can she not just go away....

i cannot tell who you are
by the swing of your step
and i cannot follow your heart
when no path is set.
but if you feel the strongest burst
to follow through
even when it hurts
you my dearest,
will be my hero
which can save me from this place;
your love can take me away..

i cannot tell who you are
by the swing of your step
and i cannot follow your heart
when no path is set.
but if you feel the strongest burst
to follow through
even when it hurts
you my dearest,
will be my hero
which can save me from this place;
your love can take me away..

you know this world is turned upside down and i can't seem to place my finger on the right place to land. its almost like everywhere that you are able to turn you are still facing me and no matter how many times i try to push it all away, it all comes back. yeah i guess you could say that in some shape or form im beyond crazy and that im out of my mind but if you were to ask me i dont think that i would agree at all. i feel like its more down the path of 'im confused about the happily ever after' part of the story. because face it; nothing ends with the perfect couple or this beautiful damsel in distress. haha.. no everything ends REAL and to all of the people that keep wishing upon shooting stars and waiting for 11:11 to come around you need to open your eyes, you aren't going to get anything out of a life that you are blind in; everything worth having is worth fighting for and that is the ONLY way that you are going to get it.

im absolutely fed up.

touch me,
hold my sides as you sway with the beat in the background,
take me and face your fears with me by your side,
show me that this is everything that you want,
turn to me and tell me how you feel,
kiss me in the pouring rain,
then sit there with me until we catch a cold,
take my hand in yours and never let it go,
make me your best feature,
so when we grow old we can look back and remember,
not the bad,
not the broken,
let us remember the nights where we could hear nothing but our breathing,
our silent screams and hushed whispers..

the world will not come to an end;
over all in its nature;
it will come to a sudden stand still;
when everything stops dead;
as what it is today..

just a month,
that's all it's been?
all that time,
i've spent with him.
at least six months;
a year at most.
cause in one month,
we've grown so close.
nine fourteen,
means more to me,
now that this is "we"

dance with me; until the leaves on the trees come loose.
swing with me; until the stars shift above us.
say you love me; until you run out of breath to speak.
take my hand; and never let go of me.

How must the words entangle around my tongue,
                                      To prove these words have meanings,
One word has more than one.
                                                                                        You tell me that you're sorry,
                                                                                                                     But i can tell you're wrong,
                                                                          You left my cold and lonely,
You knew it all along..

And the grace in your eyes,
and the swing in your step,
and you walk down the isle,
love holding your very hand..
you look back and cry,
at the times that passed bye,
and how you felt was undeniable..
you were young,
and dumb,
and all but in love,
but you thought it was the real thing.
With fortune and trust,
a future of lust,
you could not walk away....
you looked in her eyes,
and spoke a sweet melody,
it's heart ache and pain to get through.

i hate to see that one girl,
fall completely in love with that one boy,
just to find out,
he only loves her,
for all the wrong reasons.
so take this to heart....
and remember the next time that you see that boy....
tell him that you have nothing left.
tell him that you loved him for who he was,
and it would be perfect if he had too....
tell him then you know it's crazy..
but you found someone new.

the cool breeze in the hot air,
the fallen leaves on the green grass,
kids in the yard and joyful,
happy?
disapointed?
sad?
confused?
yeah I know the feeling,
you're all alone in a world of 18 million people,
but not even one wants a thing to do with you.... </3

and i know now im falling,
even harder than before,
its like a shock of lust,
more than i asked for.

can you feel what i am feeling,
do you see it on my face,
the words that your speaking,
fit perfectly in place.

dance with me till sun down,
take me by the hand,
lead me to fortress,
until we cannot stand.

i'd walk with you for miles,
days or even weeks,
months are all i ask for,
in your arms i shall sleep.

im trapped in this state of mind,
a state that i can not feel the way i wish,
there is only one true person to tell us who to be,
that person is not you,
and is not me....
that person is sacred,
found only in your head,
now dont hold back,
dont waste time,
join my sacred state of mind <3

a simple moment,
that's all it takes..
to shed a tear,
and feel the pain it makes.

now try to tell me that every one of my poems mean noting....
now kick me while im down..
trash me,
brake me.

see how long it takes to say im sorry..
or it's not my fault,
because that day will never come,
you just weren't the one.

your big brown eyes in the autumn light,
everything you said always felt so right,
a broken heart on the edge of your sleeve,
everytime you said i'll never leave,
a secret love,
you had with her,
you even knew that i was hurt,
you called her name down the hall,
my mind went blank,
you saw me fall,
you called her rock,
and she called you back,
my heart was fragile,
put under attack,
you held my hand,
but thought of her,
i found my breathe,
and spoke in your ear,
something you thought,
that you would never hear..
i kissed your cheek and led you stray,
told you not to find your way,
you dropped my heart,
and soon to be,
you broke my heart,
at the age 13..

i cant even think straight anymore?
this is the first time im writing with out you to write back.
but why would you care?
you didnt want to write back in the first place?
why would i care about what you thought when i clicked the publish button?
electricity ran through my heart waiting for you to comment.
yeah; **** it.... i dont want to write poems any more.
because of you.

