It was almost a birthmark, a death sentence embossed on the deepest crevice on her heart. Grace had always known that the noble blood fleshed her existence. In return of power and glory, she must wear the brightest crown which will light the horizons to a warm shade of amber. That someday she would rise together with the sun and cradle the stars with this invigorating honor.

The princess fancied the notion of becoming next queen for its promised delight as other royals often tell her. Every time she shut death to birthday candles, it was all that she wished from the watching gods above. To be the perfect heir, the ideal ruler, and especially, the greatest candidate for the crown.

From the gardens waved the precocious white bloom of calla lilies. The clouds were a dash of milk frozen from the never ending stretch of blue. Faint chirps of birds echoed around the towers. On the palace ground, Grace acquired skills of a squire, for it was written through time she would defend this very castle in her hands. Days were occupied with lessons and lunches, meetings with lords and charities. She was a lady of compassion, inherited the old queen’s discipline and sophistication. The townspeople loved her greatly. They cherished her like a living ornament caught in a sea of the unlikely. A depiction of a good woman whose soul was constructed to comply with the rules and duties she is given. Accustomed from the expectations, the princess endures hardships, turning predicaments into something magnificent. The entire kingdom was pleased. And only then, the exploring winds tell otherwise.

Nobody knew Grace wanted to dance. There was this rhythm of renaissance enough to make her pointe shoes swoon across the dungeon room, her shadow--the audience. Instead of being entertained by minstrels, she would prefer the empty theater which she calls home whenever the sun sinks a sudden thought of change. Or that one time she secretly headed for the woods, not far from the stream, and put on a show for the skeletal trees to applaud to. A perfect piece of broken melody. That is what she all was. Her desires transformed into a banquet she must not feast on.

Because she is everything the crown is not.

A young amateur star, an artist of fascination, and a dreamer of the unknown. Perhaps, these were enough reasons why she became a magnet for chaos and everlasting detriments. It murdered her during the day-- kissed her a goodnight. The almond eyes that sync with her cinnamon tea, swirling in brown, blinked briny tears. From withstanding the pain, sustaining the hold, even though the harsh fate made its call. The only concept which drove her far is everyone’s acceptance.

But who could she be really? A figment on the stage? If at each glide the eyes foresee her as a rebel, much to her chagrin, who would look at her then? If the depth of the ocean has been buried within her voice, to everyone’s astonishment, who would listen to her anyways? What if she does not fulfill the responsibility which the kingdom predetermined for her, approved of her? Who would love Grace?

She built an empire so high, she cannot climb down her own stairs.

The message of the wind sounded like a terrible lullaby. It was too venomous for her dilemma. Because until this moment, this scenery, this pronounced living, she never stop hoping that one day, she will no longer be a stranger to herself. When the archbishop lifted the crown from the velvet cushion, the stones shimmered its vow as the brightest. The Queen’s authority shined through all of them. Before she sheds a tear, it already settled on her head, delicate and ethereal, faultless. Grace realized she spent most of her life fitting the crown which does not belong to her in any form.

No! She is not going to mourn another morning, nor sleep the night with a heavy heart. Fear might threatened to slit her throat, but she was not having it! The princess unveiled her mask and hurled the kingdom’s crown beyond the assembly.

“What a disgrace!” They thundered.

The formation of her identity is what stunned the people. None of them expected such disaster to occur, due to this, her royal majesty has sent all white horses in search of the beloved child. Nowhere to be found, her linen dresses flickered in fire while the crowd stared in horror. And she was nothing, but a forgotten soul.

Trees were once again clothed in green after the icy blaze of winter. The princess raced through the minty grasses and drank the enchanting smell of lilac, almost like a doe playing in the wild. She felt light as a feather, dancing in joyful exuberance. Other girls joined her below the white sunshine as they twirled and sang. It was the perfect moment to reveal the blind side buried for so many times. The blood that once dripped in the glass of her ill-reflection began to fill the rims of imperfection. Luminescence was so brilliant she had to squint to see.

The brightest crown anyone can wear is to be their true selves. No matter who you were born to, or where you live, despite the obstacles, and consequences. It does not make you less of a person, for you already are complete.

She was not a disgrace. It is still Grace after all.

