Although
I love to talk
I love to have my words expressed
But when I blurt out the word,
I don't know why my words make me depressed.

Although,
I love to write and make curves on the paper with my ink,
Imagination pouring out of mind
Creating my world in some little corner of this world,
I cannot fathom how to express this world,
Creating it outside my mind
So it can be visible to all.

Although
My thoughts aren't that clustered
My words aren't obscene
I figure out how to blow away everyone
Everyone from my life's messed up scenes.

Although**
I have friends
I love to be with them
But somehow I manage make my own boundaries
And seclude myself from everyone,
Taking no advice from the infinite wisdom trees
I am surrounded by
Who try to make sure
I have a happy life
But happiness is not something which allures
Me, and I repel every positive charge with my negativity.

Why can't life be an endless night?
When the dreamy eyes,
Never lose their sight,
The stars above us would always shine, 
And the silvery moon,
Would become our new sunshine.

Why can't life be an endless night?
When the silence drapes,
Over the noises,
And the night shapes,
On our own choices.

Why can't life be an endless night?
When our thoughts ponder,
On what we are unaware of during the day,
When our thoughts live in the endless horizon,
When our thoughts loiter around,
In a mysterious way.

Why can't life be an endless night?
When we can feel the pleasant breeze,
Under the starry night sky,
We sing a lullaby,
Forever to the trees.

Why can't life be an endless night?
When we forget to sleep,
And our thoughts scatter,
Mirroring the stars,
In the moonlit night,
Reaching a place beyond infinity,
Finding a place where we always hide,
Our true soul of insobriety.

I tried to draw,
But my sketches are raw
I am imperfect in every way
I used to be good is all I say
Because then I hadn't heard of the word flaw.

My mind was never worried
My words never hurried
To say something worth it
Because my mind at that time was fit
To say, my mouth cleverly flurried.

But when time passes,
All the green grasses
Finally lose their sheen
But they still try to feign
That they are worth to be looked at carefully with glasses.

Just like that
I have changed, it's sad
I have become annoying
But I won't stop even if I'm knowing
That you don't want to talk 'cause I'm talking bad.

Why do we breathe
When at death
We have to stop breathing?

Why do we smile
When the happiness,
Fades away as we fall in darkness
As all we have to face is sadness?

Why do we laugh
When the next moment
We only have to cry?

Why do we feel
When at last, in haste,
We're sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste?
We feel nothing
But the last beat
When our heart stops beating.

Why do we refrain to sweat,
To remove our odor with fake scent,
With fake scent we illumine,
But at last we smell like a human.

Why do we dress like gentlemen?
And why do we spend on make-up
When at last we'll all be corpses of men
When at last all coffins identically shape-up
Like a friend's or a fiend's,
When you'll be just another ash or body buried beneath
When you'll look just as dead
No matter how good you look now instead.

Why do we earn?
Why do we live for money?
When it lives because of us
For if we weren't there
You won't have seen any printed face with a number
On just a piece of paper
When we won't take it away with us
When we would leave everything
Why do we built all these huge houses?

Why do we learn?
When we don't learn to love
It's rare that everyone knows you
Even when you know enough
And with you your mind buries in your grave.

All we do is forever scorn
I wonder why no one thought, that
Why are we even born?
When we are destined to have a grave, become ashes, hath,
She been beautiful, nothing like that matters,
Doth they love thou?
It's something they only know
It's burnt with them
It's buried with them
Beside all their fellow mates
Some were merchants, some beggars,
They all went through the heaven's gate.

Why are we living?
Why do we adhere?
To the norms of life
Why are we even here?
Why are we moving ahead so fast?
When it all end at last.

The life I've lived
Has been a blissful sin
The blessings of God
Have always been an evil grin.
I don't know what he wants
I don't know if he's even there
I don't know if I believe
As the non-believers are rare.

I belong to the dummy group,
A group following one path
But someday I will break through
The waters of this gloomy bath
Which is told to free us
From the sins we've committed
And get us out of this fuss
But my thoughts about it are limited.

I don't know what I believe in
But I know I believe in myself
And trust my own decisions
That would lead me itself
To another track of life
Different from the one
I don't belong to.

