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ATL Jan 20
Eh
III. “LOOK AT THE BIRDS OF THE AIR; THEY NEITHER SOW NOR REAP NOR GATHER INTO BARNS”––UNCONCERNED ABOUT TOMORROW. “CONSIDER THE GRASS OF THE FIELD –– WHICH TODAY IS.”

LOOK NOW:

A bus.

In the seat near her, of wired silver hair, of wilting lilies- a face that is a spattering of moles, the teeth an inch from necessity: Brianna. What creature is this? What torment? The nature of yourself is a nature of no other- you are uniquely ugly and I have prayed for and forgotten you.

This is only the presentation of your thighs
with hopscotch etchings and clipped denim…  

You crawl from the ramshackled crevice of timber and shingle,
from the carpet,
  To meet me on vinyl-
and teach me a pity of the circus.
ATL Nov 2022
A backwards promise tied through in pittance-
an empty confrontation
closing in faces stern and the usage of shoes
at the end of some chapter,
some example of life.

It is a things beginning,
a wandering womb that is myself,
turned gangrenous with twisted mark
and feature, crawling up into my chest
To make home with all other things motivated by the cloying and eyeless angel of the house, all things falling to the usage of shoes.
ATL Oct 2022
Natura, as in birth,
deceiver, material fact in perceptual fiction;
to which the bird sings and flesh returns, shallow earth roiling with worms in mud;
your body is mine- on great gusts you carry my breath.

Your skin, parsed, has become a word of my soul; a flesh folded dove unclasped in freedom from a party trick,
soaring outwards on dreams turned luminous through countless lies and premonitions, unfurling in worldly frenzy.

You have inveigled me in flattery to become an exertion-
an eye, an ear, a mouth, a hand, a nose, a science;
to study the motion of which I am indifferent consequence, to crystallize the miracle of myself in my skin-
to learn and forget.
ATL May 2022
and everything is a little too easy,
and a little too hard

it is hard for me to call upon myself as an invalid or anything approaching its opposite-
I remember my english teacher in sixth grade exploring basic grammatical principles in our language,
and I remember exercises in temporal deletion
like video games and platitude

I remember eyes, blue or brown, colored hair-
everything has color except to those unfortunate few

I remember when I did not drink for fear of becoming something other than, but now I do it in efforts to return to myself

my father tells me that I began to speak at less than a year old,
that I did not babble

I do not know what this indicates, as parents are reluctant to give their young to scientists-

in his mentioning it is an effort to grasp at something more than,
but I am alone in regularity,
taunted by hopes of this prospect-

and I am fickle, laughable in this denigration, dramatism, insouciance

some other words
ATL Jan 2022
People like imagery and trinkets and things-
they abide by the boundaries of themselves and move onwards, emboldened by this recognition- this worship

but I am a pike made of flesh-
bloated like a fish,
wretched, unknowing in mirrors.

This world is my species-
my species indirect,
as bloated, as wretched.

The beauties I find I create,
and even then I hate them afterwards,
I hate too much for the sake of my love-
my embarrassment.
ATL Mar 2021
a rough bit of it all
torn about the tinged straights-
a bridge to build,
a brick to lay,
another day gone by.

the ornaments inside my house no longer serve amusement-
my clothes mismatched all habberdashed
rest sullen on my skin,
the glow of screens tear at the seams of mildly sane perusement-
and I cannot drink away the ghouls with bucketfuls of gin...

what to do?
o, what to do?
another click or brushstroke-
a painting made for debts unpaid
to some stew of soul and self...

I’ll wrench some “purpose” from the pulpit and stuff it on a shelf.
ATL Feb 2021
dead-

you are dead. twice over,
curled- in repose
without goodbye.

i miss
your callousness, your disregard.
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