just go away....):

do they know what my mind consumes and chants when all civilization is hushed and I am lerking these halls like a snake, slithering from room to room, tile to tile. do they know what my days are without my grandfather? I long for his touch, I'm starved of his love, his luring hugs and ensuring promises.... do they know that I'm desperate for that one last promise to become real not just false hope. do they realize that my dreams are filled with his brave, strong, superior face? or do they know that I have written so many sad, pathetic notes to him that I can't come to tell myself will never get to him, never to be seen by his eyes, heard by his ears, touched by his hands, engraved in his mind....

no, they don't because if they even took a second to take a walk in my shoes, hand in hand with the troubles that I face, they wouldn't try to tell me who I am, they wouldn't try to say that I'm the bad guy, no.. they would understand why I don't want to make friends with my enemies.... they wouldn't judge me, no, they would only be able to spit two simple words that have never been said **I'm sorry

i hate you.

i can be the sun when you need the warmth,
i can be the breeze when you need fresh air,
i can be the moonlight when youre walking all alone,
i can be the lyrics to your favorite song.

i can be whatever you tell me to..

but if you want me to be somebody else,
then i would change<3

Closer till i feel your breath on my neck
Closer sending chills down my spine
I entangled my fingers where they had fit in between yours.
even better than it was before.
I curled up against you,
until my head was on your chest,
just under your chin.
you wrapped your strong welcoming arms around my waist,
until you could feel my even slightest breath.
you kiss my neck, and go down.. further.. further
our bodies intertwine..
this would be a night to remember....
we're jumbled up in these strong *** feelings....
maybe it's another way to heal,
or maybe this is how we feel <3

want me,
no....
crave me

don't bother trying to control the feeling
that desire,
that need,
don't try to cover it up or hide it behind something else.

i see right through it all.

Dear "friend",

      you see my pain from when you left,
you never gave me a reason.. or a goodbye.
I have yet to over come my feelings, my hurt,
but most of all, I have yet to over come you.
It's like when I see you, my heart stops,
just by the thought of what was once there.
You had me wrapped around your little finger,
but for some reason you didn't want me there.
I'm not sure what I did wrong....
I'm not sure if you really know how I felt about you,
your family, your smile, your laugh....you....
while I sit here I regret not asking you.
But it's far to late to ask for a reason why you left,
and it is far to late to ask you to care.
But Dear "Friend", please just know;
I wish you were there.

in to the deep, dark, despair that i know as my mind,
im afraid, let alone the fact that i have nothing,
no family, friends, loved ones....
i have nothing to take in to mind after a long day of wondering and hoping,
working and thinking....
about where i ever went wrong....
will i ever find my answer or will my fears just grow deeper? ....

I can no longer breathe without the regrets of pushing you away....
my eyes cloud up as my mind reveals our finest memories,
the little time that I had you to call mine.
I failed to inform you as much as I sought out to..
that you are the very thing that keeps me striving to move forward.
you are the very blood in my veins keeping me alive and breathing....
but I could not tell you this.
I could not let you know the things that I held inside,
in fear of rejection.
in fear that the words I longed to speak would push you further than the actions
I had revealed to be me....
I gave you my breath,
and you let it go....
but I forgive you for it all, for you had no intensions of hurting me..
did you?

I can no longer breathe without the regrets of pushing you away....
my eyes cloud up as my mind reveals our finest memories,
the little time that I had you to call mine.
I failed to inform you as much as I sought out to..
that you are the very thing that keeps me striving to move forward.
you are the very blood in my veins keeping me alive and breathing....
but I could not tell you this.
I could not let you know the things that I held inside,
in fear of rejection.
in fear that the words I longed to speak would push you further than the actions
I had revealed to be me....
I gave you my breath,
and you let it go....
but I forgive you for it all, for you had no intensions of hurting me..
did you?

should it matter that you are so many miles away;
that i am here waiting for your return?
would you call me crazy if i told you;
every time i hear our song;
i pick up the phone to call and realize i can't.
does it really matter that you are there and i am here..
to me it does not.
love is not a judgement of distance,
love is waking up knowing that the person you are with today;
is who you really want to be with tomorrow.

for me? <3

taken
in
by
simple
lies
easy
lines
falling
down
im
on
the
ground
­gasping
for
a
single
breathe
take
me
in
and
keep
me
alive
.

im falling.
and slowly losing breath.
taking apart everything you ever said.
holding back my fears.
dealing with the pain.
caught in the world.
where everyone's insane.
clawing at the walls.
taring apart my finger tips.
feeling so much pain.
to live or to love.
to laugh with out the past.
to feel the way i wish.
with out a spell cast.

deeper and deeper i fall..
i see only him, avoiding all..
i love the way he kisses me,
they come so sweet and naturally..
he holds me tighter and tighter now,
as we dance upon these clouds..
stuck in our fancy dream,
together forever is how it seems.

