Nov 2017 · 1.6k
sofia Nov 2017
it isn't until you let go
that you notice the blood
dropping from your palms
it isn't until you look down
that you notice how close
you are to the bottom
it isn't until I distanced myself
that I realized you were
slowly killing me
Nov 2017 · 356
a hobby
sofia Nov 2017
loving you was my
favorite thing to do
because it
felt so good
loving you
was like breathing
to me
I didn't need a book
to know how to do it
I just
loving you
felt so natural
like it was something
I knew how to do
for a long time
and I felt giddy
thinking about my
newfound ability
it feels as if my heart
was always under
a warm blanket
so safe
so secure
longing for yours
under the covers
it feels as if my hands
we're naked whenever
it was not linked with yours
it feels as if every breath
I take was being clouded
with you
if only
you knew how
to love me too
because for you
loving me was
learning a new language
playing the piano
driving a car
it just doesn't come
as naturally
as walking
I still don't know
how to stop
Oct 2017 · 252
sofia Oct 2017

from here the sun looked small
a yellow dot in the distance
so far yet its warmth seemed
to reach me as if it were a breath away
I loved the way it shone
my how beautifully did it shine
I wondered if it shined as bright
if I were close to it
the sun beckoned me to swim
in his golden rays
it shone brilliantly as I came closer
yet little did I know
as it shone
it also burned
it hurt
but my heart was too busy
admiring the sun
my eyes were to focused on etching its beauty in my mind
fearing I would forget it
if I looked away for
just a second
it was painful
loving you
but my did it feel so good
I had to leave you
burnt skin
a broken heart
it was an honor to
find out how much you shone
and how much it hurt to be burned
by you
my god
the sun looks small from here
doesn't it?
Sep 2017 · 235
sofia Sep 2017
I let my heart
dance with yours
even for just
a moment
but I knew
this song wasn't
meant for us
Aug 2017 · 139
Aug 2017 · 165
sofia Aug 2017
after I burn everything you gave me
will you still be here?
when these pictures turn into ash
will I still hear my heart whispering your name?
if i force myself to forget every song you made me listen to
will I still hear you somewhere in the melody?  
if I gave away every single book you bought me
will my eyes stop watering every time I hear the title?
you are no where
yet I find you everywhere
no matter how many times i take a bath
i cant seem to rid myself of you
soap cannot erase what you left behind
im stuck with you
with the memory of you rather
tell me if its wrong to feel your lips against my skin
when im alone with my thoughts in public transport
tell me if its wrong to remember how you said you loved me
when Im standing in line to grab lunch
tell me if its wrong to miss you
because I do
but you’re not coming back
to make it stop
and I cant make it stop
Aug 2017 · 375
sofia Aug 2017
and then I gave my heart to you
without hopes of you knowing that I did
without hopes of it being returned
I loved you loudly in my silence
I loved you stupidly
and I was hoping I'd be smart enough to have known that I had
I loved you blindly
yet you were the only thing I could see
you had my heart
you didn't have a clue
how long it stayed with you
how far it had to travel to reach you
because the distance between us was just too wide
you're it's home
yet you didn't know
but it's fine
because I knew
that if I let my heart stay with you
you had every right to break it
because you didn't have a clue
Jul 2017 · 638
Jul 2017 · 380
sofia Jul 2017
you make me question everything i knew about myself
Jul 2017 · 1.2k
Jul 2017 · 384
sofia Jul 2017
I am standing
on the edge
the void is within
my reach
my mind says
but my body
just freezes

I wonder
what it's like
to live life
til the last minute
the last centimeter
will I
regret it?

When I'm standing
on the edge
the world is silent
it's empty
as if it's watching,
waiting for me
to jump
to stay
but it's too late
to the ground
and the sound
of me hitting
the floor
will remind you
why you shouldn't
stand on edges
Jul 2017 · 201
a reason
sofia Jul 2017
into my
swim in
my memories
and I'll
tell you
why you
can never
Jul 2017 · 188
sofia Jul 2017
why did I
settle for less
why did I
settle for
second best
when I knew
I'd be starving
when I knew
I'd be wanting
Jul 2017 · 169
universe of us
sofia Jul 2017
unfulfilled plans
miles of skin
places we've been
all of the lies
we told
so we could hold
each other when
we fall apart
our hearts
are broken
and these words
never spoken
make this universe of us
Jul 2017 · 162
sofia Jul 2017
I'll make
you feel
I'll make
use me
to feel
Jul 2017 · 381
sofia Jul 2017
wrong place
maybe one of these days
i'll find the right time
but I know that i'm
too late

maybe one of these days
I just might
find the right time
and place
but, oh well
you might as well
be with someone else

joined the race
lost the chase
but maybe one of
these days
I might just find
the right place

but did you pass me by
while I was waiting
for the right time?
did you pass by?
why did I
let you pass me by?

