i can't wait until the day
i wake up
and realize
     i've fallen in love
the same way that dusk falls
onto the skyline

     it's an obvious thing that you don't notice
until the sky lights itself on fire
with the last three drops of light

how could i ever expect to believe
that you understand
when you and i both know
     we see the world through different eyes

you don't see the monsters
who hide beneath my eyelids
you don't hear the things they whisper whilst i sleep
     you don't see my ****** up dreams

and yes
     i'd love for you to stay
and i do taste your flesh
          in the way you say "i know"

but
     no
you don't

so
     know this

this is why i rush you to leave
why i won't let you say "need"
     why i lock the door

this is why you DO want me more

          because i like you too much to break you
     and i'd hate to share with you my shadows

i often times get distracted from myself
by the person i like to think that i am

she's a ******* catch
     a cash-in-hand
     done-deal find
worth every dime

i'm tangled up line
     woven into the creek-bed
that couldn't even catch the sunlight

but it's alright

     i got a few coats of gold krylon
hiding my rust from the mirror

"Mummy can we dream?, can we pretend we're not living in the streets?
Can we pretend to be high and mighty sipping on some coffee with cream?
Can we mum?"

"Mummy can we dream? Can we pretend the muffled screams are sounds of joy rather than pain?
Mummy can we please?"

"Lets pretend dad's here, he's happy and you're not crying yourself to sleep.
Can we pretend that I don't have these scars and that my uncle never hit me with beer bottles, lets pretend he bought me a teddy named cuddles".

"Mummy can we dream?"
"Can we pretend Aunty never killed herself and that Granddaddy never pulled the trigger on Grandma?"

"Please mum lets pretend?"