one. landslide by fleetwood mac is a really good song to listen to when you're sad or upset
two. i struggle with mental health which is, but not limited to, bpd and ptsd
three. john oliver's episode's of 'last week tonight' make me smile on my bad days
four. i am over eighteen and a half years old
five. i graduate june 9th and that means i'm one million percent done with high school
six. yellow is a really good happy color and purple is a really good sad color
seven. jennifer lawrence is really funny and super hot
eight. i apologize to my body for utterly ******* it over
nine. art may be the only thing that keeps me as whole as i am
ten. i know neko case is pretty great, and seeing her live in concert was the best night of my life

1:02 pm.

I can’t.
I can’t do this.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t.
I keep hitting walls.
I keep throwing ****.
And smoking until I throw up.
I don’t know what to do.
Do I continue this episode of painfulness?
Or do I die?
Or do I just sit here and let it pass?

Liar, Liar (Pants on fire)
Escapril day 24
Liar.
You said you did nothing wrong.
Liar.
You said you didn’t deserve it.
Pants.
You said I deserved every form of punishment I got.
On.
You screamed at me, egging me on.
Fire.
Now I’m on fire and borderline expelled.

I am suicidal.
I am angry.
I am experiencing shame.
I am sad.
I am resenting every horrible thing I have ever done.
Lastly, I am manic.


I am sad I hit him.
I am shaming myself because I shouldn’t have done what I did.
I am suicidal because I’ve finally had time to process/realize what I did.
I am angry at him for egging me on.
I am resenting him for blowing me off.
I am having an adverse reaction to a med and experiencing a manic episode.

What do I do?
Who do I ask for help?
Do I go inpatient?
Do I fight this on my own?
What.
Do.
I.
Do.