but maybe one of
these days
when i'm in the
right place
and find myself at
the right time
we'll finally collide
and sparks will fly
when we find
each other
Jul 2017 · 206
sofia Jul 2017
hold me together
as i come undone
i pretend that
these shrapnels of
you aren't digging
into my skin
we are hurting
we are broken
but we are one
we'll walk on faulty
bridges and lean on
crumbling walls but
i trust that you won't
break down
in the end the weight
of my broken pieces
were just too much for
you weren't they?
Jun 2017 · 146
sofia Jun 2017
this debris
i cannot
give to
expecting a
Apr 2017 · 849
I drowned
sofia Apr 2017
I look at you
I see the sea
calm waves of you
gently caressing me

I see the ocean
in your eyes
I'm drowning
they're pulling me in


and deeper

I don't look away
that was my mistake

the ocean was beautiful
it was a magical sight
but I couldn't breathe
and I couldn't swim
but you seemed nice
it looked right

you looked right

and suddenly
there was no more air
I was sinking
my lungs ablaze
every drop of you consuming me
hurting me
I closed my eyes
I couldn't see how nice it was
you felt wrong

the ocean killed me that night
but if I would've knew
I might
have never looked into those eyes

so beautiful

but wrong
I loved the ocean but it didn't seem to learn to love me back
Apr 2017 · 231
sofia Apr 2017

I got a dog, Charlie
just in case you were wondering
I named her after you

I read a book
you always wanted me to do that
It was your favorite
I didn't understand a word
but for you, Charlie
I breathed every single sentence

I learned how to cook
every time I do
I cook a meal for two
you would've yelled at me
told me I was wasting food

I would've kissed you
to shut you up

it wasn't planned but
I finished college

you never stopped talking about it
it was going to be amazing
you said

but you never got the chance to find out
so I did it for you

it would've been better
if I did it with you

i met this girl
she's so much like you
but so different
but no

I killed you
so why should I forget about you?
why should I replace you?
she'll never replace you

I forgave them
those people who hurt you
I did it for you
but it would have been better
if I did it with you

I never forgave myself though

I sometimes find myself
wondering if I could be with you up there
but you always said that life was amazing
and you never got a chance to find out

so I'll do it for you

I love you
I miss you
Apr 2017 · 311
sofia Apr 2017

something so beautiful shouldn't be in a box
something so beautiful shouldn't be beneath the ground
someone so beautiful shouldn't be surrounded by the people who let them die

they killed you

I killed you

I didn't even know, Charlie
why didn't you tell me?

I could've saved you
could I?

your parents are here
they're together because of you, Charlie

they're crying
I'm crying

we spilled tears
you spilled blood

I did that to you

I reduced you to a memory
a news article
another name in the obituary
a rumor

you wouldn't have wanted that, Charlie
you didn't deserve that

I'm sorry

I miss you already

your skin against mine
your lips moving against mine
your heart beating with mine

I took all of that away from us

we were reduced to
feet to dirt
fist to dirt
tears to dirt

I did this to us
I did this to you




( part two )
inspired by 13 reasons why
Apr 2017 · 532
sofia Apr 2017

I found you, Charlie
you were in your bathtub

your eyes that once held the stars were empty
they were lifelessly staring at the ceiling

the red that once coated your lips seeped into the water that engulfed you

my body met the floor
my fingers met your skin

your wrists

you’re bleeding, Charlie

I was shaking
I was shaking you

you were dripping
when I carried you




so much red

you’re cold
I cant feel you

your heart was still
you weren’t breathing

I was breathing for you, Charlie
so hard
hoping you would do the same

I brought you out of the house

Charlie, look at the stars

you loved stars
can you see them?

