Days passed
The world was so fast
To try to convince us
A purity of this degree could never last


We know
For the most part
We almost believed it
We almost conceded it
I remember asking God
A love so free
With my eyes closed
I’m captivated
Astonished by what my sight brings to me
I’m grateful to God that I finally see it
Even now

Even now
How far we’ve come
My heart still recovers
From a heart existing before you
Healing, thanks to a love that brought you

Your past
Haunts you too
Broken and torn
People left behind
A yesterday
We no longer mourn
I see it in your stride
Scars ever present still
But how you make it look with pride
Is a gift only God could have placed inside
Even now

Even now
9 months later
The idea conceived
Prosperity believed
What big mountains failed to deceive
Of heavens majestic slow tease
A happiness cooling through fires
Warming us through winter skies
What the first kiss could only seize
The birth of something pure
Truly deserving and relentlessly patient
Even now I see unto you
That which you’ve brought unto me
Uplifting compassion that is ushered daily
By you and you alone my queen
Unwavering peace.

HATE AGAINST SELF-HATE

Convictions from your neighbor
Parents always find new problems to address
Nocturnal thoughts usher everything you did wrong
Everything you can’t obtain yet obsess
And there’s nothing like being reminded of your most cunning regrets

But you know what
It’s alright

It’s alright to not have your crush crush over you
To only have two of your 2000 followers actually tell you the truth
Like your post and send genuine messages below your texts after retweeting “we love you”

It’s alright
To not have a flat stomach
And skip a day of bathing now and then
To have a long list of contacts and have  more than 100 view your status but to only have one on your speed dial that you call a friend

Hey listen, it’s alright
To spend days in bed, alone
To switch of your data and switch it on a day later to no messages or missed calls and question the real reason you have a phone

To completely **** at social media
And have the oldest version of WhatsApp and actually deplete your data on tumblr, google searches and checking updates on Wikipedia
To spend months indoors, hey!
Better the chances of your survival if listeriosis decides to be airborne
To use twitter for the free ****

Don’t worry yourself
It’s alright
To actually be the real deal photographer when overnight picture takers already make money and you don’t
To not have the retro vans
In black and white
Or the adidas tracksuit pants with protruding stripes
You don’t have to lie about living your best life if your just the best at just living life

It’s alright
You don’t have to have 100 pictures on your Instagram
You can just use it until your crush posts about their break up
So you can go back to saying how ****** men are
How they can’t value you because you laugh at your own jokes
Simply because no one is around to say, that’s the third time now Grace
That while other girls have **** collections you have a meme collection

Baby girl it’s alright
To have Nicki Minaj’s album cover have you question the beauty of the girl in the reflection
Or how you don’t look like Beyoncé after you pointed at her hairstyle in the saloon
How you don’t know what it is that stops you from loving yourself the way you claim to with #Snack and #Mood on your Twitter

It’s called escapism, socially enticed envy and identity disphoria darling
You know what it is now so stop crying whenever your phone is off
Going live on Instagram and having two viewers and no comments is alright

In fact it’s completely fine
It’s alright
To be the way you are right now
To keep a healthy diet because you want to see what asparagus will do to your taste buds
It’s nasty by the way so stick to McDonald’s chips and Nando’s fresh buns ohh the white powder!!!
Why choose to starve yourself and master the catwalk when the runway isn’t calling
Why trip over love when you don’t remember falling
Why entertain rude guys to keep a social life when your solitude was never boring
Why complicate your life when you slept easier knowing your phone could be off but they called you simple
Now they have no words of comfort to crutch you when their shallow thoughts are the reason you’re socially crippled
Braam is dope
Pretoria is amazing
Rosebank is fantastic
but pizza at home with choc chipped ice cream watching the Avengers is just something

It’s alright bro
Six pack for who
I know brothers chiseled from iron that still get the flu
My crooked smile does wonders
These broad shoulder looking men that skip leg day are going through a stage
I personally go to the gym to outrun a dog that escaped from its cage

It’s alright fam
You are not the same
And that’s something great
As a kid you said you wanted to be different
You’re finally here
The next time you’re invited to a Braai
While others offer expectations, mediocrity and FOMO because they can’t wait
You’ll bring innovation, uniqueness, patiences and a true definition of what a human being is overflowing on your plate

It’s alright
Stay real!

Middle ground
Surface area
Black lives matter
White matter
No man’s land
Grey matter

All lives matter
That’s the counter argument
Ridiculous
Spontaneous propaganda
Systematic retaliation
But let’s argue it

When you look at me
What do you see
Honestly
A black man

But what am I
Human in my simplest capacity
Yet don’t treat me as such
Yet don’t view me as such
Yet don’t value me as such

All races matter
All others be sprinting and leaving us to be short put and javelin on the sidelines
The corners of my mind can’t handle being marginalized
Where your past experiences leave me ostracized

I’ve never held a gun
But let me be seen as a mugging assassin trained by neglect and blood exposed  aggression that feeds off the spare change in your purse when you encounter me in the passage

You think being called a racist is offensive
Try deducing a sentence from a stranger’s body language as her eye movement and shrieking soiled palms suggest each limb to scream
“Criminal!”
Defamed disdained inhuman filth of the earth literally blackening darker and darker each day

