If you're wondering if I still think about you

I do

If you're wondering if I still dream about you

I do

If you're wondering if there's anyone else

There's not

If you're wondering if I miss you

I do

If you're wondering if I still love you

I do. I always will. I made a promise. A lifelong commitment. I love you, and I always will.

A silly laugh and a toothless smile with sparkling green eyes. A selfless spirit and dark brown hair. His face lights up at the silliest things. Since you have been away, I depend on him more each day. Such a little man to bear such a big responsibility. Your picture sits on the mantle, he looks at it and says daddy. He recognizes you in your uniform. When we walk down the street, he points at anyone we meet who is dressed like you. I know why you had to go, but I still don't understand why you didn't come back. Each day I pray to God for his strength and I find more of you in our son. So for now I will go on, knowing that a part of you is always with me. He reminds me of you all of the time and that is both a blessing and a curse, since I know I will never hold you again.

When people are searching for god
The very often look to the skies
They very seldom look inside their minds

"the sailors look at the star
- the North Pole,
to find their way back home

that is how i look at you,
i found my way back home."

I fashion myself a Greek poet tonight ...
A picture of myself with a purple robe ,
my right hand on an ancient document ,
my left hand pointing toward the sky ,
something a tad dramatic for a two score and ten
year 'rural , hayseed romantic ...'
A security guard in the Louvre is passing my
frame tonight , no clue as to the description
I've cast upon you , absolutely no reason to treat
my claim to fame any different from all the others I would guess ..
So I'll pop my pills , turn out the lights , dream up something different
for tomorrow night .. A Cherokee warrior , a Kentucky Colonel ,
but most likely a retired country poet , waiting for the Ambien to get started , counting the planes that fly by his window , dreaming up 'writes'
to eagerly place in front of you .. Night night .....

I want you to remember me in this moment.

Years from now when things have changed, when you might not see me in the same way, when we may not even know each other anymore, I want you to remember that at some point in my life, at some point in "us", that I was this person. I want you to know that this person will always be inside of me somewhere.

When you are
Looking at me with distaste at something I've done,
Picking me up because I'm a mess,
Crying because I said something,
Or because I didn't say what I needed to,
Laying in bed looking at an empty pillow beside you,
Walking around an empty house because I had to get out,
Looking through ancient pictures of the two of us together,
Wondering how I could have ****** up as bad as I did,
Wondering why we don't feel the way you used to,
Wondering why you and I don't work anymore,
Wondering why we're falling apart,
I want you to remember.

Remember this moment.

That I love you.
That right now, I'm a boy who just wants to be with you,
Who wants to care for you,
Play with you,
Run around and explore and sing songs with you,
Make love to you, kiss you in every beautiful place,
Remember the look that you see in my eye,
Remember that right now I would take a bullet for you,
Jump off a bridge for you,
Remember that right now, right here, in this moment,
You are the only important thing in the world that I want.

Remember this moment.

Because no matter how bad things get, this person will always be inside me. The boy looking at you now, filled with so much love - he isn't going anywhere. He may be hard to dig out, hard to find, buried beneath years of troubles and fights and crushed dreams, but he will still be there. I'll still be this moment inside.

When that time comes, I'll just need some help finding this moment again. I might need a little help to remember.

I have a bad memory. I need you to remember for me.

Don't let me forget that I love you.