Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Kenzie Aug 2014
I used
At the ends
Of questions
I didn't feel comfortable
Leaving them
Open ended
Kenzie Jul 2014
I tried to **** my sadness

tried to asphyxiate
mental health

But amidst killing feelings  
I ended up killing myself
Kenzie Aug 2014
I learned that where
butterflies lingered
so did bees
and every opportunity
there is to see beauty
is also an opportunity
to be hurt.
Kenzie Jul 2014
I just find it incredibly terrifying
That this blanket
Of cold souls and sadness
Feels so warm
Covering my skin
Like it is a blanket
That smells like home
Like I have missed it's presence
Like it makes me denser
Like it makes me real
this sadness is defining me
Kenzie Aug 2014
She gives you words
Of poisoned wine
But still reminds you
To not burn your hands

She uses a blade
Of deceit and curdled anger
But still folds your

She hangs a noose
Around your mind
But still tells you
To make good choices

She kills your words
Before they are spoken
But still tends to you  
When you are ill

She breathes venom
Against every corner of your mind
But still holds you
Like she loves you
Kenzie Aug 2014
I pretended that he watched her
Like as if to observe
The golden tips
From butterfly wings

I pretended that he touched her
So he could signal
Her nerve endings to stop shaking

I pretended that he kissed her
As if they were a place to worship
That his body was all he had
To offer

I pretended that he brought her
So that she couldn't feel
The steel pillars in her soul

I pretended that he loved her
But instead
He just sipped his tea
And folded
Arms across the table
Kenzie Aug 2014
I have fallen in love
With an disease

The way it brings me warmth
As it burns my skin

The way it leave me speechless
As it makes my words a sin  

The way it fills my veins
As it makes them feel hollow

The way it fills my heart
As it kills it will sorrow

The way it keeps me numb
As it slowly kills me

The way depression empties me
But somehow fulfills me
Kenzie Jul 2014
i have stopped
into empty rooms
it is  
the same as
into full rooms
of people who
have said they were listening
Kenzie Aug 2014
I never saw it coming
When I didn't believe in pain
I never saw it coming
Because it hide behind my brain

I never saw it coming
When I practiced smiles in my mirror
I never saw it coming
When I felt inferior  

I never saw it coming
When I forgot to have friends
I never saw it coming
When I liked to think about ends

I never saw it coming
When I was self irritated  
I never saw it coming
When I self medicated

I never saw it coming
When I couldn't drown the lie
I never saw it coming
When I begged myself to die

I never saw it coming
Because I lied for a long time

I always saw it coming
I just really tried to hide
Kenzie Jul 2014
this house is incredibly loud
for such a quiet porch

i doubt you'll see lilacs this year
or even plants at all

i stopped trimming the bushes
and stopping the branches from falling

because perhaps this house of cards
has worn too very thin.
Kenzie Jul 2014
keep shouting
into this
empty void
when you hear
the echoes
it will feel
Kenzie Aug 2014
that's the thing about a murderer
they become so broken and haunted
that even their own hand
seems sinisterly daunted

but it's kind of humane
what their mind will have done
it has broken a reality
it refuses to let them run

they will only see
the life that they took
every single eye
is their victims look

and in a way they are new
nerves exposed to the earth
for a search for calm
their being is rebirthed

and isn't it insane
that a person is made new
when they **** another
without leaving any clue.
inspired by a recent reading of Therese Raquin
Kenzie Jul 2014
breathing itself
having to fill a cavity inside your chest with temporary oxygen
even this reminds you
that you're not whole.
Kenzie Jul 2014
my mind
is smarter than me
and if
that doesn't make sense
maybe your
Kenzie Feb 2015
If feelings left when people did
I wouldn't be worried about missing someone
that I didn't have
or holding someone
who can't be held
or touching someone
you cannot keep
or knowing things about someone
that you do not know
or laughing at someone
who will not stay
to finish the punchline
or loving someone
who will not stay
to let you know they feel the same
Kenzie Jul 2014
i wish i didn't have
a death wish
on my sleeve
where my heart should be
but im afraid my heart
is hollow
or dead

i wish i didn't have scars
that are meant to be
my veins
but im afraid my bruises
are marks of acid rains

i wish my body loved me
where my ribs
are meant to hug
my chest
but im afraid my lungs
don't do breathing when i request

i wish i didn't keep
my brain with
all these thoughts
i wish it would be empty
but im afraid
it's too loud
and often contemplating
Kenzie Aug 2014
I analyzed your typing pattern
The way you moved your
Index finger across the keyboard
And the way you type my name
Like it is precise but unimportant

I hope you see how my hands move
When I'm drawing on the walls
The way they say your name
Like they're begging Rome not to fall.

I anaylized the way you make your tea
And the way you stir three sugars
And regret
The way you hold the handle
Like my hands won't forget

I hope you see how I make the bed
How I tuck the sheets
Carefully on your side
The way I fix the pillows
Where we had once cried

I anaylized the way you speak
and with light
Hoping that a word you say
Won't induce another fight

I hope you see what we've become
This couple of medicocracy
Feelings of forgien beings
Of political democracy

I anaylized the way we
Tread with light feet
And heavy hearts
I know that soon
It all will fall
Your reign of Rome will end
but until then
I'll play an empress of pretend
Kenzie Jul 2014
I am drowning in rivers
That dried up centuries ago

The waters still betray me
Captivating my lungs
Like I am encased in sediment
That has taken over my skin

But what they don't know
Is that they have dried up
Ages ago

It as if they know my veins
Coursing through the rivers I cannot see
Taking hold of lies
That have never brushed my lips

But what they don't know
Is that they have dried up
Ages ago

I try and see it lightly
Like it is not a fear
Of dead desire

At least I know
They have dried up
Ages ago
Kenzie Aug 2014
I screamed
Because I wanted to make a point
She told me to be quiet
for screaming tended to disappoint

I yelled
Because I needed her to hear
She told me to be quiet
for yelling was for fear

I talked
Because I wanted to tell
She told me to be quiet
For talking was meant to sell

I whispered
Because I wanted to express
She told me to be quiet
Because whispering was for distress

I was quiet
Because I didn't want to share
She told me I should talk
For it seemed I didn't care
Kenzie Jul 2014
if your
are not heavy
to trigger
the passenger airbag
i will not
soften the blow
Kenzie Jul 2014
To be heard or to not be heard
I have often debated which is worse
Do you want your words to sink in?
To perhaps leave a lingered curse ?
Do you want them to be gone?
To leave no footsteps as they traverse?
I advise pick sides wisely
But maybe think this first
*What really
Are your words worth?

— The End —