THIS GRACE…

On a layered crisp of sunlight
I saw her changing
Under the waltz of everlasting orange
She began to wither
Piece by piece



- unspoken mood

When i stroke my pen
to write this,
I wonder if you imagined
that i'm a poet
As i wake from another
disbanded sunrise,
I wonder if you screamed
me out of this pessimistic vision
Everytime i would pedal
my bike during the hot summer,
I still think if i ever breathed
the air that evaded your lips
and while i do that,
Each time you make coffee
for the weekends,
I wonder if you guessed that someday you will have to share it
with a familiar person
of the future
Whenever the eyes cry salty tears,
have you sailed your deepest
thoughts on a paperboat?
Like finding me in the ends
of the world after the
midst of calamities
I guessed both of us may wonder,
in a sea of strangers
at a broken
streetlight,
Will we recognize
each other?

Since i was introduced to existence
The blood that nourished your bones pampered me
Your eyes that drained a color of a tree
Watched as I grow out such limbs and make sense

When I came to form a memory
You handed a portion of ladder
Say I must climb so time will run free
We can spend time with one another

As I go up and learned my distance below
Running like a machine for myself to follow
I cherished being with you in times of sorrow
Also capture moments no one can borrow

Through this ladder I saw the fountain of gold
In this height, the mountains are something to hold
Look how far we had climbed til our bond is strong
I hope this thing last for a million years long

But as time liberates us from the unknown
The bars are getting cold and so does it rust
"Child, don't you worry for memories are sewn."
With that being told, the next step became dust

I stopped climbing because it's over
I sat to put my tears in slumber
But hey, look how far we have hovered
Being grateful, you became my mother

Being white...is now a sin to society.







I was nothing but a plain canvass. Hanging in the wall, the consummate design of purity. One day, I threw a dot in the middle of my frame to see how life is like. Then all of the sudden, I became the attention of most paintings. I was art. I was meaningful. The thought of my imperfection is art. But not all commits to that sense of style, and they judged me. They smudged me with colors I'm unfamiliar with. Their hands changed me in terms of tragedy, just like themselves. My innocence became abstract with different intentions. The white no longer defined me, but the sins they made me do provide.

Gifts. Not all gifts consist of contagious laughs, nor shrieking woes. For most children, they receive joy, and sometimes a coffin for the old. Mine was hard to distinguish even up today. Because it was dressed like a daydream under the sheets of gray. A snowglobe, a sculpture of two faces, the atmosphere that surrounds it like a womb. It felt secure. A city of our dreams where no one can touch. The love that never came to me was there to watch. I remember feeling almost everything to the sound of your breath and fascinating wonders. With you the glitters there form a twister. The figures within will dance until their feet numb. Christmas hums whisper through the effect of the words 'i love you'. And those were the reasons I forgot it was all a lie. I forced myself a sweet lie. Because somehow, I lost the sense of reality. Your hands will never intertwine mine. Your eyes will never see that little world. Eventhough I admit I was fine, I blinded myself in this light. The thought of you managed to make chilly snows as glitter. The colors turned dull as I make out our figure. As if a midnight train, you abandoned our memories at dawn. And your heart making decisions like stone. It was gloomy and cold and funny. The perfect piece of broken melody. So I sing with this gift that you bestow, locking my soul in eternal sorrow.

Last night, I saw the light of the world. They are scattered, all around each continent. I felt our differences, and the difference we made. What's surprising is I'm a kid, a girl, who had seen it. But others did not. And where did I see this thing again? In a kids' movie. But Anna, that's absurd.

To me, the absurd part is when you did not see it for yourselves, to even notice. And no, we're not talking about Disney or Barbie alright. Back to the lights, nowadays, some are lit and some are dimmed. Do you remember the movie "Mulan"? The girl who fought for China? I recalled the Emperor tells something to Shan Yu when he let Mulan slipped away after their victory. The Emperor spoke to him, "You don't get to meet a girl like that every dynasty." That opened my eyes.

