I wonder,

When my wellspring of tears
Flows freely on your shores

Would you dip your toes in the icy water,


Or only bask in the warm sand?

Hello again,
Little one

It's been five whole years now,
Can you believe?

How time passes with the falling of each leaf,

How I always got to love you
But we never got to meet?

I get sad sometimes,
Thinking of your little feet

The way you might have cried so much
That I would never sleep

But it's that time of year again, little one
And once again, I weep

Because you are the greatest love
I never got to keep.

how does it feel to be this cold?

so much now
that not even
the raging flame
of your self hatred
can keep you warm anymore

so happy lately
maybe it's you baby
write me a song about hazy days
we sing and we dance on the daily
aren't we crazy
reaching so far for the stars
we get spacey
you're singing to me in the car
how did we get so close to home
by running so far but never alone
speeding and crashing together in the snow like
your arms are where i was destined to go
and my soul is the only one that you wanna know
we're spinning and feeling
unreeling and healing
if i was a liar i'd claim that you were stealing
my heart but i can only scream at the top of my lungs
that oh, Sunshine
my Love, my Light
i am giving it to you
eagerly,
entirely,
every day
and every night

My want grows for the
Bright crystal dawn,
Beautiful, she!
To rejoice in the morning,
Her dewey blades of grass
And echoed birdsong,
Crisp cool on the nape
And aglow her yellow hues,
Her little gray clouds
Strewn about the sky

Oh, how I long for the spring
To come again

nothing can ever be
what once it was
a sad truth, yes
you must accept it
nonetheless

Come at me with your abhorrent prose,
Your words which disgust and defile
All those who claim the displeasure of hearing.

Your detestable voice,
The likes of which causes a homicidal rage
To grow in me;

How truly deplorable you are

Moonlight,
Set me free
I beg of you,
Hear my plea
Take this darkness
Away from me
Give me a brand new
Epiphany

I'm sorry.
It's just that my heart hurts.
I love you, and I want to make it work with you,
But I'm afraid of myself.
I worry
That my fears will take me over.
I'm scared
They already have.

i never could've been,
could i?
the one you wanted,
the one you yearned for

and i knew it
all the should'ves in the world could never have saved me
and all the doubt i feel would be the death of me
i wasn't attached until i was

and somehow the moment i was
it was over
goodbye

like never a word was exchanged between us
like we had never known each other like we do
how can you know me better than i know myself
and now be a stranger?

how can i know you like i do
and never be allowed to say a word?
you said friends and here we are,
you've made a fool of yourself and

i still miss you,
which makes a fool of me
a fool indeed,
a fool who loved you a way she didn't understand

an absolute jester, a clown
someone for you to laugh at
i wish i had more self respect
than to still need you

or feel like i need to
talk to you every day
when the reason we're here
is because we had nothing to say

because we were no one without each other
but not even ourselves together

and i was pained by you,
the fact that we weren't who we wanted to be
so now i am without a warmth to hold me again
because i must learn to be my own

you ruined me
but i am determined to find myself for the first time
in my life

You drive me wild
with your nicotine kisses.
You keep me calm
with your pipe-dream wishes.
you have me feeling some sort of way,
You have me waking up another day
To see the sun, to smile, to say
That I Love You
How dumb would it be to say that
You're my sun and I am your moon?
When they're always chasing each other but rarely meet.
It's more like you and I are Yin and Yang
to each other, the reverse
Yang and Yin,
Longing forever,
Eternally cursed

"AMON, or AAMON, is a great and mighty marques, and commeth abroad in the likeness of a wolf, having a serpents tail, vomiting flames of fire; when he putteth on the shape of a man, he sheweth out dogs teeth, and a great head like a mighty night hawk; he is the strongest prince of all other, and understandeth of all things past and to come, he procureth favor, and reconcile both friend and foe, and rule forthy legions of devils"

oh, you hapless *******
love with a hasty touch
and throw me for a loop
crying and saying sorry
shaking with urgency
come close and unfreeze me
take my body and warm it
better yet
don't
i hope you cry and keep crying
petrifying
in that house alone
hallucinating you had someone
to love again
would you love me again?
i can find someone new
someone not you
someone who
brags about their love and not their conquests
someone to help me heal this heart in my chest
and i knew you couldnt do it but i hoped
at the very least i thought you could help me cope
but you can't even deal with your own ****
saying im unhinged
when you chain yourself to drug and drink
downing all that moonshine
drowning inside your mind
and not having time for anyone but yourself
i wish i knew
you'd turn into the old you
once more

you're cute,
******* boy
so sticky sweet
come in and put me in a chokehold
make my heart beat
like a thousand drums
pounding away
chase me around the sheets
turn night into day

Oops - I guess I called it
But you and I
Just wouldn't work, I knew
Between I and you
There's a distance
Where you are stuck and so am I
Miles away,
Your day is my night
But now I'm rolling down the road
When I somehow pass your exit sign
And I came to know
Something about me,
That maybe where you're at
Isn't where I want to be

Hurt me
Just hurt me already,
I'm tired of waiting for that part

If you're going to do it
Do it quick,
And stab me through the heart

Sometimes
I hear a gravestone calling my name
Joyous is the day when I answer

Am I

Your moon in the sky

Or just another star

Passing your eye?

I'm so sorry

I wish I was as in love with living
As I am in love with you

But I promise, I will stay
Just a little while longer

Because that is all you ask of me

perhaps i should just give

and then continue to give

and then give until i am no more.

for i am Second,
and you are First,
since the beginning,
and until whenever.

When will the sympathy come
For those like me
Saturating themselves with all the negative emotions they feel
Who never were permitted to release themselves from their own prisons?

your voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard
the way it sounds makes me angry

when you just won't shut up
when you think you're so smart over something you know nothing about

just leave me alone,
you're not as great as you think you are.

I want to be Heard
but you don't listen to me
God, I want to be heard.
When I say I am mad,
When I tell you what bothers me.
I want you to LISTEN to me!!

I want to be Seen
but you don't look my way
I just want to be seen.
When I wear something nice,
When I wear nothing at all
I want you to NOTICE me!!!

I want to be Touched,
but you don't put your hands on me
I want you to touch me
When I lean into a hug,
When I'm starved for your attention
I want you to APPRECIATE me!!!


I want to be Wanted,
but you don't seem to want me,
or my words,
or my face,
or my body.
I just want you to WANT me!!!

But I could lay myself out for you,
naked and eager and beautiful and sweet,
and it's sad that
you would remain
entranced by anything else in the world
but me.

It matters not the words I say,
Or how I scream out for a hand,
Anyone's,

To help pull me out of the dark
Where I have so long resided.

It matters not how far I reach
Or how hard I long for a feeling
That doesn't threaten to destroy me,

The way of the world is such
That not a single soul emerges unscathed.

I become fearful sometimes,
That I am my fear,
And my fear is me.
A terrifying thought,
That I should be my own end,
Or even that I will be.

I almost forgot what good days were,
That it didn't have to be extra to be extra special.

But today we are lazy,
And we are at home,
And we haven't done anything at all.

You're making food,
I am watching a movie,
And today has been a good day.