so this is what it feels like to be sad. my heart tortures itself, it does not sting as much as an ant’s bite, nor is it as severe as an open wound, but the pain reverberates. my heart throbs to the beat of a sad piano tune, it’s in dissonance. the pain in my heart does not **** quick, i think but i am certain it drains.
so this is what it feels like to love. my brain becomes unable to do most of its basic function, I lose most of my self and yet find parts of me I did not know existed, I associate every thing that I see with Love, and love everything that I see I have been able to live without Love since I’ve come to life, now, I do not want to
so this is what it feels like to feel. i’ve come across happiness, happiness beyond belief. happiness beyond reason happiness, just the word makes me think of you, Love you taught me how to feel.
you do good acts to please your god you say good words to appease your god you offer good things to ease your god you live your life for your god whom you fear and teach all your peers to cower from you believe your god sees all that you do and all the others, too you believe that your god has time for you you believe in your god does it believe in you, too? you live in fear of its judgment oh god! I’ve no god, no one to fear no one to hear do i scare you? I remember you said that godless people like I scare you if so, then am I your god as well?
still, I remember her wrapped in sheets white, will not, could not mistake it her hands beckoned me to come forward she seemed proud of her nightly conquest she wanted me to look peel my eyelids open no, she wanted me to stare down on what she has ensnared there in her bed, laid a man revolting, he did not seem like a man, rather a demon disguised, sheets though white could not hide
still, I recall her smiling triumphantly looking down proudly on her catch of all the prey she has caught this one will be her downfall
it feels like i am dreaming even in waking life— to long for feelings I’ve never felt to miss a presence I’ve never met to relive a memory I’ve never had it feels strange to miss things that have never happened to wish to come back to a time that has never occurred to once again be the person I never was to revisit a place I’ve never been
Indeed, it feels strange to want all that I’ve had only in my dreams.
only the good die young the wretched stretch and fold gray then mold all the sinners inevitably grow old if this is truly so, then afterlife’s keeper must be cruel and cold treating life as a commodity only while it sweats gold of such saying, I’ve been told and retold life for the good runs so quickly it slips your hold
if all good things must come to an end then, I shall live forever.
i remember you fondly in a haze of smoke and liquor your face illuminated by neon lights you were a sight impossible to forget, a sight I’d never regret
so I remember you sweetly, distinctly, your voice echoes in my head my heart pounds, beats erratically, though your mouth formed words I understand not a word you’ve said with you i’ve become a mess tipsy, even without a drop of liquor in me
so I remember you fervently the heat of the slightest of your touch your breath on my neck, every cliché that ran through my mind, each fear that crossed, which you’ve erased with time,
I remember you so vividly not even time can jade your memory.
I’ll keep you in my hands until you bubble up and fade away I know that something as precious you won’t stay long enough for me to begin to hate the clock is ticking, I know that Time will not wait for the two of us, not for me, not for you, not for a couple of misfits of has been’s and too late’s
so I’ll keep you in my arms, and hold on to you, fiercely, gently, I will keep you safe. I know I come off as a coward, I admit that I am not brave still, I will toughen up, every hardship I will face.
For you, whom I love dearly, no danger is too great.