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unknown Jan 2016
we cant be.
we cant be
because i cant be
its just me
dont u know that every time we're together i get nervous
because....
because.
you see i can never really articulate what i feel about you
i feel like what we have isnt real
i can never be my real self when im with you
i guess its cuz i never feel enough
we will not be the greatest story
or that sappy romcom telenovela with better looking actors playing our lives
but we will be a great lesson
to those who have felt like they werent enough for that certain someone
because they've been rejected a couple of times
hold your chin up.
its hard i know
to feel like you will never be enough
im still trying myself
the climb is hard and im gonna fall a couple of times
but its okay
i let you ruin me
i let your words that stung my heart coarse through the veins of my body and ruin every part of my being
im a mess now
and whos the bigger blame?
is it you
or is it me
doesnt really matter because
we cant be.
we cant be
because i cant be
unknown Jan 2016
im giving up
im sorry but im giving up
not because i dont want to try
because i have and it worked for a while
but we just couldnt seem to hold on
you see
there will never be an us
we can never be "just friends"
because we both know that whatever we are is nothing platonic
but its never real
its never meant to be
im confused
because i never felt it
do i even know you? i cant decipher
i knew i was blind but i still went for it
maybe we were only meant to cross paths but never stay?
and maybe thats all we'll ever be
pit stops.
but im thankful for that
i hope u know that i want u to stay
but we cant and this will fade
so i guess this is goodbye
goodbye to the old you
the one i fell in love with
i realized that he's never coming back
and the new you now isnt who i wanna be with
this isnt us.
you can be so close with someone yet feel so distant.
i guess thats what i feel about you
im sorry
unknown Jun 2015
You're the reason why I stand here on my own two feet.
After many times I've been broken down, torn apart and shattered in to pieces, I'm still here.

To the person who once gave their all to me, but I was too foolish to keep it in my own hands:
I'm sorry. I was young and reckless, I didn't know what love was.
Love back then was something I thought came easy. You were everything to me, I just wasn't the right one for you. I had no idea that there was so much value in loving until one day, you just left me and that's when I knew how much I loved you. Crazy right? How I had to hit my lowest point just to realize it. You deserved so much better. You gave me so many chances, and somehow they just didnt work. You taught me the importance of giving love, rather than receiving it. You taught me what love was and what it was really like to feel heart broken. The butterflies in my stomach every time we touched, the feelings you made me feel, even the sleepless nights crying to Ed Sheeran songs at 3 am. Moments that have made a big impact on my life and I will surely never forget. Thank you for loving me and making me feel like I was perfect when I really wasn't.

To the person who I gave my heart to, but didn't know what to do with it:
It's okay. I don't regret a thing. You deserve it, but maybe not coming from me. We're meant to be in each other's lives, just not in that way. I realized I couldn't keep your heart from hurting when I, myself was suffering too. I watched you get hurt a million of times and I'd be lying if I say I didn't feel the same way every time you did. Know with your heart that every single piece of mine had your name written on it with a marker, only to be washed away by the tears I cried every time you walked away. Although these pieces were very small, somehow I tried sticking them back together again just to give it to you. I fought tooth and nail just to hold myself together and give the best I could to you, but it wasn't enough. I'm not the girl who would sweep you off your feet. I don't blame you, you're hurting as well. I know you don't wanna break my heart because it's as fragile as yours, but you did it effortlessly and without knowing. I hope you heal, I hope you find the right love that is the one for you. I wish you luck and I wish it true, because that's the best I can do for you.

To the person who I will love and will love me back in the future:
God knows what I've been through just to be with you. I know that it might have been a shot in the dark, but I'm glad that we made it somehow. Hopefully, this time I get to love you with being cautious of my mistakes in the past. I promise to give you all of me, and to never run out of my love for you. I'm sure that with my heart in your hands, you'll treat me right and love me the same way I love you. Thank you for giving me a shot at the love I wish I gave and the love that I have given, but never got back.

To the person who has been broken down, torn apart and shattered into pieces:
Thank you for staying here. Thank you for being patient and never loosing hope. Through every heart break, you've managed to piece the broken pieces back together. All by yourself. Keep staying strong and always stay true to yourself. Do not let the world make you rough. If it's one thing, help soften the hearts of those loved ones who have been toughened up by the hardships in life. Keep giving and giving, but never expect anything in return. Remember to always know when you've had enough and if it isn't worth it anymore. Respect yourself enough to walk away from the things that no longer make you happy, even if it's hard and it hurts. You are your own hero.