for a split second, i thought that you would leave,
my voice became hushed, and my eyes were tearing up..
i looked at you and said, if this is what you want,
and you took me by the hand and said,
never in a million years, could i leave you here,
i fell in love with you, and thats what you shall hear..
never think im going to leave, or take you for granted. i love you with everything i have.. without you, i couldnt make it.. <3

Trust?
I have it.
Pain?
What about it.
Feelings?
they're there.
The boy?
wrapped around my finger.
Love?
Is ours for the taking <3

me tourner comme une or finement filée,
pivotant autour d'un oiseau aveugle.
dis-moi que tu m'aimes,
comme si c'était les seuls mots que tu savais.
essayez de ne pas se rappeler tout ce que j'ai vécu.
prends-moi dans, et ne laissez pas aller,
parce que je t'aime ..
c'est tout ce que je sais

I'm glad you're back,
The space you left while you were gone was cold,
I wasn't quite sure if you would talk to me,
But the choice you made was very bold,
I love to see you move along,
With terrible poems....
I miss being close, but its just a secret now,
I wish you knew all of this some how....
So be my secret friend again,
It's nights like these I've missed,
Nights like these that have no ends.

I don't even understand you anymore.... we used to be so sweet and lucky....
but we're broken; you fight and I hide....

Just save me already,
stop my misery, and take me to the place where you love and want me.

just ******* save me from this hurt.

i know i say that you are the worst thing to ever happen to me and that i wish to replace you;
but all i felt was friendship with you; when you kissed me.... you had no emotion;
when you held me close to you; i couldnt even feel you breathe....
i know that it doesnt matter now; but did i ever meant a single thing to you?
i lost you as the one i loved;
dont let me lose you as a friend....

thanks,
i love when,
i tell you one thing..
and the rumors over power
my voice.... congrats babe....
you got me?
so don't bother calling me..
i won't answer.
im going to bed....
to think this through,
cause after all....
i thought i could trust you. )':

hello heart,
       hello heart, how do you do. did you here i love you ?
have you fell out of my chest, have you taken my one last breathe?
well today you found this one little mind,
the one you want, for all of time.
a fragile kid, sense of soul.. ahaha, juuuust kidding.
you broke a while ago.. but the problem is, you are about to fall in love with a boy, so brace your self <3

-- the broken girl you live inside of [:
P.S.... don't give up _52511

i know that you can see me, because i clearly see you.
you think you are the best, but you're someone that i once knew.
you meant nothing then, and you mean nothing now,
so it's time to grow up and out of your foolish ways.
i know you're reading this, and thinking that I'm wrong,
but don't you remember when you cheated,
you even wrote that song.
you're a selfish pig, that should be put down.
because every girls you meet,
you say that you're in "love"

Now think again you're the age of 15,
you've been pushed away your whole life,
why would anybody want you now?
so you say I'm the one who deserves your ****?
well think again.
get over yourself cause I'm only saying this once,

"you're like a book, torn, tattered; sitting on a shelf where nobody wants to look."

ha, ring a bell? you told me that and I FOUND HELL.

so, and when you want to jump off that cliff, please save me a push, and jump yourself.

they have told me no more than once that youre not good,
and they dont know what i think they should,
ive liked you for long enough,
ik its hard and a little bit tough,
but thats how this works it a simple game,
and if you will youll have great fame,
the rules we will hold hands, hug, kiss, and snuggle..
the first one to fall in love loses.. <3

i began to smile as the very breath leaves my body.
my eyes role back.
my body goes numb.
i shake.. as you stand there with tear stained cheeks....
i cant tell what you feel..
or if youre even going to help me.
but im gone.. and i now realize where i stood with yoou.... /:

i've found a way to become who you wish i was;
take you down to a open feild,
release the doves.

i've found a way to become who you wish i could always be;
take you to my room,
as your body covers me.

i've found a way to make you mine;
hold you tight,
we'll be just fine.

The last time i've ever seen your eyes,
I flash back, and now I start to cry,
these feelings,
are falling,
this is our last trial,
and its starting with denial.
So take me down,
yeah drag me under..
they say that we're young,
but maybe we're just stronger....

Now flash back,
can you see my mother?
Your half ***,
and the stupid endeavor....
I hate this,
my head is spinning faster now,
I can't find,
one more reason,
to waste time,
for all of your treason..

waiting in the way that nobody ever thought to look,
falling in the dream chance that nobody ever took..

i dont know how clearly i can put this....
you bring the worst out of me,
fear
worry
hidding
....
love.

i feel so alone,
as if a single word changed us all..
as if i am this new reason,
that you wont catch me when i fall..
im taking second thoughts,
of love, is it lost?
i've fallen into this,
its easy yet so hard..

you knew me more than anything,
now i mean nothing,
im another girl that says
"i love you"
i thought it was true,
i fell for it again,
thinking that i could possibly meant more than three words
the only three words that broke me down,
made my heart skip one thousand beats,
told me that you cared for me..
but its all old news,
just like me,
you,
us.