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Dec 2020 · 145
To All Of The Healers
The heart of a healer
Holds many secrets
To care for another
through vulnerable moments
Through biggest regrets
Through tears and the pleading
To care for the others
Even when you're lonely and bleeding

When The Creator created
it was all by design
To help you help the others
through the same moments
That you were forced to leave behind

It was no mistake
The Creator did create
You to correct the balance of darkness
Because your heart among us
Is such a pure presence
The angels in heaven
Barely could open their eyes
The sun would blink at your sight
because all of your light
Is more blinding than a mirror, sunlit
Because you are here
We are all better for it
<3
Jul 2017 · 431
Scene in a Restaurant
mismatched wood
tape on ceiling
sauces on table
genuine laughter
dessert board with pie
silverware noises
talk about oil
khaki pants
pouring drinks in the morning
appreciate your environment
Nov 2016 · 410
Come Over
to permeate
in the leaves of trees
we hibernate
like gold in
the hands of thieves
across seas
I know you'd be proud of me
set the scene
velvet ropes
for a quarter life dramaturgy
weeps as it sings
in your car
in the rain
everything's different
left exactly the same
purples and greens
in the rain
in your eyes
I miss holding your hand at night
loved you harder
than a bottlecap opens
sugar fizz boils over
come over


COME OVER
Feb 2016 · 336
trance at the local bar
I watched your flame grow
Until I was in my room alone
Thinking about you
When you were in my living room
When you were dancing in my living room
Oct 2015 · 344
Stability
You walked casually away
I was bursting into flames
Here come the headaches
The air smells like medicine
I found myself alone

nobody told you?
you can’t hide from this heat
our love was ******* gorgeous
and then you ****** us
coughing up dust
pulling the curtains closed

Too much wine
creeping on the edge of silver lining
because my pen is tired of writing
on my hands and knees
the countless ways you smile with your teeth

Do forget
The unpleasantness
Chemical taste upon the tongue
Exhaled through the lips

Softly whistle your siren song
this will be the last time
Because I’ve been fast approaching death
loose grip and thin skin
Chemical taste upon the tongue
Hold the exhale in
Aug 2015 · 760
Scribbling of a Mad Man
It’s been a whirlwind of days. I’m writing after being inspired again by a Gonzo documentary. This revolutionary style is the contribution of journalist within the story journalism. Which is magic. Sticky, delicious connectedness. Because to write a good story, you have to be an interesting writer. And an interesting writer must be an interesting person with interesting experiences and thoughts. Lame people write lame stories and great people write great stories. It’s just that if your lame you’ll like the lame story and think it’s great. No classifications are really necessary, you drooling evolutionary creature. As your spirit sings to the addition of added information to your consciousness. So, gonzo journalism- now you suddenly added a wildly interesting character to your story. Yourself. It’s a fool proof plan. Because each one of us know that we are the best. But how far would the individual go for their own story? It's an every day test. And yet, how authentic can you continue to be. Not to say that Hunter Thompson didn’t fabricate stories. But he matched a level of absurdity that by logic made the truth and fabrication indecipherable. A terrible, carnival maestro puppeteer planting questions in place for the reader to suddenly wonder about the writer, did that really happen? We could never be sure. Because even if the writer confirms in person of the account, we can still never be sure because we do not have the concrete ability to tell what that specific experience was. We cannot tell because in this world there are truths and lies and it doesn’t ******* matter any way because it’s all the same. It’s all a creation. It’s all one, whole thing chillin together in a small plot of city grass hidden by a paint peeling fence in a sunburst alley in some stinking city. While we separate our books into categories- what is real section, what is not real section, this section, that section, and other stuff. Mostly because we always want to know what we are in for. Because if we know what we are in for, then we get something. knowing. Like a lousy christmas gift. Which has no practical application. It’s an acorn swimming in a sea of acorns and walnuts and the squirrel god just likes eating nuts in general. He doesn’t give a ****. To be frank, he’d actually like if there was an even bigger variety of nuts.

In the process, should a writer ever really delete and edit what they say while they are writing? You said something and suddenly you don’t want to say it anymore- delete. A cohesive piece to your **** storm brain’s thought process, gone. Will the reader understand you less or more now? Does that really even matter. Does the reader matter? More than anything. The readers hold all of the knowledge. They seek out and absorb information from their personally groomed selections as predictable as a trophy wife in a tennis skirt. Words, like toothpaste oozing from a toothpaste tube, will not go back in. Unless you have the technology to put in back in, to prove a grueling point to a close friend that you have to win the argument over. This is the 21st century for crying out loud you ******* idiot. We can do whatever we want.

