when i was 4 i lost my dog
when i was 5 my favorite blanket ripped
when i was 6 my favorite toy broke
my mom told me over and over again that it would be okay
she told me there was good and bad in every situation
including this one
on my 7th birthday my mom surprised me
my favorite toy and blanket were fixed
she told me that if you care about something
fix it
now i sit in my room
i think about the difference between losing you
and you finding someone else
i search my mind looking for the answers
the same way i search down the streets
trying to catch sight of you
i feel like a lost dog
the one that wouldn't be lost if someone would have cared
that someone being you
misery towers of me
the same way you did
when you told me you'd protect me forever
and keep me safe when i was scared in the dark
then i realized
i was locked in my room
the same way i was locked in by the fears of my childhood
only this time
I'm the puppy
you left me lost
just like the puppy when i was 4
this time
you're the blanket
and you're ripped
leaving me unprotected
just like the blanket when i was 5
its my 17th birthday now
and here i am waiting
waiting for everything to be fixed
just like my 7th birthday
only this time
i was left broken
just like the broken toy when i was 6
because you didn't care enough to fix me

there's something about the way
the moon and the stars
shine into the ocean at night
a sea of eternity
swaying on forever
maybe that's the reason
I believe you
as  i look into your twinkling eyes
as you promise me forever
lost in your touch
the fire in your fingertips
burning on through the night
bringing on another day
another day of our forever
your breath lingers
like fog
after a cold night
i feel you keeping me warm
like fire you are
in the cold night
then it  wakes me
and remember that even the sea
reaches the shore
and even forever comes to an end

thank you
the ghost of my past
for yet another nightmare

i hate storms
the calm before the rain
giving a sense that everything will be okay
then in a matter of minutes
the clear sky turned into a whirlwind
the thunder bangs
on the windows of empty houses
and the lightening strikes
blinding everything in sight
leaving people trapped
stuck in their houses
afraid to come outside
afraid to face anything that could harm them

but i haven't always hated storms
and maybe i don't hate them now
maybe i just hate you
for proving
that not everything would end up okay
for making me feel empty
like the windows on an empty house
and for blinding me with love
maybe i hate you
because of the day when harm knocked on my door
as you stormed into my house
and made me realize we would never be okay

maybe thats why i hate storms