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I tried.
I tried to forget that summer
I tried to stop thinking about you
I tried to let it go
I tried to like other boys

I learned.
I learned other boys are cruel
I learned other boys are rough
I learned other boys are to much
I learned other boys are controlling

I question.
I question why you don't call me out on these
I question why you don't realize these are about you
I question why you don't just ******* talk to me
I question why you don't give this a shot

I sigh.

Because I know I will forever be a silly little girl who likes the shadow of a boy who will never come back for me though I've grown and changed and still feel a flame in the pit of my stomach every time I see anything with your name pop onto my screen
Forgotten and forgetting
Sometimes I let the wrong people kiss me. And sometimes I let them unbutton my pants. Sometimes I walk in to math class late with out a care in the world. And sometimes I walk for hours until my feet start to blister up and and I can feel the blood rushing underneath my skin rising to the surface. But that doesn't matter. Because sometimes I sit in the rain and cry. And I sleep all day and sometimes I stay up all night.

Sometimes I listen to my music way to loud. I can hear my ear drums crying for help. Sometimes I drink so much alcohol I can feel it intertwining with my veins mixing it's own concoction of blood. Sometimes I get so drunk so I can call you but I still never have enough courage to.

Sometimes I cry while I read books. Sometimes I cry while I watch movies. Sometimes I pretend not to care even though that's all I can do. Sometimes I like to dress up and think I'm a little girl again, because I grew up way to fast. Sometimes I hold myself at night because your not here to do it, but I'm starting to realize that it will never happen again.

Sometimes I hate being a girl.

Sometimes I like to think I'm dead when I alive
 May 2014 DarkDepriment
Natalie L
Be yourself
they say
but make sure
it's what's accepted
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