I had to put you in the car

I gripped the wheel so hard
my knuckles were as pale as your skin

you’re going to be okay

we’re almost there, Charlie

I played that mixtape of yours

I waited for your voice
I waited for you to tell me to turn the volume up
just like you always did

I waited
and waited


( part one )
inspired by 13 reasons why
Apr 2017 · 282
sofia Apr 2017
A deck of hearts
A deck of spades
Some cards to get me
through the day

Shuffle the stack
And mix them so
You lay them down
And you're good to go

Black goes with red
Red goes with black
No cards in hand?
take three from the stack

Now we go from King
then Queen to Jack
Red, black, red
Black, red, black

If you've played for some time
it's safe to say
you've come across a card
that had an A
don't be confused, it's called an ace
If you find all four,
it's your lucky day!

So here's a truth
I'm sure you can bare
Congratulations, my friend
You just played solitaire
at a writing workshop and they asked us to make a poem out of something we had in our bags. I brought a tin with cards.
Apr 2017 · 265
sofia Apr 2017
The stars would be jealous of you, Charlie
You shone brighter than all of them combined
To me, your kisses tasted of honey
You stole my heart, Charlie, you robbed me blind

Each time you smiled, I fell deeper for you
I drowned in those deep pools you called your eyes
You were consuming me without a clue
I let you, Charlie, but I don't know why

Amidst the hurricane of loving you
I told myself that you would soon be gone
Your heart will find itself with someone new
I'm going to lose you, my only one

The stars were so jealous of you, Charlie
So much that they took you away from me
i'm taking a writing workshop and they asked us to make sonnets sooooo here ya go
Mar 2017 · 311
sofia Mar 2017
I miss you
I still think about you
I'm sorry
I love you

this is where "backspace " was inspired from
Mar 2017 · 694
sofia Mar 2017
for every fear
I had in me
my words are silenced
by the backspace key
I try to type
what's in my heart
yet every sentence
a shot in the dark
out comes false words
my honesty ends
I give up and I
press send
Feb 2017 · 488
Too Much
sofia Feb 2017
You're a mess
You're broken
Bottles adorn your apartment floor
And I'm standing outside your door

Are your eyes too swollen
To see that I'm here
Did she break you completely,
what if you don't need me,
tell me if I'm
getting too near

I love you too much
To see that I'm not
Who your tears are for
I love you too much
To stop when it hurts
Only to come back and ask for more

I'm here.
There's no need to cry
your heart is too broken
so let me give you mine

I'm still here.
When will I learn?
That the love I gave
Can never be returned.
Hope ya liked it :p
Nov 2016 · 661
sofia Nov 2016
beautiful girl
what did you do?
to have someone like him
love someone like you?

beautiful girl
what did he see?
what was in you
that wasn't in me?

was it your chocolate hair
that he loved so much?
was it your porcelain skin
that he loved to touch?

or was it something that i
just couldn't see?
or just everything i
couldn't be?

beautiful girl
what does he say?
how does it feel
to be loved this way?

what is it like to hear
his stupid laugh?
to have everything i
couldn't have?

was it your chocolate hair
that he loved so much?
was it your porcelain skin
that he loved to touch?

or was it something that i
just couldn't see?
or everything i
couldn't be?

i'm not angry
i just wasn't enough
please take care
of the
only boy

yes, it was your chocolate hair
that he loved so much
it was your porcelain skin
that he loved to touch

it was your smile
that lit up a million worlds
it was you
it was you
all along
its a song actually :)
i made it haha
Aug 2016 · 584
sofia Aug 2016
won't you come with me
where the fireflies are
and the blanket of dark
is filled with stars

won't you come in the forest
and smell the midnight breeze
then lie down on the tulips
and stay here with me

we would lay in comfortable silence
with intertwined hands
and I'll fall more in love
than I possibly can

our eyes become heavy
as we drift into sleep
and in my dreams, I wonder
how you are here with me

until the sun wakes up
and the sky shines blue
and the first thing I see
when I open my eyes
currently trying to make this a song hahaha :) hope you guys are having a wonderful day!
May 2016 · 554
I'm Like Them Too
sofia May 2016
"He has too many tattoos"
"I bet he's gone to jail"
To a man on a motorbike
My parents say

"Look at those girls, don't
Be like them, okay?"
They turned and looked at me
Referring to the girls
Too drunk to even stand up on their feet

"That's disgusting"
They say to a gay couple
Across the room
I sit there and laugh to myself
Haha if only they knew