So this is all frank language. Because brilliant men, are mad. And brilliant women, are beautiful. And it comes off matter of fact when in another universe I am writing the antithesis to every word delivered to this page. Like my evil twin. The dark matter to my matter. While I’m the one on Earth writing the coupe de grais of bathroom poetry. Words- the trying, conniving, carefully plotted seeds of rash giving plants. Affecting everything they touch, spreading thought and emotion feverishly, plaguing us nationally, while they remain the same. Genderless lines, basic shapes, swirling into a vortex of time when you could not yet read but still saw words. We keep words around, always around, kept close within reach, always in eye sight. Just look around.
Aug 2015 · 1.3k
I wrote this on DMT
I don’t mind the smoke
Because I like to watch the smoke rise
Your dialated pupils
Shine more than any sunrise

Is this all just a dream
Where did it begin
I get it
I get it

Larger than a force of wind
Just let it begin
Just let in begin

Happy, shiny diamond rays
These are the best days
These are the best days
I get you
I get you
a surprisingly sing-songy, simple writing for the complexities that pursued within the heart of the universe.
Jan 2015 · 333
Settled In Twilight
cocoon inside your blanket
let the waves come take you
nightmares spill out of your head on the pillow
with a single deep breath
the day is dead
Dec 2014 · 411
Sharing A Sleeping Bag
Silence is silver
I don’t want any tea with my sugar
I am at one with apples
Christmas eve
Just hanging at the gallows
Another flawless execution
To remedy the peeling sutures
Here, it's a flat scene.
Christmas lights twinkle
Sparkling within the reflection of the tv screen
Evergreen, oh, evergreen.
Your plastic limbs
hardly deserve any given esteem
Because you’re an imposter
One of the biggest fakes
That I have ever seen.
Our relationship is prehistoric
Like an old woman sitting at a beauty parlor
But my sheets are still warm
Sleep lost like a dead king
And now i'm miserable, dear
Since there's nowhere to run
Because I just got here.
So if you do love me
Show, don't tell.
And I’ll do my best to quiet
The prison riot
Going on inside your wishing well
We’re two of a kind
a sheep and spider
Sharing a sleeping bag
Nov 2014 · 793
Los Angeles blues
Los Angeles whispers lies in my ears while I’m sleeping
A glittered invitation of deprivation
And I awaken in darkness only to feel woe
A moment of silence for the troubled Hollywood starlet
who weeps alone after the show
Trying to scrape up words to say these days
Is like scrubbing blood out of the concrete
These palm trees no longer impress, only lulling me to sleep
Oct 2014 · 389
Better than any Cinderella
last time I saw you
you wanted me dead
but look who's laughing now
because look who's still handcuffed to my bed

but even now, he's got control over me
and it's not hard to see
because whenever I look into his eyes
I softly crumble into the breeze

and I think he's perfect
the way his hands fit around my hips
and every time i'm blown away
by the way he kisses my red lips

so if the drugs make my sweet heart stop
and I breathe my last breath into your arms
i'll haunt you like ghost
to let you know that i'm not gone

you know i'm better than any Cinderella
stomping on my finished cigarette
so come down from your castle
and start making me sweat
Oct 2014 · 1.0k
This Is A Stickup
Well, ****.
I used up all my luck.
Counting stars and lighting up
The weeds not enough
Because my tolerance is up
Always getting lifted
To rise above the issues
While I barely keep hope for better things
And meanwhile, you're passing out diamond rings
To anyone and anything but me
so, I don't want to even think what you do
With your smooth lines
And your kissing booth
And in my drunken state
I'm wondering underneath grey clouds
And every time I start to wonder about you
I end up fainting in front of the crowd
So i'm tearing this up and throwing it away
Not doing a **** thing but dream of us together
laughing about the world and eating ******* ice cream
But really i'm here
Drinking this clear party liquor
Finding pieces of us in it
Coming home alone
I miss you *******
This is a stick up
Give me all of your love
Sep 2014 · 478
By A Thread
Dumbfounded
The smoke rolls out of my relaxed mouth
As I ask the moon for guidance in my head
My heart pounds
Feeling the buzz of nicotine inside it
Because i've been
Trying to keep up with my own life
Barely hanging by a thread
Sep 2014 · 539
Depression: A Murder Story
I will never soul my soul to you again  
I fell straight into your web
I barely struggled then
As I waited for your bite
You were a lion waiting in the den
On a rainy night
And I was hopeless as an unsuspecting insect
That flies straight into the light