In this dynasty, or pronounced era, I see her. I see that light. It was everywhere. It was coming from you. I've heard it. Seeing that movie makes me think how much of the world has changed. People no longer wished to only have sons, but also daughters. Pressure no longer burdened men cause they got us too. And the privilege and responsibility somehow became equal. Look where it took us. Businesses, innovations, schools, inspirations? We went this far when we worked together. I observed this even if I'm a youngster. What more can you do? If you're doubting your light, may it be men or women, a girl just saved a country, a boy just saved humanity.

How about you? Would you save the world too?

I use to ink my pen with abyss
a routine to inject stardust
in my verses
and blossom the budding words
of the emotionless
moments when space and ocean
touches
you can read nothingness
and Atlantis
all at the same time

What was it like to view the past?

It's hearing every notes in the piano.

High and low.

We did love each other

Even time is speeding but my heart forgets slow

I really love you, just so you know

what is it about
dreams that
we want to
stay on it
even when there
are nightmares?

is it because it
does not mimick
one word
from reality?

You kissed my lips
And that was the time
I never wrote
One poem nor
One song

And it saddens me

Listening to the devil
is seeing the
depths of hell
in your
own hands

Then, there you are,
with her,
while i was helplessly
watching my figure
disappear on your face

Why do sad girls only write about being broken and sadness itself?

Because they know joy is a temporary guest everybody wants to entertain, therefore expected to leave...

I love you
more in my
memory
than in
reality

Our memories are like shells
that form
constellations
in the
cold
cold
sand
The friction of such can cause
the same sound
of your
forgotten
giggle
Our oceans,
aligned with pink skies,
clouded our minds
as we
isolate
reality
You are one of the most
precious ornament
I've ever collected
within my
island
Only if high waters doesn't shove little things
Only if sails are stable in every swift
Only if mermaids are forever singing
Only if we learned how to keep

Didn't I tell you that you're
beautiful as the lights
floating in the city?
Didn't you tell me
that long ago my sight
always varies?
From the the truth
that is so obvious,
but subtle around me.
Baby, I think it's just my love
rising above your
identity

We're those people
who hated Earth
its hurricanes, waves,
and miserable beauty
So we made our own
farther from it
I had always loved you
to the Neptune and back
although it's quite freezing here
we liked cold things
I feast on them, while
you devour chunks of
stardust and blackholes
I had always loved you
to the Neptune and back
even though I'm dying here
and you're that forceful wind
sweeping tears away
without such passion
and you liked it
I was Neptune itself
unable to destroy the ice you
casted on me
because I myself couldn't
unfreeze myself through
the warmth of truth

I never knew I needed it
I never knew I needed Earth
I never knew I needed home
That was never Neptune's
arctic stones

Does it always have
to be the red balloon
that flies?
When it should be
the permanent
blue skies
There are various colors
waiting, but ain't red
I hate the sluice of indigo
and sulfuric smell of purple
Not because of the lies
that lay ahead
It reminds me of the happiness
I lost in quadruple

Once there was a world bound in annihilation and pure chaotic evil. Where everyone is hunted every night they close their threatened eyes. And by means of evil, it's not that ****** imagery on your mind. It's the heart of yours located from the inside. Hearts were prized preciously than sparkling diamonds. This is a certain generation, you can survive without a heart. I wasn't aware for I'm a fragile youth living in the hearth of the city. I am the center, and I am the middle of the good and wicked. But I got aware, got involved, got informed, because of him. Him who mauled, shattered the innocent life of mine. Now I know that I had entered the world of reality. I lost my heart. Losing it was like breathing in space, unable to sense anything. You can only avail the mind that controls everything. It's hard to manage this realm of truth. I went to the doctors to engrave my ruined heart. After that replacement, I recalled the pain he gave me. It felt like we're oceans apart. That day was the day I can see colors despite all of the darkness around. I cherished the moment when I heard its beating sound. One life down.

But, one random nocturnal slumber, something crashing interrupted my dream. I wasn't awake nor conscious, only shuddering black themed ruled my delusion. Then, endless reticence spoke for a minute, I was shocked in confusion. It sounded like scurrying feet of rodents. Surprisingly, I'm all out of emotions. Numbed as a frost, lifeless as a wind. I dared to subject my eyes my eyes to the occurrence. Nothing. Just the obfuscated glow of my surroundings and the lazy stare of the moon. I smiled, but nothing stirred on me. There's no presence of energy as if I'm a drained battery. I knew there was a thief that stole my heart. My grandma said, "Someday, a man will teach you to trust people even though they make a fool out of you." I put faith on her sentence. Knowing there would be someone out there who will protect me from dangerous harm in his loving arm. So, I planted another heart on my chest. Two lives down.

