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imtooawake May 2019
You are standing in front of her
not really knowing what to say.
She has cheated on you.
It shouldn't have happened to you.
You were giving her everything
expecting nothing at all.
But it was not enough.
And now she is standing in front of you.
And now the death is standing in front of you.
imtooawake May 2019
Don't get me wrong...
It's not terrible
It just makes me to question some situations
Whether should it be this way?
Whether should you accept this?

Yesterday I was furious and sad
So sad and so furious that
I cried myself to sleep.
I hoped when I woke up, it would be gone.

But it isn't. It is worse.
So much worse.

I can't stop thinking about it.
It's like a bathtub which is being filled by water.
You can't stop it until it's full.

The question is - what will I do when I will be full?
imtooawake May 2019
Another day when I feel so useless
So unwanted
So uninvited
That I can't breathe.
And The fact that I feel this way because of the person that I love
Hurts even more.
The one person who I want to be accepted by.
The one person who should love me no matter what.
And here I am feeling like a *******.

The moment when you realize that the one person you truly love is the reason for all of this, crashes your lungs.
Nothing can stop it.
The bathroom floor feels so nice.
It helps me to wonder what should be done.
Should I grab all of my stuff and leave?
Should I stay and fight more?
Will I be able to survive on my own?
I did it once.
I can do it again, right?
imtooawake May 2019
I never saw it coming
It hit me hard
Harder than I would have ever imagined
There was no way to escape
So I took this hit
Surprisingly, I stood there safe and sound
Maybe it was a coincidence
Maybe I was lucky
Whatever it was...it saved me
And now I am standing here
Still waiting for you to come back
And I will be standing here
Until you decide to come back
imtooawake May 2019
Love was too infectious
So I had to run
Far away
Run very far away
So I did
And then it happened
I was infected
imtooawake May 2019
I remember the first time when I saw him...
that was a crushing experience
I still remember that particular moment
when my world stopped. Nothing mattered.
I didn't care at all. I was just standing there
waiting for something that has never happened.
I had to wake up.
So I did.
Yes, I do remember that day.
Yes, I would like to forget.
imtooawake May 2019
I wonder...
where it will get us in the end
by it, I mean our love
When the day like this comes, I am unable to think straight
the worst case scenarios pop out everywhere
resembling flowers during Spring time or golden leaves when the Autumn strikes
they are everywhere
they work as a reminder for me... not to give my mind, body and soul
imtooawake May 2019
Somebody will finally save me
I don't really know who
But it will be somebody special

All my dreams are about somebody saving me
More colourful than ever before

And I fantasise about the dream to become a reality
But it has not been the time for it yet
imtooawake May 2019
the amount of tears that I have shed because of you today is countless
let's not do that again, okay?
imtooawake May 2019
The pain was inevitable.
So I took it,
I accepted it,
I immersed myself in it.
The pain was inevitable
Just like death.
There is no other choice
We have to embrace it.
I am not talking about the death part!
I am talking about pain.
Just don't hide it,
Don't be embarrassed.
These are your scars,
These are your choices.
Do not run from them!
Be proud of them.
imtooawake May 2019
I love you.
Three words
which change everything
For better or for worse
May give you wings or break your heart
Can make you smile or cry
Could be a way to the new life or quicker death
Connect or break people apart
Can be a reason for peace, more likely war
Said in a serious manner
                 but more often without seriousness
Be careful before you say them aloud
imtooawake May 2019
I  could never tell whether
it was good or bad
So I lingered to it
      till the very end
      till death separated us apart
That was the only solution
                       to break it down
imtooawake Nov 2019
Who do you think you are if you believe that you understand me
That you are able to predict my movements
That you can read my mind
That you feel what I feel
That you like what I like
That you hate what I hate
That my life circles around you
That your life is all about me?
Who do you think you are my friend?

— The End —