Everything is so vague
Every word every bit of an image is so feeble
As if a black hole in my mind
****** all my memory away

Dreams are like that,
Resplendent enough,
But as soon as I wake
There's nothing inside but the residue of dreams
A few bits of ashes left
That the sweeper in my mind forgets
And leaves them like mystery to solve,
Deep in my subconscience
It is ensonsced

For me it's amnesia,*
Nothing lucid,
No colour but black and grey,
As if a black hole
****** all my memory away.

I am bound by heavy chains,
Chains of broken swings
The dark room I am in,
Broke my healthy wings.
It has clasped me
In its fierce claws
And now I can't see
Even if there are anymore laws.

The heaviness,
Oh, it's hard to bear
I try choking my breath
But I promised
I will take care,
I won't wreak the life I'll miss
Even if someone already did.

I fall on my knees,
Giving up after
All the pain I felt
And had to bear
While struggling in vain
For something,
But no one cares.

Just then,
A speck of light
Creeps through a crack
The dusty ray,
Falls on my feet, now slack
Calling me by my name
Trying to lift me up,
From this gloomy game.

Taking the warm hand,
I get up with high hopes
But then I realise
I am bound by ropes
Of the tight and heavy chains.

The warmth tells me
Not to stop,
"But I can't move," I say.
"Don't lose hope,
Please come this way."

Clasping his hand,
I move forward
Wishing I could elope
With him from this place
And I won't give up,
If I'm still in this race
I would walk faster,
Increasing my pace.

Suddenly, the chains crack,
Its cracking lullaby
Echoes in this hollow rack.

My feet lift,
Taking a bigger step,
And they rift
The ground that kept
My strength away from me
It's my turn now
To make marks on it
And I somehow
Stab my feet in it
Making it feel the pain I felt
When I was known to be a misfit.

The warmth of his hands,
Supporting when I fall
The warmth of his hand
Bringing me up
When I crawl.

Another step I take,
Not my biggest mistake
Because then,
The chains finally break.

I look up at the sky,
At the dancing auroras
Waving me goodbye,
Singing their fake silent lullaby.

Another step forward,
And my heart will prance
Under the lovely light,
My feet will dance,
Embracing me in
A whole new trance,

*Embracing me in
A whole new trance.

Can love be blind anyway?

I saw my mum yesterday
Tears pricking like sparkles trying to say
Something about that heavy ring
Which somehow did not bring
A smile onto her face
Marriage arranged
But now happiness diplaced.

Can love be blind anyway?

At the darkest night the moon radiating
The weakest light, peace creating
Their eyes lock but just for a second
And for rest of their lives
As my experience reckoned
The relation got red and they broke their ties.

Can love be blind anyway?

Her beauty was beyond compare
A poet sung 'bout that eyes, bare,
His voice slowly cracking
Her motherhood slowly coming near
He sung 'bout her day and night
She is beautiful, that's right,
The waving strands floating had their own wings
This secret admirer tried more to sing,
He was in love just as he said,
But now he's shoved to dread,
She broke her promises,
He broke his too,
Isn't love where promises rule?

Can love by blind anyway?

I think it's my time to have my say,
I'll see when I fall someday
Till then this question would forever sway.

Can love be blind anyway?

It was a gloomy day
When my past was recalled
By my forgetful mind
It was like a riddle solved
As I thought for days
If what was happening was deja vu
Or if it was true in some way
That something happened with me.

I tightly closed my eyes
And pictures started to appear
All the lies
I always hear
Were justified
By the truth told by my mind.

I got lost in my world of happiness:
Past was all it mattered for me
Uncovering all the shelves,
Ensconced in oblivion
Blowing away the layers of dust,
Pulling out the obsidian
Made by vague memories
Of childhood, love and happiness
My heart skipped a beat
As if it was love I found
As love is an euphoric sickness.

All the memories flashed
In front of my forgetful mind
The day I walked between the crowd
With a balloon in my hand,
The day I cried out loud,
And decided not to sit but stand
Without moving, to fulfill my demand
Or else roll down and cry
For a pretty doll I held in hand.

I jumped around nonchalantly,
Without thinking about future
I long to live in the now
Because somehow
Our thoughts are limited
To think more about life
And not about now.

I opened the windows
To let the past's golden ray
Come in and stay
To remind me what I forgot.

I forgot my childhood
But it's not too late
I should
Open my eyes
And look at the beauty of life
Through my younger soul's vision
Because it's time I should know
That beauty is in the eyes of a child
And that being oblivious to gloomy facts
Makes life more magical and less wild.

