The moon curves
As do my lips
In this satisfaction
You can’t give or take away

It’s the richness of the music in my ears
The brightness of the light in my eyes
Nothing to do with you
And everything to do with me

I'll pick the one who makes me laugh
Who cooks me food
Who anticipates my feelings
And does his best to make it better

The one who has a life
Who doesn't need me
But really wants me
And knows I want him

The one who is
A total punk
Like me, but not like me
At the same time

Intelligence that spills over
Into every aspect of his life
Confidence, joy
And love he needs to give away

Most importantly,
The one who sees want he wants,
Reaches out,
And grabs it

(Like me)

I've met so many people
In my life already.
Most I have forgotten,
Lost even their names.

Others are silhouettes,
With the moving outlines
Of their bodies revealing
Most of what I need to know.

A few huddle under the
Lamplight with me,
Crowding each other out,
The closer ones there by chance.

I know these people well
But they're the kind that
Will scatter to the next light
As their attention or agenda wavers.

One or two are less ephemeral,
Yet seeing one side of each,
I know the others must be
Always in shadow.

Ultimately the light
Shines only on me
But I wonder if it's
Simply by choice.

I am the same way
With others, leading
Them along and yet not
Letting them in.

I am comfortable here
For these aren't the only
People with whom
I've shared light.

There're others whose lights
Burn in different colors
And spray sparks, drawing
My attention again.

I cling to my lamppost
Lean out into the dark
For a view of those gliding
Rapidly into the distance.

I still sigh at the beautiful lights
Months after I left your halo
Of movement and words and thoughts
And the beauty of your fierce intelligence.

All the bright flames
In my memory
No longer satisfy.

I burn and ache
With the feeling
That those probably weren't real.

I doubt I can find someone
Whole enough to match me.

I want intellect
I want grace
I want beauty
I want sensitivity
But most of all
I want a love that's real.

The absence of you is more painful
Than anyone's absence
Because in truth
You don't exist yet.

I gasp and sob
And wish you'd just appear
And help me focus on something
Other than my loneliness.

When speaking
Feels as free as
Dancing
Running
Screaming
I know that I've been quiet
For far too long.

That moment when you realize
you've gotten rid of everyone
who makes you unhappy
except yourself...
...Crap. What happens now?
Hahaha.

Sitting here in the sand
I know no matter how many times I've been here before
This is where I want to be when my life ends
The way I sit facing the water
I can't turn away
Cause I'm watching the ocean
I'm waiting for when it decides to swallow me.
And I'm inclined to let it
'Cause I know it's going to bring peace to me.
The sand, my favorite kind of messy
The water, just the right kind of salty
Makes my hair all tangled and my skin all scratchy
But I've never known a better kind of love.
I know I belong with you in the summer.
My thoughts are with you when it's cold.
I love my bittersweet insignificance and innocence
When I know I'm only here 'cause of you.

I do think of you sometimes.

Sometimes I even wear the earrings you gave me.

I guess I just wanted you to know you are not forgotten.