You used to tempt me every time
With your charming, whispered lies  

You offered me the clothes off of your back
And I thought I’d got away
I thought I had been whisked away by night
Standing blindfolded in the day

And I thought this was the ending
This was only the beginning

And you were the only thing I needed
The deceit unhidden in your awful grin
Suddenly everything was tainted
Even the good things felt like poison

I was taken by the current of sorrow
So I floated away with all the rest
I surrendered without a second thought
Or an objection on my lips
I had no words left to say
Caught up listening to sirens
I had no idea this whole time
You were washing my hope of life away
Standing proudly right beside them
I had no words left to say
I knew I had already began sinking
Because my lungs were filled for days

I still brought you in
And carried all your weight
Too far gone to be salvaged
To dead on the inside to be saved
Because then I’d believe whatever you wanted me to any way
You are the most miserable person I’ve ever known
And they’d say, “don’t talk to yourself that way”

Until one split second
I had finally had enough
I fought back and I finally stood up

Where have I been!?
My heart’s shot dead
This whole time
I was waiting for you to save me
With my back turned
The bullet burned a bullet hole inside me
And from that moment, you knew I was deceived
Because you were the one who shot the gun
And told the ambulance to leave

Until one split second
This was all too much
I fought back for myself
and I finally stood up
And I ripped you straight out of my skin
Because this was finally the end of us
And I watched you writhing on the floor in pain without me
Like some sick, disgusting succubus

And I know you still watch me crawl into bed at night
Keeping an ever watchful eye
Because without my power
You never had a life

And I will NEVER feed you like I used to
Never again will you hurt her
To hell -you sickening depression
To hell - you daily, slow death ******
Aug 2014 · 185
Dreams
really do
come true
Aug 2014 · 1.1k
Wasps Around Flowers
I couldn’t give it up.
Coffee’s luscious touch
As I’m stuck and I’m broke
A lackluster girl depressed to the bone
No matter where I go
my residence is clothed in white walls
and still, the darkness follows me
Haunting these very halls
And when the clock strikes midnight
It brings out the worst in me
the quietness, the stillness
No one here and no one’s coming
So I wake to the morning
To find my dream catcher was a fruitless endeavor
Turn to the window to see the wasps around flowers
Aug 2014 · 5.8k
Lovebug Infestation
First date just ended
and quickly after I left
as the headache set in
barely catching my breath
it feeds off my feelings  
I can feel it creeping its way in
A case of the lovebug
Has got me again
Coughing up sweet words
Going faint from the comfort
This is how it always begins
It stole all of my thoughts
And gently erased them
Sweetly crawling around in my brain
Rearranging, rewiring, they all work the same
I was too doped up to realize  
That this case is so serious, my sanity died
And now it’s too late
All I can think about
Is your hand in mine
Your face
Your eyes
****** delusions and lies
And still I’m rather quite hopeless
Desperate, caught in the moment
Helpless to stop it
But why would I want to?
Aug 2014 · 536
My Heart Sighed
You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you
My heart sighed
When I first laid eyes on you
And if I had enough time
To do everything
Nothing would make me happier
Than doing them with you
Aug 2014 · 415
Los Angeles
Temporary escape from the suburban nightmare
Into a city wilder than the jungle
Egos the size of the palm trees
There’s people scraping by
And there’s people burning money
Collecting bottles off the street
The next big thing
The wannabes
These beautiful faces
All this honest talent
It’s beautiful and tragic
These people made of plastic
This cities caving in slowly
Sorry we’re at capacity
The crows are mocking me
All my shoes are *****
Wasted time on the 405
Well I know about your connections
And I could not give a ****
Turn the sprinklers on
We’ll use the last of the water up
So when did we all decide
We’d choose this sunshine place to thrive
Does this really feel like home?
Just because anything here goes?
Aug 2014 · 352
Bon Voyage
I’m setting sail out to sea
An oceanic storm of fractured pavement and unleaded gasoline
Because when you’re trying to break free
Of unwavering routines
You take the high road to a new life
And the road feels timeless
With its own mind
In an instant
Your world can change from calm to madness
Like being under water
Can’t break through the surface
reaching upward
Which one are you drinking:
The water or the wave?
And you think -what brought you here?
Trapped below the surface
Because although you can’t get out
The water is still clear
The gravels hardness
And the oceans fluidity
Out here you are alone
No friends no family
And you fear your ship is sinking
What would you do?
You guessed:
Surrender to the sea?
Because there were never any life vests  
The salt in the ocean
the salt in these cuts
Unwavering pressure
Of this heart pumping blood
I’m lost out in the infinite sea
And yet it’s softly rocking me to sleep
Jun 2014 · 25.1k
Anything but the bike
And now my coffees cold
Your backhanded compliments are getting old
We got in a fight tonight
you stormed out
you kicked over my bike
Jun 2014 · 370
Prisoner's Cinema
Your beauty transcends time and space
I’m now insignificant and out of place
It’s been eight months since I got locked away
And soon after I got carried away with the disillusioned days of you and me
And I swear I could see them
Inanimate objects as if they were speaking
They whisper- the seasons are changing
Not very good conversation
But I stay because I’m polite
And every night
This prisoners cinema
Is tearing apart my lonely mind
Like a kiss in the dark from a stranger
Like sand in my palm
pacing in circles
but those days gone
memories, constantly remembering
the dazzling view to be in the light of your company
The lights are out as I fade into feeling
I stare at the fan as it chops away at the ceiling
Begging misery, please dance with me
Because lack of the love is the worst disease
Feb 2014 · 267
Declined
I’m tired of waiting around for you
I’m sick with contempt
And you
Declined my interview
Feb 2014 · 414
I Fell For The Tramp
I can’t ******* breathe
From your cigarette smoke
and these awful feelings
I bite down on my lips
Peeling the skin out of nervousness
Driving home alone
Watery eyes staring through a rainy window