I am a little drop of tear
Falling from the eye of a soul in heaven
Willing to make his lover hear
That he watches her twenty four seven.

At the moment of despair
When he sighs out warm air
I make my way back to him
As if I was called upon by the grim
To finish my journey on land
And come back with memories hand in hand.

He never notices me
Since I am a ****** dew
So he never sees
That the people I trust are just few,
The people I love the most
Are limited in my heart.

I fall again
When he cries for his lover
I tap my fingers on her window
But she ignores it as she doesn't know
How much effort it takes
To help someone reunite
How much tantrums people make
When they have a fight.

His screams growl in the sky
The lightning flickers like a broken bulb
I am too shy
To tell I'm not comfortable being his messenger
When I have a message for him
But I still try,
To reach her,
Endeavoring to break her window
With the infuriated winds
To try and tell her he left
But now he only thinks
About her and no one else
Not even the one beside him, his messenger
The shy messenger, the silent one
Trying to wake up the resilient,
His lover, who has become deaf
After years of misery and listening to the heaven's cry
Without realising that it was her lover,
And an effort of the lonely messenger to make them reunite.

I am the small part of this story,
The story of three lovers,
I being the messenger
Being the soft and small part of his tear,
Reaching his lover,
Trying to make her smile,
Trying to make him smile
But as the rainy season ends,
All the tears freeze,
The cold winds start to blow,
The hard to bear heavy breeze,
I regret to make a delay
In trying to make him smile in glee
For all my petty efforts failed
To make him see that day
When like all the romantic stories
End in a cliche.

Stop.
It.
   Mind.
Just SHUT UP for once
Stop the streams from overflowing out from that useless brain
Put on breaks on the car you're driving fast and insane
Mind is stupid bleaming useless rhymes
To the twisted nerves of the twisted inward eye
Unfaithful teachings, Just stop before being taught
Untruthful preachings, it's all a lie but you don't get caught
You're all an illusion
But my thoughts, an addictive dillusion
It's all impossible things I think of
Then it's hard to breathe when I know it's true
That it's impossible to be with you
Just slow down the streams
That flow within me like a flue
Contagious to make me clear to stand away from truth
Stop deceiving me as if I am a stranger
Make things to me more elucid
Instead of pushing me into danger
Because I am a mere innocent kid
Trapped on your purposely slippery pathways
My car to future like this would soon skid.


You are me, you understand?
Stop pushing me and give me your hand
Take me up and up
Higher, I am not a scared pup
I know what you are doing
I am family, don't get me falling
DOWN
  BACK
TO EARTH
You are a part of me
Then let me see
How we could be
When we co-operate together in harmony.

So, brain,
Don't leave me alone
Be in control
Don't lose your track
I am behind your back
I'll be there for you
You'll be there for I
Let's not make us fall into the pit
Instead make the sky a target we should together hit.

Please don't cheat on I
Because you're the last one me trusts
Do never say to innocence your goodbyes
Or else like my words
We'll both be stuck here like
DuMb wOrst bUds.

Dear poetry,
You are still here aren't you
Why haven't you left me?
When I only ever wrote you gloomy,
Only so I feel better expressing myself to anyone who reads it
And discards it in their short term memory, left abandoned to be forgotten,
Why haven't you left me?
You're only there to display my grieves to those
Who look at you one second and look at someone else the other
Why haven't you left me?
When I rant on you, play with words on your belly to make an impact and point to the world
That my world isn't a happy place, that I am the biggest fault in my world
And you are the support which obscures all my faults
As they only see the calligraphy of words and mosaics I make out of you. They all seek beauty and heart touching sentences out of you and pluck them out like with their silly fingers and adore them. Cause why does anyone want to know about gloom? There is plenty in their world I bet.
While you over there materialise yourself for me and only me, open yourself to any other person who passes by and close down when they are done plucking out your beauty.
Why oh why, after all this are you with me?
Maybe because I have tied you to me
Maybe because I don't want you to leave.

I run fast to jump
Off the high and lofty cliff
To wake up from sleep.

I remember to breathe
Whenever I think of him
It’s possible to take one’s breath
And give them the reason to breathe
At the same time.

I remember to live,
Even when I give up,
I live for him,
Every breath I take
I take each one for him.

There are things I could never speak about.

Everything I could never tell you
Is everything that is not a lie
It is on the edge of my lips
But it couldn't slip,
I don't know why.

