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Jade Ivy Aug 2013
Submerged in water
Gasping for air
Blackness surrounds me
My lungs feel tight
My eyes fail me
As do my limbs
Struggling to find
A way up
Or out
But I can't find
The right direction
The surface
Any means of escape
Thrashing
Choking
Suffering
And the only way
To save myself
Is to let go
And hope that the release
Leads me to the surface
And not to the depths
Below
Jade Ivy Aug 2013
I do things
Knowing that they will hurt me
But maybe thats what I want
Now
--Self-destruction--
Been a long time
Since I've purposefully
Put myself in positions
Of pain
I would never physically
Harm myself
But I let my emotions
Run rampant
Allow them to take the lead
And that emotional self harm
Cuts deeper
Than any blade

I'm begging
Stop
Don't do it
Hold yourself back

Please
Jade Ivy Aug 2013
Don't look at
What you don't want to see
I'm hiding the best that I can
But I can't protect you
From your own curiosity
Jade Ivy Aug 2013
Thought I didn't love you anymore
And I'm still pretty sure that I don't
But my emotions are running wild
And I can't seem to keep them in check
Stay as far away as you can
I don't want to drag you into this mess that I am
Jade Ivy Aug 2013
My heart keeps telling me
That I miss you
But my brain
And better judgment
Both know that
I only miss
The convenience
Of having someone
To rely on
The complacency
Of never feeling
Totally alone
The confidence
Of being adored
And the comfort
Of always having
Someone to say
*Good Night
Jade Ivy Aug 2013
I can't eat
Anymore
I can't sleep
Anymore
I can't even smile
truly smile
Anymore
So I lay on my back
With one arm
Behind my head
The other resting
On my chest
Not feeling
Not seeing
A thing
As I wait for the
Sleeping pills
To reach my blood stream
Wearing another man's shirt
Because you made sure
To leave nothing of yourself
Behind
Jade Ivy Aug 2013
You set fire
To our temple
And walked away
As it burned
Never looking back
Not even a peek
Over your broad shoulder
Three weeks
You roamed through the land
Occupying yourself
With travels and objects
That caught your eye
Until you tired
And prayed
For a place to rest
Your thoughts darted
To that temple
Such wonderful shelter
And shade
It had provided
You carefully find your way back
To the ruins
Only broken pieces of heavy stone
Remain
Even the ashes
Blew away
With the wind
And silence
You observe the fragments
Searching for a way
To build it all back up
Again
But weeks had gone by
Since it stood
The structure was gone
As were the ashes
So you settled for a stone
To rest upon
With palms turned to the sky
You pray for that temple
To rise up again
But you know better
Than to expect
A holy place
To be erected
From less
Than
Ash
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