So tell me if you can
Help me try and understand you
How you’re a man of many masks
what is really going on below
because I’d die just to feel what you know

But maybe through the saline
Will bring a revelation pristine
And I’ll accept what’s best for me
because in reality
you only care about yourself babe

and I know you’ll try to come back
but you used up all your selling tactics
And backhanded compliments
And you end up sitting around and feeling sorry
Drunkenly
You cordially invited everyone to your pity party
and now you say you’re going insane
And I’d bet
There's already another girl at your hip
Right now you’re talking to your cigarette
And I know you’re type
And I know you’re saying
“But babe, I can’t help it
I’m an artist”
Enslaved in a wave of consciousness
Where criminals live like predatory animals
A mind-made society
An undercurrent of malicious activity
Institutions disguised as truth
Where secret knowledge is the most power
The wells are dry and the tap water is going sour
The carefully planned language and images we are sent
With irreversible impact, truth and time will reveal what it all meant
This whole society is a masterfully crafted scheme
And I know others experience and see its transparency  
To hurt everything in and around it
All for money
Welcome to the conspiracy
Feb 2014 · 324
Get A Life, Juliet.
The ethereal beginning, an intimate relationship started to take shape
To convey feelings of deep affection, feelings sweeping one away
Time passes, and in the progression, the rose colored glasses turn to gray
a fissure became a fracture, and my hope in you suddenly snapped and contracted
and now there’s no hope left for me
marching to the drum beats in the parade of the lonely
so I’ll let my soul free
til death do us part, because I know he deadly loves me
Feb 2014 · 2.5k
Consequential Strangers
You never fail to mystify me
Love out of reach
A devastating fallacy
I wish you the very best
But only feel sorry partially
There’s a smile on your face again
No use for thinking so logically
A hidden curriculum so easy to mask
I’d love to know you but hate to ask
You are all I dream about
-And there you were-
A love aptitude that’s entirely illiterate
Your pearly smile stays stretched continuously illuminate
Save the feelings for the archive
So foreign and entirely glamorized
They fail to represent what reality is waiting impatiently
Your looks are intense
They compliment your insanity
But in the mean time I’m failing miserably
I can’t even look you in the eye
I’m too shy
Feb 2014 · 804
King of The Night Sky
You’re exactly like the moon
With all its different phases
The moon that’s tattooed on your forearm
The moon that’s covering your paintings
And just like the moon
You are bold and apparent
With certainly nothing to hide

But although you’re this way
You’re still so far away
To truly understand you up close

So I lie awake sleepless
Because the moon’s made of secrets
As it sits alone in the sky

And now you’re waning and whining
You’re fading, you’re dying
As the sun tries to take over the show

Glowing palely, you shine
As you live for the nightlife
You’re high and you’re faded again

We moondance
We’re kissing
By daytime you’re missing
The light breaks the morning horizon

So by the light of the moon
I’ll see you soon
Living at night because you’re a beautiful sight
But by the time I see light  
I’m just another admirer with drowsy eyes

— The End —