Everything I could never tell you
Is just right behind my eye
Which are curtained, the reflection of truth,
Are obscure and I deny
To throw in light on it.

Everything I could never tell you
Is written in letters away from your reach
Inscribed with difficulty on soft sheet
Everything about myself I could teach.

Everything I could I never tell you
Is everything you shouldn't know
Is has to be like this universe
It has to be a mystery performed long ago
Like the evolution this all has to soon disperse.

Everything I couldn't tell you
I'm sorry that I won't even when I'm gone
Everything I couldn't tell you
Is not interesting to scrutinize upon

I couldn't tell you
Because I was afraid that before me
You would be gone.

I stare at the mirror
A creature stares back at me
She has no features on her
But she keeps on banging her fist to be free.

I stare into the giant river
The ripples wrinkle her smooth face
Devoid of nose, devoid of eyes, devoid of lips,
Her face, I see, is the emptiest place.

I stare at my reflection,
But I'm acquainted with an unknown countenance,
Staring back at me like an empty piece of paper,
Begging words to be written on her to make sense.

But making sense wasn't enough.

..
......
.. .......      
           ..............
............
Sober hearts
        Drunk mind
Whiskey breaths
               The soul, kind
                       Soft whispering
        The head aching
                           Life hung up on string
But the body, faking
        Light up a cigar
          And forget the world
                            Let it all smoke
              Let the smoke whirl
Let the spirits rise
                    And leave for heaven
   Forget all the lies,
Just float up to the sky
         Like a free spirit
After being exiled
Put an end to your life
            Let the emotions evoke
   Let the weight be lifted
         .........And sway.....
Like   the      thoughtless      smoke
.................
               ­          ..............
...........
Fly away
   ....
..

The answer by my lips-


Yes, I am

Don't you think so?

Don't you see me smiling?

Don't you see my eyes crinkle?

Don't you notice my lips and heart reconciling,

Finally merely coordinating with one another?



I am laughing so much!

What a stupid question!

How can I not be happy?

Have you ever seen me cry?

I am not insinuating you

Into believing me

These tears are rolling down

Just because something went in my eye

Don't worry,

I am not going to let you drown

In this pool of tears.



I am laughing

Because I am crying

I am crying because

I am laughing.



Oh, I sound crazy right now?

It's not unusual

I am like that.

Some pitches are so high
That when one shouts
No one could listen
Except for the animals.

If they want Him to be the reflection of their father,
Then why don't they expect him
To make the same mistakes?

The only subject in the world
That enlightens you about the importance and beauty
Of all the other subjects around us
is History.

And you say we should forget the past?

Ask yourself, how are you feeling?
Sad, mad, happy, glad?
Maybe stuck in a hurricane of gloom, Where angry grey skies loom
High up above your head,
Even when they aren't near,
Your heart is filled with fear.

How are you feeling?
Write it all out
Maybe compare it with a simile or a metaphor so the reader feels it too,
You need these devices only for beautification,
So the reader connects with you.

One more tip,
I will make it quick
It is only for the comfort of lips,
That we make it all rhyme,
But it's not necessary,
Since at times we try rhyming it, and it doesn't make sense,
Like celebrating marriage (death) anniversary.

It is all up to you, what you have to write,
It doesn't have to be a structure,
There are no rules, no regulations,
Only you and your heart,
So let the ink flow to its natural tendency
And what will be will be.

So my dear writer, I hope I helped,
I hope you see it clear and bright,
It's your turn to tell me
How are feeling? Is everything alright?
Just write and write and write.

I beg his eyes
To look at me for once
Even a glance would suffice this hungry soul
A link with those eyes, make me lost
They're no less than a black hole.

I beg his lips to turn up to heaven
Those pretty little teeth
Flash to burn the darkness around me
So I find my way in the sunless day
With his smile even a blind will start to see.

I beg his ears
To listen to my voice
When I try to sing in the sweetest way (im)possible
Just so he could hear my voice
So he could hear only me above all the noise.  

I beg his nose
To smell this cheap perfume I wear
Just for his receptors to be aware
Of my invisible presence in his life
So in his mind my cheap perfume runs rife.

I beg his skin
To feel the waves of my love
On his tiny hair which makes dots of goosebumps
And wave them as if a wind is blowing
Out on his skin my love is always flowing.

I beg him
To beg for me
The way I beg for him
If only his soul is as tattered as mine.