The intoxicated girls
The man with tattoos
The gay couple in the room
I'm like them too
Apr 2016 · 640
sofia Apr 2016
as the sun will rest,
the horizon as its bed,
beautiful in sleep
Apr 2016 · 330
You Have A Message
sofia Apr 2016
tap, tap, tap
a blocky symphony
surrounds the room
tap, tap, tap
a choreography of letters
dance in my mind
tap, tap, tap
the faint glow of the screen
invade my eyes
tap, tap, tap
          tap, tap, tap
                     tap, tap, tap
Oct 2015 · 169
sofia Oct 2015
In books we find worlds we can't explore ourselves
Oct 2015 · 188
sofia Oct 2015
Something insignificant can be easily extinguished, yet from that insignificance can become something great.
Aug 2015 · 166
I See
sofia Aug 2015
I don't see faces
But i see masks
I see ready answers
But no one asks
I see scars and bruises
Some knives on the back
I see all the holes and cracks
I see their cages and their walls
I see imperfection, flaws and all
I see terrible things you cant
I feels things you cant feel
I know things you think are fake
But my dear, they are awfully real
Jul 2015 · 352
What is Life, really?
sofia Jul 2015
What is life, really?
Is it just a temporary space
to fill up until the end of your days?
To block the sight of death,
just a grey mist?
Just a little time to check everything off your list?
Is it just a mirage of the fated road ahead?
A distraction from where you are to go?
What is life, really?
well, we'll never know.
I was bored...
Jun 2015 · 257
Church Haiku
sofia Jun 2015
Sitting here in church
waiting for the mass to end
writing this haiku
And yes, I DID write this in church.
Jun 2015 · 9.1k
sofia Jun 2015
In dreams we dwell
reality, we escape
In our thoughts we roam
but the truth is
we stay.
Mar 2015 · 220
sofia Mar 2015
Foolish we are
creatures of mind
Humans see the truth
but believe the lies
look at the dark
when the light shines bright
turn our backs on today
and hold on to yesterday with all our might
ignore the cure
and stroke the scars
Humans are we
how foolish we are
Mar 2015 · 198
More than I thought
sofia Mar 2015
It hurts more than you think,
thinking of you
It hurts more than you think,
hearing your name
It hurts more than you think,
seeing you smile
It hurt more than I thought,
loving you...
Feb 2015 · 255
sofia Feb 2015
I saw your eyes
they were no longer focused on me
but fixed at another
I saw your mouth
I no longer owed your smiles
I saw your hands
they were held by someone else
these are the things I fear
for the boy who wasn't even mine to call
afraid he'll see someone else
when he never even saw me at all
Feb 2015 · 578
My eyes
sofia Feb 2015
My eyes can see
beyond the exterior form
but a story never shared
that never told the norm
my eyes can see what's broken
that no glue can hold
my eyes can speak a thousand words
that were never even told
Feb 2015 · 171
sofia Feb 2015
Potterheads will know this
Feb 2015 · 203
White walls
sofia Feb 2015
White walls stand before me
the color of innocence
and insanity
Providing me with nightmares
that were once called memories
the screams are still there
it's all because of me
A perfect situation for someone who's
damaged mentally
patience, I wait for the white light to return
as I lie here on my own
White walls stand before me
I'm perfectly alone
Jan 2015 · 161
sofia Jan 2015
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is perspective, not the truth.
Marcus Aurelis
Jan 2015 · 272
Symphony of My Life
sofia Jan 2015
The beats of sorrow,
the whisper of depression.
Sirens yelling,
hearts breaking.
An orchestra to DIE for,
conducted by fate himself.
Everybody come and see,
Behold, the Symphony of my Life.
Jan 2015 · 351
My demons
sofia Jan 2015
Another day passes,
another memory fades and
another stab in the heart.
More demons are born and
more scars are torn and my sanity
is once again, torn apart
If there are angels in the sky
well' I don't know why
Another day passes
with my demons and I
Jan 2015 · 159
sofia Jan 2015
So, this is how it ends?
A knife in my grasp,
A grin on my face,
Ecstatic to end everything.
The last color I would ever see,
I wouldn't call it red.
It's just a beautiful shade of death with
a touch of happiness.
dripping from my wrists,
from the wounds the world has permanently
engraved on me.
Farewell to all you cruel people,
Goodbye to the world.
I will never, ever miss you.
Jan 2015 · 162
sofia Jan 2015
I have more issues then
I could possibly count.
And on my worst days,
I'll go from happy to sad
in seconds.
I won't always like myself,
and sometimes I'll even assume
you don't like me either.
I'll push you away and I might
even drive you insane.
But I promise you this,
nobody could ever even think about
loving you as much as I do.
Jan 2015 · 371
sofia Jan 2015
The worst battle is between what you know and what you feel.
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