Dreams filled with knights in shining armour
Her cheeks flushed, she lets out a soft groan
As she realizes she's woken up alone

A princess roaming aimlessly
Her wings broken and tattered
Can you see my strength even though I am weak
She wants to be special and unique

She stretches,  everything hurts
Loneliness causing such intense pain
That nothing seems to be the same but his old shirt

All around her the walls are white
This being her twelfth night
How many more must she endure
Or is this just a slight detour

Watching the stars knowing that they will answer her plea
16 more days and she will be set free
 A life without wings, princess and kings

All I want for Christmas is

YOU



I miss you

I lay in bed
My heart as heavy as lead
Breathe , in and out
Tomorrow will come, there is no doubt

Brokenness, soulfulness, woefulness

Today, the sun has risen
Such a contradiction
Darkness  surrounding
Leaving the story unwritten

Ferociousness, outspokeness, emotionless

Yesterday, looking for a do over
Constantly looking over ones shoulder
Trying to remember
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Babe please don't cry
I hate to have to say good bye
This was not the plan
We were to only play not stay

Now is not our time
I am not yours and you are not mine
Two souls like ours are destined to withstand the wars
Our time will come and we will open the doors

You are my breath, my light
Nothing is black and white
I will forever know you
Now you are gone and I have to stay
Go out, get laid, pretending not to be afraid

To see you again, feel your breath on my neck
Your lips caressing the inside of my thigh
Wrapped in your arms at sunrise
To look into those dazzling blue eyes

I've been around and  I've seen it all
Next we will meet at the popcorn ball
Please babe do not cry
I promise this is not our last goodbye

Sleep eludes this tortured soul
Words, phrases and faces
Everything taking its toll

What if I never left Montreal?
Would this be in French
What if I married the first man who asked?                            
Would I have children or grandchildren
What if I went to university when I originally planned?
Would I have a different career
What if I had said no?                      
Would I have remained pure              
What if I had been born first?
Would I be loved more
What if I had been born a man?
Would I be more successful
What if I'd never been born?

The day has arrived.
The cold wind whistle, the land is bare and everything feels contrived.
A girl broken, fragile as a leaf in fall.
Damaged but promised.

Borded and no place to go.
Lonely, defeated and feeling so low.
The clouds are telling  a similar story.
Laying out a laundry list of woes.

The air is rich and fragrant.
A crooked little smile on her face.
She can't help herself as the sun fills her with grace.

Venturing out for the first time.
Load music, beautiful people everywhere.
Surrounded by all her partners in crime.
Spinning, dancing with laughter completely unaware.

He's at least 10 years younger.
An unusual flutter.
So beautiful, so strong and hard
He wants her but her bodyguards say no.

But she follows her heart.
Anticipation almost parelizing.
That first touch neutralizing.
Fast and furious, slow passionate.
Completely off the charts.

Behind doors and on roof tops.
Everywhere anytime, non stop.
Her innocent excitement increases.
A new cocktail of chemicals releases.
Lust, sweet delectable lust.
So happy and content

New attitude, a new her

Forever remembered

She thought this would be easy
Fun to be sure
Exciting and dangerous
Naturally of course

The *** was amazing
At all times of the day
In backseats and parking lots
Oh what a treat

Time moved forward
And things got close
Feelings came into play
And everything changed

Thoughts of running away
Uruguay sounded cool
Fantasy would be fulfilled

Reality hit hard
Decisions where made
Sadness and emptyness
The new flavour of the day

A taste she's remembers well

Want to be extrodinary
               Not ordinary
Want to be the one with the brain
           Not some plain Jane
Wrap me up and tie me down
Last seen fleeing in a wedding gown
          Confused, where to go
Break the string to the puppet show
Want to be me
                  Not one of three
Want to dance
            Not be dismissed at first glance
Break free and run wild
Dare to break the rules
              Play pool and be a fool
Continental shelf in of oneself,  remember yourself

The silence is deafening
Hours go by with no reply  
Trembling  
Then a big surprise
Time to say goodbye          
Outside all calm and collective          
Inside, I must confess, depressed    
I had fallen hard and fast  
Should have known it wouldn't last
No defense against a breach of trust                         
But one must learn to adjust          
In time there will be no regrets
But for now no more duets
Then at some point it will be released as cosmic dust

Look  I miss you a ton
Although it seems like we just begun
This affair will be my undone

It's not just the ***,  which is on a level all its own
Makes me feel like I'm King on a throne

But I miss the 'you get me' part even more

The thing is I ain't strong enough or whatever to handle the deception .
Eventually we'll have  to deal with the pain of rejection

We are playing with nuclear bombs with the potential to destabilize a lot of lives
I don't think I'd survive

The guilt is eating me alive

We all write about loneliness
And we all can empathize
But it is as unique to each of us as is a snowflake

It causes us all to ache
From a place in our soul that doesn't recognize the light of day
We wrap it up and keep it safe as our personal dossier

Colorless skies and lack luster eyes
We all seek the spectacular
Shooting stars, full moons and the first taste of champagne

We have been there, done that but don't seem to be able to hang on
We all want the same thing
To Love, to be loved and most of all to belong

Loneliness is such a complex experience
Existing even when surrounded by brilliance
Regardless if you are in a marriage, relationships, families and successful career.

