sofia 5d

it isn't until you let go
that you notice the blood
dropping from your palms
it isn't until you look down
that you notice how close
you are to the bottom
it isn't until I distanced myself
that I realized you were
slowly killing me

sofia 7d

loving you was my
favorite thing to do
because it
felt so good
loving you
was like breathing
to me
I didn't need a book
to know how to do it
I just
do
loving you
felt so natural
like it was something
I knew how to do
for a long time
and I felt giddy
thinking about my
newfound ability
it feels as if my heart
was always under
a warm blanket
so safe
so secure
longing for yours
under the covers
it feels as if my hands
we're naked whenever
it was not linked with yours
it feels as if every breath
I take was being clouded
with you
you
you
if only
you knew how
to love me too
because for you
loving me was
learning a new language
playing the piano
driving a car
it just doesn't come
as naturally
as walking
talking
breathing
in
out
in
out
I still don't know
how to stop

sofia Oct 11
sun

sun

from here the sun looked small
a yellow dot in the distance
so far yet its warmth seemed
to reach me as if it were a breath away
I loved the way it shone
my how beautifully did it shine
I wondered if it shined as bright
if I were close to it
the sun beckoned me to swim
in his golden rays
it shone brilliantly as I came closer
yet little did I know
as it shone
it also burned
it hurt
but my heart was too busy
admiring the sun
my eyes were to focused on etching its beauty in my mind
fearing I would forget it
if I looked away for
just a second
it was painful
loving you
but my did it feel so good
eventually
I had to leave you
burnt skin
a broken heart
it was an honor to
find out how much you shone
and how much it hurt to be burned
by you
my god
the sun looks small from here
doesn't it?

sofia Sep 13

I let my heart
dance with yours
even for just
a moment
but I knew
this song wasn't
meant for us

sofia Aug 29

after I burn everything you gave me
will you still be here?
when these pictures turn into ash
will I still hear my heart whispering your name?
if i force myself to forget every song you made me listen to
will I still hear you somewhere in the melody?  
if I gave away every single book you bought me
will my eyes stop watering every time I hear the title?
somehow
you are no where
yet I find you everywhere
no matter how many times i take a bath
i cant seem to rid myself of you
soap cannot erase what you left behind
im stuck with you
well
with the memory of you rather
tell me if its wrong to feel your lips against my skin
when im alone with my thoughts in public transport
tell me if its wrong to remember how you said you loved me
when Im standing in line to grab lunch
tell me if its wrong to miss you
because I do
but you’re not coming back
to make it stop

and I cant make it stop
sofia Aug 11

and then I gave my heart to you
without hopes of you knowing that I did
without hopes of it being returned
I loved you loudly in my silence
I loved you stupidly
and I was hoping I'd be smart enough to have known that I had
I loved you blindly
yet you were the only thing I could see
you had my heart
you didn't have a clue
how long it stayed with you
how far it had to travel to reach you
because the distance between us was just too wide
you're it's home
yet you didn't know
but it's fine
because I knew
that if I let my heart stay with you
you had every right to break it
because you didn't have a clue

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