is less of me that
i hold closely
and more of what
i want to be
that i hold closely
because who i am
is not a friend
but i will still love him
and hope to see him grow
self-love is also
self-destruction
but i plant
different seeds this time

if it was hidden
i was blind
but i see
everything clearly
from the second story balcony
and
did i feel what
i was meant to feel
and
close my eyes
to finally see

flickering, a spark, and smoke in my nose
lighter on and off, thoughts oppose
leaning
then flailing
then realizing
ive been standing
maybe not strongly
but still standing
and the steps keep growing
lighter on
lighter off
and my face still glows

to quietly suffer
to quietly heal
to lose everything
to lose nothing
the parts of the whole
that erased my soul
to start over again
a blessing that depends
on the seeds grown
in a mind that groans

such a sigh
echoes
in places
no sounds are allowed

such pain
bleeds
and stains
in ways water cant clean

last words
hurt
in ways
that echo and bleed

they stain
the parts of my mind
locked away
yea, locked away