At the end of the day,  it's a social and physical pain we all seem to be able to endure

Babe it's been a long day
Let's say we go straight to bed
Where we can lose ourselves in each other
Where I can lay my hand on your heart to re energize my soul
Where we can gaze out the bedroom window,  watching the stars sing their twinkling lullaby
Where frozen licorice  and pizza is the meal of the day
Where we can listen to Radiolab weave stories and science into sound
Where we can hear all about the Galapolas and feel like we are there.
Where sleep will eventual takes us to another day

Love should feel like you're floating on a cloud of blue
Or is that just a bunch of Hullabaloo
We are brain washed to believe
Is it worth the time to be pursued

Cinderella, sleeping beauty and all the gang
Who's the fairest in the land
Us girls learned it first hand
Sitting on the laps of our grande dames

Fantasy was taught to be real
Illusion turns out to be a raw  deal
We are a new breed
Applauded and encouraged to succeed
Put away those fairy tales
And say hello to the 21st  century female

A child is born and we rejoice        
Happy there was a choice.
A new mother quickly forgets the pain of birth
As all great things in life come from our earth.
The child grows and the changes become apparent                  
Transparent to all but the parents.    
How did they not see their jewel, the star in their eyes, was different from all the other little guys
Their angel was the devil in disguise.
No hope of winning a Nobel Prize, they decide to baptize.
Dressed in white  surrounded by friends
They celebrate the rebirth of the end.

A baby cries with pain
Left alone with no one to provide comfort
Nowhere to turn without hearing the  screams of anguish
The heat from the explosions choking
Fighting in the name of God and religion
This is not what I had planned
How could things have gone so far off track
Men women children
The scene scorching horrific images to the minds memory
What needs to be done to right the wrongs
Return the balance of nature to its true form
Do I start over or continue to watch and cry
No one truly believes,  I hardly believe
The ashes cool leaving a warm haze.
The survivors desberately seeking for everything but praying for anything
The  child is heard
****** hands reach into the chaos and
lift the child from the debris
The air goes still as all stare in awe
Smiles spread across their faces
Memories of devistation already starting to fade
The process of rebirth has begun

tree's
          the roots  of our  heart
crickets and bee's
        the rythmic  stridulations of Mozart
Nature
             our  own  lullaby

She feels such an ache that it takes every ounce in her to breathe.  
The ground opening up  for her from beneath.

Questioning the reason for her existence. How am I impacting the world around me?
What do I do that makes a difference?

She catches a glimpse of herself in a store window.
Seeing a girl, a woman, a wife, a mother
Is this what I'm meant to be?  
But who am I to disagree.

Realizing that she,  being herself, is a true hero.      
  
The ground closes, a bounce returns to her step as she continues her journey
Knowing that she and only she can decide her fate without having to be carried out on a gurney      
                
We are all beautiful in our own freakness Learn to revel in our uniqueness.

Please say something but do not mock
So many questions but they can't be right
I've lost the key,  and now I'm locked

Feeling so small I can barely crawl
Nobody notices the broken doll
Discarded like yesterday's news
Beleive me I feel every bruise

The deal was no strings
But never believed it would become a boxing ring
Verbal jabs and mental stabs
Ending with evidence in a lab

For now, I say, goodbye
I promise I won't cry
Although I now know it was all a lie

Tomorrow will be a new day
And memories will fade away

she lays her head down to sleep
                 wincing in pain
      from the bruise on her cheek
              what is she to do
           constant looks of pity
                    sadness
                  even anger
   worse than saying she had cancer
        how much can she endure
             she made a promise
             never to be broken
               unconditional love
           so many questions
                so many lies
   how do you betray your blood
            a part of your body
                  your soul
                 your child
          an angel in your eyes
          the devil in disguise
             uncontrollable
                  violent
   no longer can she keep silent

His love for him was like friendship on fire
It pulsed through his veins
Balancing him on a high wire

Pink and blue
Wearing the wrong hue
Religion and politics state their case
Leaving the world in disgrace

Black or white
Who can say what is wrong and what is right

To be so lucky to find your mate
Who cares if you got to the party late

He suspected he was unique
Maybe even a bit of a freak
The colors of music
From the old jukebox in the den
His only friend
Morning, noon and night
Recite, recite, recite