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  Nov 2014 Alina
holyoak
i didn't want to turn you into a poem
i didn't want you to be my muse
you've ruined my mind and my pen
you've made me blind to inspiration
i can't hold the pages still anymore
i can't understand my own writing 
your hair isn't a waterfall 
your eyes aren't deep oceans 
i'm not held here by your gravity
i'm not sure that your voice is music
you won't own me
i won't turn you into poetry

[holyoak]
  Oct 2014 Alina
Just Melz
The beauty I saw in your eyes,  
         Peering into your soul.
It's depths astounded me,
     your poetry amazed me,
Another half to broken pieces made whole.
Yet the pain I saw eluded me,
          it baffled me
   how you could be that sad...
I remember this dream I had,
Where you were in complete despair,
     crying in a corner,
             Tears blood red
I can't remember exactly what you said,
     but it crushed me.
           The next day,
while you were smiling and joking around,
I tried to glimpse deep in your eyes,
          what I found?
Stunned me to tears, after all these years,
          how could I not see?
I think you were about to ask me what was wrong,
            But you realized I discovered what you'd been hiding all along.
I didn't know what to say,
          or how to speak...
Then I saw a grin start to form in the dimple on your cheek.
         You'd fooled me, arrogantly tricked me,
You pulled up your sleeve and grabbed a knife,
              Started slicing away just to torture me,
          Slowly ending my life.
Alina Oct 2014
There's this nauseous, nagging, pit
In the middle of my gut
And oh I bet you know why
You said you'd be there
But now you've gone
And walked away
Am I overreacting or not
Because I swore it was you
You'd be the one always there
Maybe I was wrong
But now I'm sitting here
With my pajamas on
Asking for your help
And none ever comes
I'm just feeling really weird tonight and I needed help but of course I was wrong about you. And now I have no one. Unless I'm mistaken. I don't know. Just please talk to me.
Alina Oct 2014
there are dreams that you grab
and drag behind you
leash pulled tight
apparently i am supposed to believe
these will all be fullfilled
but how can i know
people tend to ignore the threatening undertones
because the majority of my dreams
are nightmares
Stealing a theme from lyrics I'm working on and turning them into a not very poetic poem
  Oct 2014 Alina
Carla Boulos
Listen to my heart whimpering
As I write to you from its broken melodies
The only memory I have from you.
Songs that lack rythm in your absence
Can't seem to embody my current expressions
As nakedness revolts through my reality
And reminds me of all those scars
That paints my body with dead colors of autumn.

Listen, to the song repeating itself in my head
Like the abandoned vinyl still playing
After a suicide
Yes, suicide.
A suicide that our love has committed
In the land of hopes and dreams
Where the music never spoke again
But remained as a beautiful memory
That completes the painting.
Alina Oct 2014
It wasn't all that long ago
You said you'd never leave me
I keep asking myself why
Why I believed you
Why you changed your mind
Why you lied

It wasn't that long ago
You promised you would help me
Now I am suffering alone
Suicidal thoughts, all alone
Gashes on my leg, all alone
2 am tears, all alone

It wasn't that long ago
You were the one person I trusted
Now I don't know the word
I don't know why my friends are
I don't know what to believe in
I don't know what trust really means

It wasn't that long ago
We had a deep connection
Now only shallow words are spoken
I want to know you'll be there for me
I want to feel that love again

I want my sister back.
  Oct 2014 Alina
Gavin Barnard
I'm just a wannabe terrorist.
I wanna fight with my knife.
Not for fun, not for someone.
But for change and my freedom.

They've taken the one thing
That keeps my sanity.
They've taken my happy place.
They've taken my self-discovered prison.

The only place where I worked.
Where I obeyed. You cannot
Expect to take the best thing away
From a good kid and not have issues.

Without my music, my prison,
My savior, my laughter,
I cannot and will not work.
Even if I'll be bruised, black and blue.

I want it back! Is that too much to ask?!
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