Black lives matter
Because each life scatters when the black blood splatters
When the legs of black women are forcibly departed
As her dignity is degraded
Her self-worth lynched in a fiery dismemberment
As each article of clothing is discarded

You can’t use our religion
Turn gold white and claim credit like how Jesus turned water into wine
And still take our body image

It’s not fashion it’s ethnicity
It’s not a chosen lifestyle
It’s culture
Then realize you can’t do it like we do
And call it uncivilized and barbaric
And anything before your story I mean history is oral based mythology
Never mind that

You’ve confused dark skinned societies that they have pockets too deep in their baggy jeans and a recessive nature in their biology

But let’s speak truth
Psychology states
A bully ill-treats someone they desire to be like
I know dudes who play golf that wanted to be like mike
Actually invested in a kit and purchased a ball
To find out their hands along with something downstairs being too small
You know what they say

Middle ground
Surface area
Black lives matter
White matter
No man’s land
Grey matter

They got calculators and rulers
But the measures are wrong
From a scale of perfect to trying
You can’t be too much
He, looked up to, was let down at some point
The fine point of a sharp pencil
A double edged sword
Who is mightier
She that serves her purpose and stops with the comparison
Yes the libra scale see saws
But can’t comprehend  
What the sea saw
The final piece of this jigsaw
When the zig zag of you life line
Speaks life from a smelly breathe seeking a tic tac but your still beautiful this time

An average person takes about 2000 steps from pacing to chasing
the Mark Set for them to Go! racing
In a day you enter more days than you can count, look through more windows than the sun can shine through over an about

So you know what?
You’ve reached countless destinations
Even as you carry procrastination
You’ve woken up despite continuous sleep temptations
You’ve breathed life into your ambition escaping stagnation
And I know you travel at light speeds but here’s a little push proclamation
To practice, remember or distract yourself when waiting at the station

“The greatest exhilaration stems from self realization based towards who one can be and not who one should be”

Peace
            Love
                    &
                        Happiness

                                                     •Nostalgic•

Haze.

Cloud formation
9 degrees from location
I can’t see the formation
Of fear adopting me from temptation

It wasn’t honor or pride
It’s fear of what consequence resides
The naked plush of a lustful rush
In the trippy black out
emphasized by my friend’s paintbrush

I’ve never thought fantasy could be escalated
seems I’ve hit a milestone
I’ve shot up a dragon ride home
Now I’m excited by warmth and fascinated by combs
I’ve never wandered the medieval before
That’s why I stuck to game of thrones

My minds been freed
My body, imprisoned
It can’t be explained but it’s nothing depicted in illustrated predictions of purple, red and off key balance as seen in pulp fiction

They say drug use is escapism
Acid burnt down the bars of social anxiety disorders and confines of 3rd dimensional prisms
Left bare dialectical materialism
Molly taught me how to make friends
While your sobriety made you prone to solipsism

This was always what I’d imagined it to be
When I close my eyes and see
For a while I had looked over the wall than walk through the gate
Always drew the solution with stick to sand but never went into the maze
Always window shopped the shoes
But never tried them on to walked the way
Perhaps it’s a common laymen’s phrase
That drugs are a paradise lost in the haze.

Perfection doesn’t exist

It’s a non-existing standard we can define by nothing more than our desperation and pursuit of completion
It’s deluding and is painful to bare, in fact letting of go of it opens up so many pores of acceptance and contentment without hindering ones ambition of aspiration

One shouldn’t go with the other
Perfection is not meant to go hand in hand with ambition
In fact the healthiest more achievable form of ambition is that which exist without the ******* of perfection in its walls and foundation

Ambition is healthy, the idea of perfection on the other hand is dangerous and so mythological that it causes a great deal of inadequacy to those that still hold on to its empty promises.

Let us produce great results, great being the profound collective exchange between good and bad, happy and sad, what is positive and what is negative

These are not opposing forces, that’s what perfection has convinced us of, they are parallel systems of reality that make and break it equally, as one cannot exist without the other in specific instance

Belief in perfection is as dangerous in a mentally ill person’s conviction to jump off a sky scrapper believing he can fly, it’s becomes more damaging the more we believe in it.

Perfection is not peaceful it is stagnant, it’s monotonous and deceptive
In fact perfection is cruel because it convinces is of a reality we seek and pursue when we can’t even imagine

It has no beginning nor an ending because that’d process and progress
Meaning perfection in a reality of progress never was and will never be but doesn’t want you to believe that, in fact the only thing that brought perfection into conception and gave it the nerve to even exist in our reality as the theory it exists on is the falsehood it’s made a home of in our hearts and in our souls, that’s why it’s hard to imagine but even harder to get rid of and eradicate.

Can’t sleep
Do you expect me to
What would you do?
Heart-ache and temple throbbing
For Pete sake and hood of Robben
We argued, about an hour ago
But not like we used to
This became personal
It was too soon...
You feared you lost me
And I swore I didn’t know you

I hate this
Every part of it
Every segment of it
Can it be personified
Have a mind of it's own
So it can be filled with lies
So I can hate it’s guts
So my hatred can’t be swallowed
So you doesn’t enter your pie and leave out your ****

I’m hating what these questions have become
Because certain answers we fear and lived avoiding some
I hope you never leave
But that you constantly come
May I be a home for you
May you love me like you did yesterday
So in your palm I may hide
And on my chest you may rest.