Love has made me the happiest, saddest and craziest person I could possibly be. One thing's for sure is that it changed me a whole lot, and it's definitely worth it. Every **** time.
unknown Jun 2015
Hang in there.
I know times are tough but that's okay, that's part of life.
I just want to let you know that I'm proud of you.
Proud of you for taking all the ******* and bearing with it.
Absorbing all the crap that life has given you and using it to become better.
You held on for so long that now, it's time to let go.
Let go. Let go of what hurts you, everything that once made you feel alive but came crashing down like the waves on high tide.
One thing to remember, never regret. Never regret loving someone just because they caused you pain. Remember that once, that person gave you a reason to smile or make you feel like you were the happiest person on Earth. That person made you feel love even if now, it barely means anything.
I remember you being so restless, so helpless because you didn't know what to do. That was 6 months ago when you thought everything was meant to be, when you thought that that person was the one for you.
Even if he wasn't, he's meant to be in your life for a reason.
It's a good thing you decided to give yourself space, because it's an ultimate test of friendship. You know that you can't live without this person, but maybe just not in that way.

You needed to start over.
Give yourself time, because in the end it will be worth it.
It will be worth it to wake up one day and feel okay again.
Yes, it's not bad to admit that you're hurting. Pain makes you human, so does love.
Obviously, you knew it was dangerous but you fell anyway. Not your fault, not a mistake. You had nothing to loose.

You had your pride.
But you learned how to swallow it for the person you were willing to fight tooth and nail for, even if you knew it wasn't worth it because they just didn't feel the same way.
Don't blame yourself for being confused. Being confused with the different kinds of love. Trying to find it in other people just so you can see if you could get over him.
Guess what? It didn't work, but again thats okay.
Yes, pain does make you loose your morals. It's inevitable and of course, it's also hard. It's hard to make the right decisions when you are blinded because you are so caught up in the feeling of being hurt.
But you know what?
You really kept it together. This might have been the most mature set of feelings you've had for a person. These feelings you knew were sure and real. These selfless feelings you've had because you knew you wanted another shot at the love that you wish you gave because in the past, you've received love and never gave it back.
You already know how important it is by now, and it's one thing to realize it and another to show it. You did both and you gave it a shot, even if in the end you didn't make it.

Dear self,
You deserve all the love that you have given.
All the love that you once gave to this special person who probably didn't deserve it as much. You gave so much love, but if you don't receive any you'll run out.
Maybe God is reserving you for the right person because He's waiting for the right time and place for it.
Thank you for knowing that, thank you for taking care of that person who has a special place in your heart even if it hurt so much. Thank you for not having bitter feelings like the past, for being more mature about everything. Also for accepting the fact that people will hurt you, even the ones you love, and even having the will to go on despite it.
You never gave up, you're not giving up on love. You're just wise to know when you've had enough.

Dear self,
*You are a fighter.
unknown May 2015
It's the late night phone calls that last until 3 am
It's the way we talk about anything and everything
It's the way we hang up but we both know we don't want to
It's the way you don't know how much I love you.
unknown Jan 2015
8:00 PM Wednesday night and you're still on my mind
I can still feel the taste on my lips that intertwined
with the glass that held the drink so perfectly
as I swirl the glass around to take in your scent
and admire the color of your burgundy
I know your taste is heaven sent
You're one of my constants, I know it's meant

My love for wine is as deep as the Mariana's trench
With you, I wouldn't mind being drenched
Ain't nothing better than the feeling of wine drunk
It makes me wanna get loose and get crunk
Funny how wine is meant for the classy
When right now, I just wanna get ******
I love you wine.
unknown Jan 2015
You know that feeling
Where you just wanna crumple up
and die in a hole
That feeling inside you that just eats you up
and swallows you whole

Was it what I said?
Well, it wasn't my intention
Came out wrong, I dont even wanna mention
People make mistakes even the ones we love
But making them is something I'm really tired of

It feels like I'm hanging on a piece of thread
Because some things are better left unsaid
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