Walking down on life's sorrowful trail was perfidious, but hey, since I found him, we were bewitched. Bewitched on each other's kindness. He fulfilled my grandma's prophecy. It's over. No more dreaming. Because the dream I dreamed is no longer dimmed. We were dancing in the white light of peace. As I glided onto him, something sharp and metal plunges in my back, more like an intenional jab. He betrayed me..Hoots of laughter trapped my ears forcing me to run. I'm such a loser. I lost three lives in total. There's no way I'm getting them back. Knowledge took place; emotions abandoned me.

And maybe that's the reason I am standing here on my grandma's funeral without feeling such grieve nor pain. All I have is her and she's gone. If I can just close me eyes, so nothing will matter anymore. Except me and her. No more lightning nor thunder. Only a butterfly and a flower. The dull sky was carrying tears. The only thing that I hold is her prophecy. And I'm about to let it go. Before I say the word 'goodbye', the rain drops in trickling pain. And suddenly, you came. You covered me on your feathers. I was cold, while you were warm. You're in white, while I was in black. You were smiling, while I was frowning. See, physically we're already opposite. But, I wasn't expecting we're going to be the same emotionally. Ever since I met you, I had my perfect reason to live.

I may not feel you, but I can't stop thinking about you. I may not laugh on your funny jokes, yet it's always my desire to giggle at them. I may not cry with you everytime you're sad, but I'm here to shelter you. I may, I may, obey whatever you say since the day you came the world isn't a game. Instead, it's a dark chocolate with me as your surprise center. This question popped when were stargazing. "Can I keep you?" I wanted to say yes so badly, but I don't want to hurt you so badly too. I remember that I can't love. I'd rather die than to wound your last heart. The last heart you've risked for you to love me. So I told you everything that separated us. This timing and the world against us. You just grinned, "No need. I have the solution." I was startled. My mind was oozing impossibilities. You offered a small box with an enigmatic object. I opened it quickly and saw it. They're not diamonds. It's the half of your heart. You spoke, "So you can feel again." You are surely the one. You're the prophecy. As you did the honors to put it on me, I stared at you. You were lively. In a matter of seconds, I realized that I love you. I now sense your love. And baby, a colossal YES to be with you. Reign of tears escaped my eyes. Then, you whispered my name with a romantic question, "Can I kiss you?" I didn't reply. I just nodded and chuckled and we've kissed.

Moving on for you was like
extinguishing forest fires
that represented how
wild and alive
our love was

And baby, it's no use
killing them rapidly too

I could just write about
the bliss
that whitens the sand below the water
but I chose to call upon
the moon
to trade some secret blues

Maybe I was like it,
Perhaps I was sad and alone,
Maybe I am the good..or am the evil

Being that
subtle lamp
over your lonesome stars

He stepped a foot above the railway tracks
Brought his sentimental items as he packed
I rested and rested but was blind to see
He brought something familiar---something me

The wind that glides throught the bark of winter trees
Is as cold as the coldest alps
Solidifies me within the cave of time
Your voice dying in memories

It feels like fireworks in the midst of a whirlpool. It's like considering yourself as one crazy denying fool. You'll admire yourself on the mirror wishing you can be notice by your attributes, wishing you were pretty. Or fantasize events that is a kiss away from reality. Dress your best to impress throughout the night. Most notably, smile for no reason. We've all been there. You'll just observe your name changed to Alice. The Alice who walks inside his life, into his wonderland. You never get tired of it. To tell you, even the happiest place on Earth could be tbe prison that tortures you in. And you aren't aware of it because you loved everything about him, until you turned to be negligent to yourself. Sometimes, you get fond of your jewel tears for they are the TREND, the BLOOD, the depiction of malignant PAIN. Girl, it costs a lot. There's nothing beautiful about them. It's not worth it. It's not right to commit self-harm just to prove how dark you could be. Keep in mind, you are the light to this world. Never the destruction. You are made to inspire. To mold the world even a better place, to make a stand for correct treatment. Then, one day, you learnt you're disgusting. You're ugly, just because he rejected you or hurt you. Don't swap your confidence over ungrateful things. You are beautiful. No need to change unless it's an urge to improve.

