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Dec 2021 · 276
things you left
Luna Maria Dec 2021
the half finished bottle of wine, the smell of your cigarettes in my hair, the sleeping couch
its unfinished
Luna Maria Sep 2021
now I am 19 and
it's nothing special as what happens when you turn 18

I am still terrified of the future.
I wish I could live without any fears, I wish I could be myself again.
Sep 2021 · 320
on my bedstand
Luna Maria Sep 2021
there's a lot of notebooks
full with words I still need to write.
I know I still have so many things to write about but it won't come out (yet)
May 2021 · 515
it's been 18 days
Luna Maria May 2021
I stare at the pictures of us
I still have them on my wall
I only seem to remember the happy memories
May 2021 · 958
nicotine
Luna Maria May 2021
maybe it’s the cigarette taste of your mouth
that got me addicted to your lips
that’s how easy it is
Apr 2021 · 405
3 weeks
Luna Maria Apr 2021
it's been 21 days without you
but not one of them I didn't think about you
I wonder how long it will take
for this to become easier?
when does the pain stop
Apr 2021 · 1.1k
break up
Luna Maria Apr 2021
I did not write as much
not because I don't care or because
it did not have an impact on me

just because I've been escaping and avoiding
instead of writing and feeling.
distracting myself from the painful feeling in my chest
Apr 2021 · 518
alone
Luna Maria Apr 2021
after all the lovers

I realized

it was now my turn to love

me
I feel so alone
Apr 2021 · 447
to be loved by you
Luna Maria Apr 2021
oh for someone to be out there to love me the way I deserve

oh for it to be you
I kept wishing it was you
Feb 2021 · 229
under the surface
Luna Maria Feb 2021
sometimes I have a hard time
perceiving myself;
the person who I actually am,
I am used to be filled with negative
and draining thoughts
but who am I next to that?
some days I forget that I'm actually
me
under a surface of anxiety and thoughts
under a layer of the weird way my brain functions
maybe I find her again,
I hope to meet her soon.
I would like to get to know myself
Feb 2021 · 3.4k
a raspberry kiss
Luna Maria Feb 2021
god I missed your lips
oh to stumble all upon the
Feeling of love again
your lips taste so sweet
Feb 2021 · 473
:)))
Luna Maria Feb 2021
every time my phone lights up
I hope the notification says your name.
you make me smile more than I would like to admit
Feb 2021 · 179
2nd
Luna Maria Feb 2021
2nd
eventually
everyone
will find someone better,
over and over.
Dec 2020 · 784
1am
Luna Maria Dec 2020
1am
its 1am and I’m sitting here
scratching my face
lowkey hating the way I look
and when I look in the mirror I wish I could see what you see in me
thoughts
Dec 2020 · 517
fear of abandonment
Luna Maria Dec 2020
I've been staring at the word
"online"
under your contact name
for the past hour
its staring back at me
I'm desperately waiting for a reply
(nothing)
i let jealousy take me over
because I know you're texting her
instead of me.
you're both online and i'm just here crying.
Nov 2020 · 586
promise me
Luna Maria Nov 2020
“don't leave me here, please.“
I begged myself,
while I was shaking and crying

I begged myself not to leave me in this.
In this awful state of mind.
and I promised myself that things would get better.
Nov 2020 · 504
I miss you
Luna Maria Nov 2020
when you left
I searched every object in my room
because maybe one of them
still contains your smell.
still searching for pieces of you
Nov 2020 · 423
to blossom again
Luna Maria Nov 2020
stepped on
was the flower,
little did she know
she could grow back
and maybe become even more
graceful than she already was.
she only needs to realize that she's the same flower as before.
Nov 2020 · 412
holding on
Luna Maria Nov 2020
it feels like
I'm watering a flower
which is already dead
am I holding on for too long or
Sep 2020 · 147
a giver
Luna Maria Sep 2020
I've always loved you
so much more
than you loved me.
I am made to give so much love and I wonder if anyone will give me ever the same back.
Sep 2020 · 781
a bright light
Luna Maria Sep 2020
I hold the lighter
to light up her cigarette
and as I see her silhouette in de dark,
I wonder

