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 Apr 2014 DarkDepriment
M
married to Christ
is a lot happier
than 'lonely'
and 'broken'
because unlike a marriage to a human
if I mess up,
my husband forgives me endlessly
and loves and understands me perfectly
"Men can't read your mind"
mine does.
My savior loves me more than I could possibly imagine
and He will never leave me.
With Him, I can always be happy-
and I will always be happy
as I strive to be faithful
to my one and only.
I am not worthy of Him in any sense of the word
but He thinks I am worthy of His love
and that's all that matters now.
I am imperfect and I felt kind of unfulfilled and unsatisfied
but it was because I was looking for God
everywhere except God Himself
and I was searching for someone to love me
and understand me
no human relationships can feel like this
and I'm lucky
because I will never be separated from
my God
this isn't a long-distance relationship-
He is around me in every molecule
every blade of grass
every cloud
every cat or dog
He is there.
I will not be lonely
unless I myself leave Him.
but He is faithful
and He calls for me every day I am gone
He cries for me day and night
and never gives up
until I return, one day,
to His open arms
that embrace me
like a human never could.
I will never be lonely again.
My God is more than enough-
He is the source of everything-
an ever-flowing river of mercy,
grace, hope, love, passion, joy...
what else could I ask for?
"Christ is yours today, and he is yours tomorrow as He dies again and again for you on the cross."

I feel pure again. I'm on the path back to who I'm supposed to be.
 Apr 2014 DarkDepriment
M
my church
 Apr 2014 DarkDepriment
M
make fun of my church all you want
you can say it preaches hate
but please,
all the saints and fathers and doctors
have never taught anything but love
and forgiveness
I have never been taught anything that says
"judge thy neighbor"
or "cast the first stone"
so for you to say
you don't like what the catholic church teaches
what, exactly, don't you agree with?
"help the poor, clothe the naked, comfort widows"
"love thy neighbor as yourself"
"spread your joy and your light"
"be willing to give your life for your friends"
honestly. what are you talking about?
the catholic church is not a business
it is not corrupted,
you sound like the erudite who believed
the purely selfless were corrupt
because that's a lie.
the holiest, kindest, most gracious people
run this church
and our doors are always open
we feed the hungry, shelter the homeless
the we have our arms ready to embrace anyone who needs it
and we find pure happiness in everything we do
What more do you want?
What is our religion doing wrong?
I won't accept 'the slaughter of thousands of people' because the invasion of the native american peoples was a gross power move that was associated with a misunderstanding of religion and orders from blasphemous authorities. the crusades were so long ago and you haven't been personally affected, so don't pull that one. and the spanish inquisition was wrong and the Church condemns that. also, homosexuality is condemned because we believe it is sexually impure and leads us away from God. but, as Theresa of Avila says, be gentle with others and stern with yourself. No Catholic who is truly close to God has ****** or judged or oppressed or been violent towards someone for any reason- and if they have, they have since been forgiven. God does not condone hate. God is the source of all unity and love in the universe- and if you worship a God that does not do that, or you believe God does not do that, you are grossly misinterpreting what it is that we are. The whole universe is good. all the things we perceive to be negative are just there to build our character. those 'bad' things are good because they are true and they changed things and it will all work out in the end. life is beautiful, God is love. and that is what my church teaches- that no matter what anyone does to you, no matter if they sin themselves or they hurt you, you should not hurt them or seek revenge: always love, always forgive, always be patient, no matter what. do not feed the vicious cycle- be an instrument of peace. let light shine through you and sow love wherever you walk.
How many times?
Does the girl you love?
Ask to see?
What you do when?
You forget she?
Exists?
And what kind?
Of look does she?
Give to your demons?
When she faces?
Them and sees?
What they have?
Done to you?

Oh, wait?
What do you mean?
She hasn't seen?
Them yet?
 Apr 2014 DarkDepriment
Keith May
when you’re with that girl
or any girl really
and she’s sitting on top of you
or kneeling just below
and she’s in the middle of some routine
some ritual
and you wonder if she’s trying something new
or if this has proven successful in the past
the result of numerous carefully considered scientific studies
she breaks
bends
and lies still
breathless
as if she’s forgotten her lines
 Apr 2014 DarkDepriment
Liv
i don't have any more love left to give you
i'm drained of salvation
i'm losing myself
or i'm losing my mind
i'm running on empty
and i don't feel like running anymore
i know you need me to be the strong one
i'm trying so hard
but i'm shaking at the hinges
and i don't know how much longer
i can run away from
a loveless heart and a thoughtless mind
 Apr 2014 DarkDepriment
Et cetera
I stop to think a while
And then I realize…
Running away never helps
We humans, we
Like to complicate everything
If something disturbs me
I should just admit it
And deal with it
Accordingly

So I went back to sleep
I dreamt again
I dreamt of the past, the present, and future
I dreamt of monsters, dead and alive
I dreamt of birds, and kites and hives
I dreamt of people
Ones I knew and know
And even those I have yet to meet

I dreamt of dreams and reality
I dreamt, and dreamt
Peacefully
I knew now that
It was okay to dream
It was okay to feel
It was okay to want
It was okay to be

I learned to stop
Stop being so harsh
On my own self
I learned to accept
Finally
My own reality
And that it was okay to just be
The way I am…
Written on 28th October 2013.
and she had
eyes like ghosts
invisible and
haunting with 
their past lives
and last loves

pale white
wrists with
bones and
veins protruding 
like the
lined drips of
a cemetery candle

her heartbeat
was an 
eerie melody 
filling my 
nightmares

yet I feared 
the day that
this symphony
would stop

that your 
skeleton whispers
would no longer
graze my
shivering cold
heart

and that 
the frightening
things you do
would halt
and be replaced
by an even
eerier silence

right now
I fear you
but when I
think of
losing you
and never
seeing you
again
I wonder

what am I
so scared of?
 Apr 2014 DarkDepriment
Rachel
I feel him through my bones like the way the whiskey made me feel okay again

slowly, then all at once.


I could see his hands on the ******* of another woman and his eyes wanting her like the way I cried and yelled his name alone on my bed

passionately, and undiluted


I saw his face smiling at my stories and jokes like the way the words "I love you" fell out of his mouth

forced, and heartbreakingly austere


I stopped crying over him like the way I finished the painting on my easel

I never did.
I Am Lost.
I hurt all over again.
Because I cannot forgive.
I try, but I still resent those who stubbed me straight through the heart.
My Family.
My ex Lovers.
My Community.
I want to let it all go.

This is a prayer of my hurting, breaking and bleeding heart.
Help me.
Help me LET GO
Of all that cause my tears to soak my pillow most days.
Help me.
Teach Me.
To forgive.
To let go.
To Heal.

I need You.
I can't do asylums no MORE.
I Don't want to cut anymore.
Help Me Jesus.
I know you are out, up there somewhere.
Help  me.
Please.

©The Unspoken
This is a prayer, a cry from deep within me.
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