There's nothing wrong with fantasizing, but be careful. Every scene on your little play might bring you agony and ups and downs. Speaking of looking good, dress for yourself, not for men. Wear heels, sweatshirts, makeup because you wanted too. Not because someone like you to. It's a huge talk that you're finally comfortable with your own skin. Same to men. Don't be shy and timid and express whatbyou truly feel, it's not less masculine. We are humans, we all have problems to share with. If you decided to keep it, your anchor will drown you. Smile with all your heart and freedom. Do it while it lasts. And it will last if you're with us. Maybe one day, peace would be no longer a word applicable to counted countries, but a sight of a new coming tomorrow.

To her friends, she is the angel created to save
To her lovers, she is the demon built to ****
But only a piercing true man enough to be brave
Can see she is an angel made by the devil

Floating in the
sea of salty tears
I find myself crying,
myself wearing,
through the endless
journey of gone
Blood and bones made
at every corner of this ship
across this mischievous town
Why do I keep floating,
when I can sink within
the clotting of my pain?
We still travel
as we kept to unravel
things that were
always empty
We're like ghost ships;
leaving, disappearing
without any
trace nor marks

Accompanied by the harmonic dance of the sea, I stated my words freely, "You are my treasure my love." At first you were startled, like a man sinking in a pool of confusing words. You didn't quite comprehend what I had said. But I was there to make you understand, to make you feel valuable like the ball of ruby bading its goodbye before our sight. I have nothing to give except the love you receive. You are silent as if a gust of wind whispering through my ears. I continued, "How can I ask for more? If I'll be with you forevermore. I may not be a colorful butterfly when I entered your life, yet we complete each other. We fit together." At some point, it hits you. I don't know why. You looked down with guilt and shame. My love, you haven't done anything wrong.  Why did the warm hue of the sky suddenly transformed into a cold tint that freezes time? You raised your chin with uneasiness on your hazy breath. Somehow, your smile went sad, your face gave an impression so blue. I tried to cheer myself up, but I couldnt. Because we are ONE.  Yes my love, we are one.

Sighing upon the crystallized waves of the sea, you spoke on a voice so deep, "My love, I do not own a diamond. I can not also afford a mansion for us to sleep in, even a bed that is soft and comfortable as a feather. Iam never your knight in shining armor. Apologies, my love, I can't provide your purse with thousands of money, nor possess a lot of business to sustain our needs. Yes! I do love you. But I don't see any righteous reasons for you to treat me as your treasure."

I reached for your cheeks to tell you a secret. With a single touch of my palm, you became courageous and unafraid. You gulped all your saliva like you finally accepted yourself. The sun sailed away and the last sunlight struck your face. Our eyes did not break its communication. You detached my hand from your cheeks, kissing it while I was searching for words. Nothing. No words escape my mouth because everything has been said. That specific moment holding us. A stare that convinces you not to look behind the mask. Your wistful smile seeks for an answer, and you seek for the truth. So, I had concluded. For the truth might soothe you. My voice began to shiver, trembling.  I was choking from my intense emotions that burnt my insides. I tried to hold it back, but that tamed angelic face of yours, made me realize that you're the only thing I couldn't resist. As I expressed what my heart was singing to me, beads of water initiates to descend under my mystical eyes.

I told you my cherished words, "My love, you have them all. You gave them all to me. Diamonds. Everytime I will soar to your majestic eyes, I can see million of diamonds shine. Although we don't have any comfy bed to slumber in, the night's worth it. Just to be close to your loving arms. Yes, indeed you are right. You're never my knight in shining armor, because you're my king and I'm your queen. Lastly, we may not have the assets to be very busy at just to earn and feed ourselves,  but we have the sea, the hills, the sunrise and sunset. Just a glimpse at any of those fulls my stomach with joy for days. Plus, you may not put sufficient cash on my purse, but just a photograph of yours makes it more then enough. My love, can't you see?  You are everything to me. You are my treasure."