can I also light up her life like that,
can I make it better
can I be a small, bright light.
<3
Sep 2020 · 735
alive
Luna Maria Sep 2020
I romanticize the smell of cigs
because I want destroying myself
to be something beautiful and graceful.
Luna Maria Sep 2020
yes, I am.
carefully realizing the truth
Sep 2020 · 418
a developed curiosity
Luna Maria Sep 2020
it’s the words that always will
remain unspoken
between us.
the undefined smiles,
and the acknowledged feelings
we never discovered.
what could’ve been and what never will be
Aug 2020 · 873
me to me
Luna Maria Aug 2020
I see you looking at me
in a broken mirror and
I promise to hold your hand
dry your tears
and I will make for you a
soft universe.
I promise myself I will be okay
Aug 2020 · 330
warning sign
Luna Maria Aug 2020
slowly the words
stopped forming
under my bleeding hands
concerned
Aug 2020 · 308
to consider
Luna Maria Aug 2020
and then she showed love
to the body
I've been hating
for so many years.
I couldn't imagine that someone loved a part of me I hated so much
Jul 2020 · 613
18
Luna Maria Jul 2020
18
I thought that
By the age of eighteen
I would be happy

But I still feel empty
I still scratch my legs until they are red
I still cry in the shower until I am numb
I still havent figured out everything yet.
I still ache and that won’t change by just turning eighteen
Jun 2020 · 363
what the future holds
Luna Maria Jun 2020
I am so afraid of things changing
but I am also scared
that everything will stay the same.
I am terrified of what the future will bring me
Jun 2020 · 549
:(
Luna Maria Jun 2020
:(
I am afraid
the feeling of
loneliness
will never leave
my chest
numb / pain
Luna Maria Jun 2020
it's been
2 months
since you
asked how I
was doing
for the last time
the way you can peacefully fall asleep while you know I am crying
Jun 2020 · 1.5k
was the pain worth it?
Luna Maria Jun 2020
at least you gave me lots of poetry to write.
if only you would read it
Jun 2020 · 415
memento mori
Luna Maria Jun 2020
as if
I am not thinking
about death
all the time
life is so fragile
Jun 2020 · 2.0k
GENERATION Z
Luna Maria Jun 2020
while we
let the sun kiss our skin
we watched the sky
through the leaves
and talked
about the weight of the world
which is laying on the shoulders
of our generation
these days are making it worth to stay.
May 2020 · 879
strength
Luna Maria May 2020
and after the storm
the flower
would open
and bloom again
don't forget we are all beautiful blooming flowers
May 2020 · 421
home
Luna Maria May 2020
home is
(the people I love)
my hand in your hand
when I lean in against your chest
and hear your heart beat

home is
a place without four walls
where I can close my eyes
and feel safe enough
to run
without fear

home is
the body I live in
(cry in, love in, die in)
where I exist and love myself
home to you
Apr 2020 · 690
hiding from the good
Luna Maria Apr 2020
I am lost in the dark
but maybe it is because
I close my eyes
since the sun
is too bright
sometimes we can’t see the positivity we are surrounded with
Apr 2020 · 2.0k
</3
Luna Maria Apr 2020
</3
I left dead flowers on her desk
will she water them?
(I didn't mean to let them die
it just happened)
Luna Maria Apr 2020
when I try to swallow your tears
I get a bellyache
it is too heavy
salty
Apr 2020 · 2.0k
why?
Luna Maria Apr 2020
It is silent
but I feel like a thousand words are spoken
we don’t look each other in the eyes anymore  
we don’t touch
we only wave
from across the room

goodbye ¿
is this the last goodbye
Luna Maria Apr 2020
I don't get
how easy it was
for you
to let me
go
friends can break each others heart too
Apr 2020 · 1.6k
falling out of love
Luna Maria Apr 2020
you stopped loving me

so I also

stopped loving

myself.
the things you used to love about me suddenly turned into the things I hated about myself.
Apr 2020 · 627
next to me?
Luna Maria Apr 2020
can you sleep next to me
at night?
when all my fears
hold me tight

I want to hear you
breathing close to me
And when I wake up
you're the only
thing I want to see.
nightmares
Mar 2020 · 1.6k
growth
Luna Maria Mar 2020
your tears have been
watering your flowers

you became such a
beautiful garden
growth is not a linear proces <3
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