one day I hope the voices stop
-when will I ever be okay with myself?
Dear 4 am,
Legend says when you can't sleep that you're awake in someone else's dreams. So I don't know if that's my problem, or if it's my restless thoughts. So maybe you're the source of my insomnia, or maybe I'm my own problem.
Humans are just domesticated demons
its been a hard year,
and it seems that the only thing
that is able to keep me afloat
for another month is an antidepressant
I'm trying to be happy.
i thought you were my happiness
but obviously i didnt know what
being happy was.
The whole drive here
I kept envisioning a car crash.
I unbuckled my seatbelt just in case.
(this is from 2017)
We use to say we were going to run away together
But now it seems like we are running away from eachother.
I love myself enough to fall in love with being
It's better than being surround with people who make me feel
e m p t y
someone be my friend
If you can't be happy for yourself
Be happy for the moon
thank you for lighting my darkness
although its been months since we've last talked
and although i dont remember you
I still find myself thinking about you
Why is that?
please someone tell me how to stop this.
* * * and you are * *
* * just like the moon * *
* * * -----so, alone----- * *
* * but you shine bright * *
* * at the darkest * * *
* * * of times * * * *
* * * * *
in my small town
last names mean everything & being a good kid means nothing
perhaps that's why this town is so ******
The way you talk down on people
Does not make you the good person you praise yourself as
honestly i didnt expect to make it this far
and im okay with that
and somehow that makes it hurt worse.
you say im skinny
but my hands dont wrap around my wrists the same way they use to
And i dont think im okay with that
why does being hungry make me feel so powerful
It didn't matter that I had fallen apart
What mattered was the way that I smiled my broken smile
Because with each smile
I managed to put myself together again
they say that smiling is supposed to make you happy
I'm sorry I broke your heart
but you completely broke me.
<3<3 </3 <3<3
how do i tell you whats wrong when
The feelings im feeling,
I dont have the right to have.
-betrayed, resentment, sad.
Pain is temporary?
Its the happiness thats
Self love is important
because it is impossible
to love someone else when
you can't even love yourself
so take a step back, and
look at yourself
and love yourself
because in the end you're all
you really have
— The End —